The Desert Colossus

For years, it has been something that Zelda players have overlooked, but now we're taking this resurrected topic over to our chief analyst of monolithic structures, Tacheon Black.  Tacheon?

Thanks, VUDAZ.  Everyone who has played Majora's Mask remembers the giant tower of stone, the Stone Tower.  However, nobody really truly understands why-- or how-- this tower came about.  The more one looks at this tower, the more it appears to be some sort of giant cactus, but that's only at first glance, and from some distance.  When one takes a closer look, it becomes apparent that there are several definitively phallic (http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/phallic) characteristics about the tower's structure.

Now, I propose, and bear with me for this, that this structure was built as a blasphemy to the Goddesses by the Ikanans.  They were infuriated that they were not blessed, as were their Hyrulean cousins, with the Triforce, but were instead forced to live in the outskirts of reality, in some separate, unknown dimension accessible only by some place deep in the woods of reality.  So, rather than make a simple plea to the Goddesses, or perhaps after many generations of pleading, they decided to take matters into their own hands, and built a tower to the heavens to try to reclaim the Triforce themselves.

This Ikanan tower of Babel was frowned upon by the Goddesses, and they cast the Ikanans into a cursed environment, forever forced to live as undying slaves to the power that they themselves sought.  Back to you, VUDAZ.

Thanks, Tacheon.  Now, there are several indicators that this may be the case, such as the stone blocks that our hero, Link, climbs during his ascent of the tower.  The tongues carved into these blocks, though seemingly decorative, have somewhat of a phallic look to them, and indeed are covering the groin of the character engraved into the block itself.

Once the Ikanans were cursed, however, they decided to make the blasphemy complete by transforming their Stairway to Heaven into a shrine of worship to the dark beast, Majora.  If you'll notice, the first room on the inside of the temple, when inverted, contains a decaying statue of Majora's Mask...

There are many, many other indicators toward this theory, none of which I can really remember at the moment, but what do you, dear reader, have to say about the matter?  A theory is nothing without support.

And that's all I have to say about that.

I remember reading about this theory somewhere... Maybe it was even ZU! Tower of Babel, the symbolism is too striking...

*Faints from sheer exhaustion*

Yes, well, that's where I got the original idea for it, but I decided that it's a cool enough issue that I wanted to move it over here, to DC.

Makes enough sense to be at least partially feasible. Ikana IS a cursed place, after all, being like a "manifestation" (for lack of a better term) of the Shadow Temple both day and night. I oughta look for the statue, too. This sounds like a good theory, Tacheon! ;)

Thanks!  Oh, and to clear up any confusion, by statue I meant the giant stone thing across from you when you first enter the temple.  The one that has an arrow-diamond-eye thing in one eye, and just a stone eye on the opposite side.

I would like some other proof of this, if you don't mind.
We really need Nintendo to use Termina again. It was such a cool place.

I completely agree that proof is needed, but if it were acquired, then it wouldn't be a theory, would it?  It would be a fact, or whatever.  I'll try to find a picture of the statuesque thing though.

Also, mind pointing out the phallic towers? ANd that one big hand... I've always had trouble figuring out where it was...

(http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/1/17/150px-Stone_Tower.jpg)
I... see your point.  ROFL!

That is a good theory, Lust.  I wonder if there is more evidence of the Ikanans worshiping Majora.