It was a dark day across the land of hyrule.It had been dark for several day's .No sun had been seen,also not one bit of light like fire had been lit .No one knew why this was happening except for one evil master of the darkness Ganondorf .
He had been plotting this evil scam for years and now had finally completed it with some success .He was proud with himself .
Link was getting worried because all the old people thought there life was over because it was the end of the world .Link tried and tried to light a fire but it kept flickering of again .He made plans to go and find Ganondorf because he was top on the list .He was right it was Ganondorf .
"well well if it is'nt my little number one fan Link" said Ganondorf with a little evil tone in his voice.
"what have you done to the sun" asked Link with a little worrie in his voice.
"I don't no what you meen .See what you have to understand is that i like the darkness Link ,that's where i came from .You have to understand now ."
"No i don't i don't care if you come from the darkness ,everyone no's that and if you ehh ehhh want this land to be dark just go back to your owne land ."
"But i can't see before you were born i was born here see link you never knew about your parents and i never knew about mine ,don't oyu ever think that why some of us people have something in comon and can then found out that your releated to them well link i'm not your father i'm your father's father .See this is the land where i cam from so are you going to be a good little grandson and run along and pick daisies or what ever you kid's do nowaday's ."
"Your not my father's father ," shouted Link .
Suddenly the door of darkness crecked open .
"Link" said a voice that semmed not worried at all
"Princess Zelda what are you doing here" asked Link
"My oh my what a sudden suprise ,i was expecting you Princess Zelda .Now my number one fan Link does'nt belive that i'm his father's father .No this is the bit where you i meen us let all our secretes go no let's start with zelda since she just joined us ."
"Well Link Ganondorf is telling the truth i knew all along that he was your grandfather .I no it is shocking and you don't need to be in a mood with me just cause i never told you ,becuase if i did tell you then the problems would probley start ." explained Zelda with confadince .
"Ok ok but i as in me if you understand think it's sick right sick ."
"Now can you please return the light back to hyrule the old people are getting into fights now and other things that you would'nt want to no ."
"No why should i ."
"Becuase i am the princess of this world and i ORDER you to "
"i thank Vaati for this spell .TO STONE WITH YOU" shouted Ganondorf .
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh" screamed the princess .
"No your turn .Let's see how you like it in the Dark world ."
"No wait wait AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh" screamed Link .
Link tried to save princess Zelda but failed .Ganondorf sent Princess Zelda to stone just like Vaati did in his time .Link is now being sent to the Age of Darkness knowen as The Darkness of Time .
"Now that those two have been sorted .It is time to call apon all followers of us dark sorcerers .Come my friend's come and join me for the Final Attck of Hyrule .
Link was now in the middle of Time and War .The Age of Darkness is a bad place down down the timeline before light even existed to those all who can all light a fire .Fire was'nt there neither was internet .Link was still going down down the timeline .
Link woke up to a start .He got up looked around and saw nothin but darkness .The air was cold with forst .In someplaces it was so cold that when you breath out of your mouth ,your breath freezes and drops to the ground .
Link walked around and bashed into lot's of ,what felt like tree's .He herd growling up a head and then a little scream from a poor sad helpless little girl .
"please if anyone can here me help me "
link looked for something sharp that can go through the creatures body .Then to Link's left side there was a sliver spear like thing >he picked it up and ran up to the creature and stabbed it right through the guts of the creatue and then found out that the creature was a wolf .
The girl thanked him very much and showed Link to her town .It was a very small town and very dark like the rest of the land .He asked the little girl ,why there was no light but she replied with
"Well on one stormy night ,it all went dark like a black out and one dark dark sorceror came and stole all the light that god lent to us and it never came back but people have started to get used to it but the other's are getting nut's and we locked them in the Down Under .They keep saying that there is going to be a hero from the fucture coming to save us but nothin unusal has happened yet except from now ." said the little girl ."By the way i'm Mandy what's you name ?"
"I'm link and Mandy can you please take me to this Down Under Place"
"oh yes i love going there for some reason .See i'm a bit weird and when you see the light and look at me you will find that i look weird as well ."
So Mandy took Link across the twon and headed into the forest .She knew where to go even though it was pitch dark .She did bump into a thew tree's here and then but then right in the middle of the forest was the Down Under .Mandy lifed the hatch door and lead the way down .There was lot's of moaning and groaning and mumbling and questions like .Is he here? .Has he come? and Has the Light returned? But Link and Mandy ignored all these questions and went right to the back where a very poor elderly lady was sitting .
"He he heeellllloooo Maaanddddyyy"
"Hello Olly"
"Haaassss heeeee coooommmmeee myyy deerre?"
"Yes he has come and he looks very well but he killed that fox ,it was a fox not a wolf ,that came for me on purpuse."
"veerrryyy gooodddd meeeee deeeeaaaarrrrr ."
"So what is it you want with me "asked Link .
"well we want you to return the light back to our world .If you return light to our world you will also recive light in your world ."
"But wait a minute .Where did it all go? in the first place ."asked Link
"High high up in the stormy mountains .Our breave soliders went up there but never came back .So you'll have to bve good at fighting deadly beasts and be able to stand with such a storm .You might not be welcomed there .These horrible creatures live up there and kill anyone you passes on there territory .The light has been put up there in there mountain whihc is garded by this great big unnowen monster .You have to be brave very brave but i have a feeling that you can do it because you managed to survive throw the time travel thing ."
"Ok ok i'll do it but where can i get my weapons ?"
"I'll show you to your weapons" said Mandy .
"So what happens if i don't return "
"The light will never return .You are our only hope with seeing light again".
"Ok i'll start tomorrow or is that to late or should i start straight away?"
"You should start straight away my younge solider"
"Ok well what do i do when i find the light ?"
"You must coime back here right away and put it on top of our hatch in the forest "
"Right ,i'll try to remmber all this ".
"Here is your weapons Link.Good Luck"
"Thanks i think i will need good luck " said Link with a bit of confadence .
So as Link made his way out of the forest and made his way to the moutain Mandy made a little trip up the moutain as well but she went the quick way .
So what will happen to Link ?.What's Mandy up to? And what creatures are living up on the mountain that Link has been warned about? .Will link recive the Light crystal ?.
Find out in the next part of The Darkness of Time.
So what did you all think of it so far?
If you want me to be blunt, I couldn't read it. Your spelling and punctuation were too bad to read. I cannot read a story that has bad spelling/punctuation even if the plot is good.
yes, I....can't understand it....you need to revise this, read it out loud and see how it sounds.
List who is saying what, I got lost in a conversation.
i'll sort it out tonight ,i can't just now cause i'm at school .I'm really sorry guys :(
I'll also give you a tip:
Periods are directly after the word at the end of a senetence, there's no space between the two.
Also, commas are your friend, apostrophes are only used in conjuctions and possesive words (like he's coming or that book is Ken's), not in plural words like days.
Also a lot of things happen without us being told they happen, like Ganondorf never does anything to turn her to stone besides tell her to become stone. It has little creativity in sentence arrangement and you keep changing between past and present tense...
well i'm sorry then .My english teacher has taught us a bit of things like that but now we're doing paragraphs .So i will get better .
I'll do a different story.
It's just consturctive criticism, you don't have to be sorry--it's what writers get. I'm a writer, I know. I've had people freak out at me before because they didn't want to hear anything bad about their story, even if they were horrible. I'm glad you didn't flip. I actually saved the messages that one of them sent me....man are they scary...
right ok thanks oh and it will take awhile with me wright the story
Umm...because a story wasn't written well doesn't mean that writing a different story would help you do better, what would help is to just write the story and then sit there and revise it, check spelling and punctuation, and have somebody else read it over and revise.
but i did i used a programm to help me
A program isn't going to necessarily catch every mistake. I commonly use feel for fell and vice versa, and Microsoft Word does not catch it. That's why you need to look it over yourself and have others look it over for you.
i used microsoft office word 2003 .So i'll just get my brother to look over it (i'll probley have to pay him )
The thing about the spell checker is that it won't catch homonyms. It won't realize if you use blew instead of blue, because they are both words. It also can't fix the other problems, like bland storyline and poorly structured sentences. Only revision can catch that.
ok .i'll try harder next time :-\