This will be the sticky where we ask Ezlo his questions.
Dear Ezlo: If a tree falls in the forest, and noone is around to hear it, how do we know it fell?
Dear Ezlo:
Should I get a piercing?
Dear Ezlo, this is more of a warning than a question, but I thought you might want to know that Gamefreak is now your boss. Do you think that he will be nicer or meaner than Jack?
dear Ezlo, whats the 1st thing you think of when i say umbrella?
Ummm, I suggest that each member should make their own question topic like I did instead of making a new topic for each question, so as to avoid an overflow of topics.
Or just PM Ask Ezlo with them instead. :D
Dear Ezlo,
If my head is bigger than Mount Olympus, then how does Death Mountain stand under its own weight?
Dear Ezlo,
I heard that you dated a tree once. Is this true?
Dear Ezlo,
Can you please tell people to stop thinking I'm a fish.. or a meuniere? ;___; (delicious though I may be.)
Dear Ezlo,
I have the embarising pictures of you that Jack used as Blackmail. Words cannot describe their disturbingness. What do you have to say for yourself?
I would just ask that a MOD deletes everything that isn't a question in this topic. Thanks
(that includes this)
That means what I said and what you said, and I rather have my suggestion not be ignored and deleted without being taken into consideration. So basically, just that post you made, actually.
Dear Ezlo, I looked behind the curtain that said "Do not look behind the curtain". It's a very big surprise that was behind it. So, are you going to guess what was behind the curtain? It's very unexpected.
Special appearance in Brawl? Assist trophy? Hmm?
Ezlo: Is it Evlis?!?! I KNEW he was still alive!
Note: I am not the won who became Ezlo. I didn't even want to be Ezlo. Too much hard work.
Dear Ezlo,
Why didn't you return my calls? I was trying to recruit you into the New Order of Darkness, but you seem to not to like us evil people, Is it because we have Vaati as a member? Will you join if we get rid of him?
Dear, Elzo
What will you do for a klondike bar.
Ezlo, was that a question?
Dear Ezlo, What would you say if I told you that Link was not really wearing you during Minish Cap, it was Vaati...
What is the order of sages smartest to dumbest?
I'll tell you, Axel!!!!! :D *taking question seriously*
Rauru -> Saria -> Impa -> Zelda -> Nabooru -> Darunia -> Ruto
Dear Ezlo, did you know that you got chocolate in my peanut butter? >:(
dEer 3zlo, rn't u sik of teh horibel gramer of som ppl on this sight??? i no i am!11!! it maykes me so madd i cant tak it!!!
Dear Ezlo, will I survive this entire trip?
Dear Ezlo,
Will you ever reply to us?
Dear Ezlo,
If God is an orange, then why does Lake Hylia reek of Garlicy Tomatoes?
Dear Ezlo, did you like that copy of the ACTUAL video from The Ring (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9xiOnqZMsU&mode=related&search=) I sent you?
Ezlo has informed me that due to extreme circumstances, he will be unable to take your calls at the moment.
So instead of waiting and waiting and waiting I offer a new service!
*Uses remote to turn on TV*
Announcer: 1001 reasons why picori go good with culinary arts. Featuring: Stewed Minish, Fried Minish Sauteed Minish, and my favorite, minish pot pie!
*switches TV off*
...
O_0
I think I've hadf enough shock for one day...
Dear Ezlo, did you die 0_o' ?
I have not abandoned my column writings yet, gentle reader!
......
Unlike a certain SOMEONE.
Now onto the questions!
"Dear Ezlo,
Why didn't you return my calls? I was trying to recruit you into the New Order of Darkness, but you seem to not to like us evil people, Is it because we have Vaati as a member? Will you join if we get rid of him?"
I'm sure that a certain SECRETARY is to blame for this malovent deed. Rest assured, she will be punished... as soon as I can remember her name... Now if only Vaat didn't have so much eyeliner...
What?
"Dear Ezlo,
If God is an orange, then why does Lake Hylia reek of Garlicy Tomatoes?"
As I can assure you, gentle reader, GOD IS AN ORANGE! err... maybe I should stay away from that weird pipe... :collapses:
"What is the order of sages smartest to dumbest?"
Wrong Whocares! I believe it is... err... the smartest would be that fine, oversized fish lady, yeah, the big smelly one... ruatoa-what was it now? Next we have... the lovely miss Durania!
:has someone whisper in ear:
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING THAT THIS ISN'T A BEAUTY PAGEANT?! IT SAYS... :mutters: ...
Where is that darn secretary of mine? She is the one to blame for this mess.
NEXT QUESTION!
"Dear Ezlo, will I survive this entire trip?"
If you can survive 3000 miles across the continent, then I'm sure I can survive being on a certain "Green Fairy's" head 24/7...
:has someone whisper in ear:
Are you telling me that that wasn't the original question? HUMBUG!
Now gentle reader, according to this chart, I will attempt to make as many appearances as humanely possible. If only 'that-secretary-whom-I-can't-remember-the-
name-of-and-whom-refuses-to-wake-me-up' would remember to wake me up. Or it will be back to the dungeon with her!
Dear Ezlo, Who's better, Kirk or Picard?
Dear ezlo, are you smarter than a 5th grader? I hope so, cause if your not thats pretty bad. ;D
Dear Ezlo, did you know that your actual secretary is Dan Green?
I gott another good one, dear ezlo, WAZZZZZ UPPPP? ;D
...Ethan, none of those have really been good, it's copying slogans...
Dear Ezlo, If Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care, why am I singing about it?
Dear Ezlo, do you have one of these lives people speak of?
Or a boot to the head?
Dear Ezlo, are you my mommy? ;D
Dear Ezlo, What's your favorite Zelda game?
Dear Ezlo,
Why does Orange Juice make my eyes and hair burn to the point of combustion?
Quote from: JQ Pickwick on August 08, 2007, 11:41:07 AM
Ezlo has informed me that due to extreme circumstances, he will be unable to take your calls at the moment.
So instead of waiting and waiting and waiting I offer a new service!
*Uses remote to turn on TV*
Announcer: 1001 reasons why picori go good with culinary arts. Featuring: Stewed Minish, Fried Minish Sauteed Minish, and my favorite, minish pot pie!
*switches TV off*
...
O_0
I think I've hadf enough shock for one day...
OMG! Fried Minish is one of the entres that I use in my play! (Zora Sticks, Fried Minish, Korok Meat Loaf, Tokay Soup, Zora Blood Punch, Minish Stew)
Anyway
Dear Ezlo,
Have you ever eaten Fried Minish?...Okay, I'll get right to the point: Daphne says your a cannibal.
P.S. What does Daphne look like?
Why did Vaati forget the Zora coffee?
Dear Ezlo, what is the worst question that has been sent to you so far?
Dear Ezlo, I meant besides that question.
Do you like doggies?
Dear Ezlo, I don't think I need your answer anymore.
Dear Ezlo, don'tcha wish your card games were fun-like-mine!
Dear Ezlo, why is Whocares required to only have one sentence letters?
dear ezlo, why arent you answering our questions?
Dear Ezlo, what is the point of this?
Why does it hurt when I urinate?
Dear ezlo, does your face hurt? Because its killin me, XD
Dear Ezlo,
Why?
dere eazloh,
i herd u liek mudkipz! iz dis tru!?/!11?// lol
Dear Ezlo,
Whose hand is it that's stuck in the toilet in the Stock Pot Inn?
Maybe we should just give this a rest for now, Ezlo already has too many questions to answer. (P.S. If you know who does Ask Ezlo, PM them and tell them to get on and answer these questions)
dear ezlo, why havent you answered any of our questions yet? I DEMAND SATISFACTION! *slaps ezlo with glove*
Dear Ezlo, is your absence due to your overdosing on Picorialis Natural Minish Enhancement again?
Dear Ezlo,
Why do Electrons taste so much like Grape-ade?
Dear Ezlo, who's on my account?
ACK! What's happened to me? I SWEAR I must learn to stay away from those strange smelling mushrooms!
Where's that darn secretary of mine? She's to blame for this mess!
:has someone whisper in ear:
What do you mean I already did this joke?!
"Dear Ezlo, Who's better, Kirk or Picard?"
Everyone knows the answer to this one! It's that handsome fellow over there, the one with the oversized chest and flamboyant deamonor. Ezlo loves the man of men, that bald-headed scoundrel, Kirkard!
"Dear ezlo, are you smarter than a 5th grader? I hope so, cause if your not thats pretty bad. "
I assure you, that the mighty Ezlo is smarter than anyone who manages to survive the modern public school system... Now if only I could figure out what 2+2 equaled... hmm... is it Five?
"Dear Ezlo, If Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care, why am I singing about it?"
Because when you attach magnets to robots, everybody cracks corn in crackling commas of constipated contraptions!
"Dear Ezlo, do you have one of these lives people speak of?
Or a boot to the head?"
I have a life to the head and a boot that people speak of. Of course, the life is filled with stinky mildew and the boot is boring with its drunk festerings of...
[size=15]MUSHROOMS![/size]
Oh wait, or was it the other way around?
"Dear Ezlo, What's your favorite Zelda game?"
Wouldn't this be obvious? that's right boys and girls! The almighty Ezlo is fan of the great "Zelda - The masked-minish-oracle-waker-of-time's-awakening"
"Dear Ezlo, Why does Orange Juice make my eyes and hair burn to the point of combustion?"
This is very simple... start using my patented Grape-aid and you will not go wrong! Grapes are opposites to Oranges, aren't they?
:has someone whisper in ear:
Curses to you, editor! What do you mean the common phrase is 'apples and oranges'? HUMBUG! lousy editor, always trying to....
"Dear Ezlo,
Have you ever eaten Fried Minish?...Okay, I'll get right to the point: Daphne says your a cannibal.
P.S. What does Daphne look like?"
My darned-secretary-whom-I-can't-remember-the-name-of' is a terrible liar. Now if only I could have some fried green minish stew...
PS: Like fried minish stew... OH WAIT!
"Dear Ezlo, what is the worst question that has been sent to you so far?"
This one
"Dear Ezlo, I meant besides that question. "
Then it's this one.
"Dear Ezlo, why isn't Whocares required to only have one sentence letters? "
Please see question and answer above.
"Dear Ezlo, what is the point of this?
Why does it hurt when I urinate?"
Good question! Now if only my secretary were here to answer it...
PS: Because your mother was a hamster, your father smelt of elderberries and you need to learn to stay away from my hot minish daughter.
"dere eazloh,
i herd u liek mudkipz! iz dis tru!?/!11?// lol "
Now if only I knew what you just said...
:goes to urbandictionary.com:
:returns:
OH DEAR GOD! YOU PERVERT! STAY AWAY FROM...
:Has someone whisper in ear:
Oops... I thought 'mudkipz' was a term for an animalistic fetish
:has someone whisper in ear:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS?!
"Dear Ezlo,
"Whose hand is it that's stuck in the toilet in the Stock Pot Inn?"
Believe me, if I were brave enough to go down there and find out, I wouldn't be answering this question. (I love self-explanatory paradoxes!)
"dear ezlo, why havent you answered any of our questions yet? I DEMAND SATISFACTION! *slaps ezlo with glove* "
please see questions and answers above.
"Dear Ezlo, Why do Electrons taste so much like Grape-ade?"
Because nothing can beat Mushrooms! AND LOTS OF THEM!! I MUST HAVE... MORE!!!
Now children, I hope this satisfied my obligation. BUT NOTHING CAN STOP THE MIGHTY EZLO!
......
(except for maybe that oversized elephant-owlbear in my lap! oh wait... AHHHH!!!)
and why arent my questions getting answered? I STILL DEMAND SATISFACTION! *slaps ezlo again with leather glove*
Dear Ezlo, you are being arrested for crimes against humanity, and the UN will decide your sentence. If it is a death sentence, you will be executed by a giant falling blade (a.k.a. a razor blade) that will cut you in half. What do you have to say for yourself?
Quote from: Whocares on September 05, 2007, 02:54:33 PM
Dear Ezlo, you are being arrested for crimes against humanity, and the UN will decide your sentence. If it is a death sentence, you will be executioned by a giant falling blade that will cut you in half. What do you have to say for yourself?
You could probably just use a razor blade. He's only a couple inches tall.
No kidding, you'd probably miss with a guillotine.
Dear Ezlo,
Can Whocares be executed for misspelling "executed"?
Dear Ezlo,
Paper or plastic?
Dear Ezlo,
The question as old as time.
Boxers, or Briefs?
Quote from: Maj. Edward Elric on September 06, 2007, 05:27:12 PM
Dear Ezlo,
The question as old as time.
Boxers, or Briefs?
Gamefreak, don't you remember? He goes commando. :P
Dear Ezlo,
Will I ever beat the SNES version of Final Fantasy II/IV?
Dear Ezlo,
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
Dear Ezlo,
Pirates, or ninjas?
Dear Ezlo, my sister likes Vaati. What should I do?
Deer Ezzlow,
mai ingleesh iznt tew god. wut shuld i du?
Dear Ezlo,
Who is the better voice actor, Nicholas Briggs or Makoto Shinkai?
Dear Ezlo,
Who do you think is the Weakest Link?
Dear Ezlo,
Where's Waldo? And is Vaati locked up in your closet like Daphne said?
Dear Ezlo,
Besides the Zelda series, what's your favorite video game? (Serious question)
WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER QUESTIONS?
Somebody PM Ezlo's other TDC account.
Dear Ezlo,
Did you know that the world is made of blue cheese?
Dear Ezlo, what got you into the hat-making business in the first place?
Dear Ezlo,
Ezlo! I choose you!
*Throws Pokeball*
Dear Ezlo, will you be my Halloweentine?
Dear Ezlo,
Where the hell are you?
Tu es un singe?
Link est un chien?
Dear Ezlo,
And then... this one time... at band camp... I heard you did something... very graphic. Is this true? (Just say yes or no)
The almighty Ezlo is back, boys and girls, to (hopefully) warrent the complaints of the great-editor-in-the-sky useless.
NOW ON WITH THE QUESTIONS!
From Whocares:
"Dear Ezlo, you are being arrested for crimes against humanity, and the UN will decide your sentence. If it is a death sentence, you will be executed by a giant falling blade (a.k.a. a razor blade) that will cut you in half. What do you have to say for yourself? "
What? There's a UN now? There's humans now too? Where the darned-editor have I been all this time?! This prompts an investigation. QUICK LINK! TO THE MINISH-CAVE!
From Malon the Ranch Girl:
"Dear Ezlo,
Can Whocares be executed for misspelling "executed"?"
Yes, yes he can. Just as much as a certain pointy-hat wearing guy should be 'executioned' for stealing my hot Minish daughter.
From Magmarfire
"Dear Ezlo,
Paper or plastic?"
That darned secretary is the one to make these types of choices. But according to the knowledge of the almighty Ezlo, Both create much destruction to the environment, so why not use the patented DIMENSION BAG OF DOOMTM! But of course! It's just a name, like the Death Bag or the Bag of No Return. All Bags like that have a name in the mysterious minish-pocket-dimension of DOOMTM!
From Gamefreak
"Dear Ezlo,
The question as old as time.
Boxers, or Briefs?"
How rude, asking what kind of undertrousers an old minish like me uses. I think I'll just open the old mysterious minish-pocket-dimension of DOOMTM and take out this nice shiny hammer...
From 10th Gear Link104:
"Dear Ezlo,
Will I ever beat the SNES version of Final Fantasy II/IV?"
Just as sure as Gamefreak will find his way out of the mysterious minish-pocket-dimension of DOOMTM! They are, after all the same thing, so doing either would prove no greater a challenge, than oh say, making hair spontaneously combust.
:has someone whisper in ear:
Something smells funny... :Ezlo looks up: AHHH!! My COMB-OVER! PUT IT OUT!! PUT IT OUT!!
From Predator:
"Dear Ezlo,
Did you ever know that you're my hero"
:Slaps predator: I am NOT the father of great big aliens that a certain conspicuous editor 'inconspicuously' decided to create to terrorize all minish-kind.
(As far as you know...)
From Gamefreak
"Dear Ezlo,
Pirates, or ninjas?"
SECRETARY! File this under the 'fanboys of awesome' (AkA Chuck Norris) Folder of DOOMTM!
From Violinist:
"Dear Ezlo, my sister likes Vaati. What should I do?"
Pray that Vaati elopes with my 'not-so-hot Minish Daughter'. That former apprentice of mine can keep her as long as he wants!
From Predator:
"Deer Ezzlow,
mai ingleesh iznt tew god. wut shuld i du"
:slaps predator: GET A JOB AND STOP WASTING MY TAXPAYER MONEY!
(as far as you know, I pay my taxes )with dead monkeys
From Howl:
"Dear Ezlo,
Who is the better voice actor, Nicholas Briggs or Makoto Shink"
Billy West. There, I said it.
From Whocares (again)
"Dear Ezlo,
Who do you think is the Weakest Link"
Simple answer with a not so simple question: How about You?
From Vaati:
"Dear Ezlo,
Where's Waldo? And is Vaati locked up in your closet like Daphne said?"
My-secretary-whom-I-can't-remember-the-name-of is a liar. She will go into the mysterious minish-pocket-dimension of DOOMTM! She will be soon followed by the mysterious Waldo and Vaati. And preceded by Jimmy Hoffa. There to play for eternity... E.T. FOR THE ATARI 2600 OF DOOM!TM
From Predator:
"Dear Ezlo, what got you into the hat-making business in the first place?"
I blame the mysterious Minish God of DOOM!TM
From whocares (again take two)
"Dear Ezlo,
And then... this one time... at band camp... I heard you did something... very graphic. Is this true? (Just say yes or no)"
:uses mighty ezlo powers to send whocares to the mysterious minish-pocket-dimension... OF ETERNAL PERILTM!:
Does that answer your question of DOOMTM?
......
Hmm... :cleans fingernails of DOOMTM:
:has Someone whisper in ear:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE RIAA IS SUING US?! JUST FOR OVERUSING THE DOOMTM symbol?! THIS IS BLASPHEMY! THIS IS MADNESS! THIS_IS_THE-POCKET-DIMENSION-OF-DOOOOOMTM!!!
:promptly sends the RIAA's lawyers to the pocket dimension of Eternal Peril:
And with that, boys and girls, the Almighty Ezlo is done for the day. Now to go sleep for another month or so. Hopefully, by then, the MPAA and RIAA will be off my back. I SWEAR THAT IS NOT MY COMPUTER!!!
(as far as you know...)
Dear Ezlo,
I didn't know you used the Atari 2600 version of "E.T." as a torture device. Wouldn't that be considered "cruel and unusual punishment?" Or have you exploited a loophole of some sort?
[size=-3]P.S. I've heard the Atari 2600 version of Pac-Man is good for torture, too.[/size]
DOOM? u tink we don now hoo u r now?
Dear Ezlo,
If a train leaves Chicago at 12:32 PM, and another leaves New York City at 2:54 AM, then when and where will they cross paths?
Dear Ezlo,
Will JDog ever find a reason to stop making new sites?
Dear Ezlo,
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
Dear Ezlo,
Can i have youre walking stick.
Dear Weetle,
Read the post above you.
Ya I kinda noticed that after I posted let me fix that.
Dear Ezlo,
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
Dear Ezlo,
Can you count to frosted butts? I can.
Dear Ezlo,
Have you ever scored a touchdown during a baseball game?
Dear Ezlo,
What is the average migratory speed of a sparrow?
Dear Biagios Pizza,
Uh, yeah, I want an extra large cheese, with uh, a small peperoni, and uh, some breadsticks on the side.
,olzE raeD
?sdrawkcab daer uoy naC
Dear Ezlo,
If your friend's dad burned you a copy of photoshop and forgot to give you the cerial code, what would you do?
Dear Ezlo,
How many Minish does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Dear ezlo,
what does this say?
Dear Ezzylolo do you own an ipod? You bet you do.
Dear Jdog,
In referendum to your photoshop question, you should download a keygen online.
Dear Ezlo, I'm leaving now, do you know why?
Dear Ezlo,
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
Dear Ezlo,
Do Minish have last names? If they do, what are yours and Vaati's?
Dear Ezlo,
When I grow up I wanna Be Pac-Man. wampa wampa wampa
Dear Ezlo,
Why are you so lame, unlike Aureliano?
Dear Aureliano,
Why do you insist on asking questions like that when you're new here?
It definitely isn't very impressive for your seventh or so post.
You could have PMed me about that dude. First off, my name is not actually Aureliano, I was refering to my character from HA2 (which probably won't make a difference in your book), second, this is simply for comic relief. I have no real feelings of Ezlo being lame, nor do I dislike Ezlo. I'm just going through a hard time and need some laughs. If you want to say something about me to correct me or what not, please just send me a PM and not steer the whole conversation off.
Back on topic:
Dear Ezlo,
You always tell us your old as dirt, but you never told us how old is Vaati. So.....how old?
Dear Ezlo, I sure can be a horrible person some times, can't I?
Dear Ezlo,
May I answer Tacheon's question for you? :P
Quote from: Aureliano on November 07, 2007, 03:39:14 AM
Dear Ezlo,
You always tell us your old as dirt, but you never told us how old is Vaati. So.....how old?
In the original Ask Ezlo in the Community board, Ezlo told us (quote from a question I asked):
A Fluh asksDear Ezlo, How old is Vaati?
Ezlo replies...Very young. Like 15 I believe. Though, in full disclosure, I never did care when his birthday was
Back ontopic:
Dear Ezlo,
How small are baby Minish. I say the size of your thumbnail.
Dear Ezlo,
Are you Pac-Man?
Quote from: Sovelis on July 30, 2007, 07:10:30 AM
but you seem to not to like us evil people, Is it because we have Vaati as a member? Will you join if we get rid of him?
Hey, buster, I'm not leavin'! lol. (P.S. I'm a girl)
Dear Ezlo, Does Daphne bother the crap outta you?
Dear, Ezlo
Does this :-\ look disgusting to you, it does to me.
Dear Ezlo,
Can you hook me up with Zelda? I'll give you Tingle tied up and a fruit basket.....
Dear ezlo,
I will expose the embarrasing photos that are used to force you to work.
Dear Ezlo, I have a crush on video game characters. (including Link.) Is there somthing wrong with me?
Quote from: Violinist on November 14, 2007, 10:05:48 AM
Dear Ezlo, I have a crush on video game characters. (including Link.) Is there somthing wrong with me?
We have SO much to discuss! :)
Dear Ezlo, GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!!!
Dear Ezlo, is there somthing wrong with Vaati fangirls, 'cause I'm one.
Dear Ezlo,
I must admit, there are several instances in the Zelda series where I've uttered "I'd tap that..." (ZoMg MiDnA fUrRy LoVe).
Is there something wrong with me?
Quote from: Violinist on November 18, 2007, 03:09:32 PM
Dear Ezlo, is there somthing wrong with Vaati fangirls, 'cause I'm one.
...(Hugs Violinist) ;)
Dear Ezlo, Do you know is there will be a new Zelda game coming out? And if so, what will it be called, what game system will it be on, and when will it come out?
Dear Ezlo, do people really slip on banana peels?
Dear Ezlo,
WHY WONT YOU ANSWER MY CALLS???
Dear Ezlo,
Why are newf-gs so obsessed with marquee text?
:walks into forum:
......
:End oversized commercial Break:
And that children, is why Beer makes a wonderful suppository.
Now before another oversized commercial break (or a certain entertainment strike ensues) ON WITH THE QUESTIONS!
From Twilight Wolf--
"Dear Ezlo,
I didn't know you used the Atari 2600 version of "E.T." as a torture device. Wouldn't that be considered "cruel and unusual punishment?" Or have you exploited a loophole of some sort?
P.S. I've heard the Atari 2600 version of Pac-Man is good for torture, too."
Hollywood will never be able to replicate the success of video games based on movies! NEVER!
Detail must be important in every feature of success! That is why there's no detail in anything. One can only make a whole out of an oversized hole (hopefully from a bigger hole than the tank society has set up against entertainment)
Not that they haven't already tried...
PS - See detail clause above. And Pac-man will never be as successful as the Mario Bros. Movie! NEVER!
From Link--
"DOOM? u tink we don now hoo u r now?"
The almighty Ezlo has nothing to hide. Just pay no attention to the man behind the curtain Cap of DOOMtm! Maybe then, I'll have you, my pretty! And your precious doggy too!
:blinks:
Did I black out just now?
From Whocares--
"Dear Ezlo,
If a train leaves Chicago at 12:32 PM, and another leaves New York City at 2:54 AM, then when and where will they cross paths?"
You forgot one simple detail... where do the trains keep the speed? Surely, a train must have much Speed! Now if only I could find some...
From Big Daddy--
"Dear Ezlo,
Will JDog ever find a reason to stop making new sites?"
There is no way a person won't find a reason to hack jdog's sites. It is the harmony of the universe. That and Karma. Never forget the Karma. Just don't let it run over your Dogma.
From Whocares--
"Dear Ezlo,
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"
You dare tempt the almighty Ezlo with a Klondike Bar?
:WHACK!:
What? I didn't steal his Klondike Bar... Karma stole it. Then Karma smiled with fortune and gave the bar to me. Ignore the bloodstains, children, remember... KARMA.
From Weetle--
"Dear Ezlo,
Can i have youre walking stick."
But that ain't my walking stick! That's all I have for an arm! Do you want me to cut off my arm, man?!
From Commodore Sororitas--
"Dear Ezlo,
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"
See question and answer a little up. It was all karma.
From Big Daddy--
"Dear Ezlo,
Can you count to frosted butts? I can."
Egads! if a drinking man can count to frosted butter, then how long do we have before the world ends?! Oh wait... looks like.... five years, seventeen days. hmm...
From MagmarFire--
"Dear Ezlo,
Have you ever scored a touchdown during a baseball game?"
The Almighty Ezlo actually used to be the goalie for the Redskins before our pitcher got fired for a full-body check in the twelfth inning. And Ezlo has no idea why the narrative person keeps changing...
From Link--
"Dear Biagios Pizza,
Uh, yeah, I want an extra large cheese, with uh, a small peperoni, and uh, some breadsticks on the side."
Hello, this is Mr. Sexy's pizza. Oh, you wanted some of that?
......
:leaves phone and area, both are now officially bio-disaster zones:
From Big Daddy--
,olzE raeD"
"?sdrawkcab daer uoy naC
nac I ,seY
?dnelB ti lliw tuB
From JDog--
"Dear Ezlo,
If your friend's dad burned you a copy of photoshop and forgot to give you the cerial code, what would you do?"
Gonna have to side with Big Daddy this time. Just don't tell the MPAA or RIAA. Grampa Ezlo is in hiding... as knowledge is becoming forbidden.
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
How many Minish does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
An infinite, they'll never be able to reach the bloody thing! They do'na have da powar!
From Link--
"Dear Ezzylolo do you own an ipod? You bet you do."
SHH! Do you want the RIAA to hear about this? Not that they were very successful to begin with...
From Big Daddy--
"Dear Ezlo, I'm leaving now, do you know why?"
Yes... And I salute your bravery at... Wait, weren't you just here?
From Whocares--
"Dear Ezlo,
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
Let's see, I'm neither Tortoise or Owl... But I'll take it anyway... a-one, a-two... a-three... HOLY HELL! THAT THING IS HUGE!
(Remember Children, Ezlo is still a tiny old man)
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
Do Minish have last names? If they do, what are yours and Vaati's?"
If Vaati has a last name, there is no reason that I'm not related to him by some weird combination of random incest and animal fetishes.
From Weetle--
"Dear Ezlo,
When I grow up I wanna Be Pac-Man. wampa wampa wampa"
Despite that statement not being a question I... Why am I doing this again?
From Aureliano--
"Dear Ezlo,
Why are you so lame, unlike Aureliano?"
But you say you are not actually Aureliano... Who is Aureliano, and why are they not lame when I am? WHY?!
From Big Daddy--
"Dear Aureliano,
Why do you insist on asking questions like that when you're new here?
It definitely isn't very impressive for your seventh or so post."
:points out lack of green stars on Big Daddy's part:
Who are you and why do you care again?
From Big Daddy--
"Dear Ezlo, I sure can be a horrible person some times, can't I?"
Yes, yes you can.
From MagmarFire--
"Dear Ezlo,
May I answer Tacheon's question for you? ><"
What's this? Could this mean... That I'm more important for once? GO ME!
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
How small are baby Minish. I say the size of your thumbnail."
They're smaller than Karma but Bigger than Dogma, does that help?
From Weetle--
"Dear Ezlo,
Are you Pac-Man?"
If I was, then would that mean that you wanted to be me when you grew up? How flattering.
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo, Does Daphne bother the crap outta you?"
Who are you and why do you speak of an unknown 'Daphne' again?
From Weetle--
"Dear, Ezlo
Does this :-\ look disgusting to you, it does to me."
I see nothing wrong with eating flowers, rice, cakes, orflowery cakes of rice.
From Aureliano--
"Dear Ezlo,
Can you hook me up with Zelda? I'll give you Tingle tied up and a fruit basket....."
I keep Zelda, you keep Tingle away from me... EVERYBODY WINS!
What was it about fruit baskets again?
From Weetle--
"Dear ezlo,
I will expose the embarrasing photos that are used to force you to work."
Is that a bad thing, or a good thing? And how did you get ahold of then anyho--
Photos? What Photos?
:Slits Weetle's Throat:
Ahem... nothing to see here, folks... Just another case of a plot device taking care of itself... yep, nothing to see...
From Violinist--
"Dear Ezlo, I have a crush on video game characters. (including Link.) Is there somthing wrong with me?"
Nope, nothing wrong... Just as there's nothing wrong with a nice hot soak with my estranged minish daughter.
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo, GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!!!"
But what about the rest of me? Do you want me to cut off my butt and send it to you via Snail Mail?! That thing I sit on?! I'm little more than a feeble old minish!
From Violinist--
"Dear Ezlo, is there somthing wrong with Vaati fangirls, 'cause I'm one."
There's nothing wrong with worshipping the guy who captured me and turned me into a hat. Yep, normal everyday idol behavior at work.
From Big Daddy--
"Dear Ezlo,
I must admit, there are several instances in the Zelda series where I've uttered "I'd tap that..." (ZoMg MiDnA fUrRy LoVe).
Is there something wrong with me?"
:goes off to urbandictionary.com:
......
:returns:
STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU SICKO!
But why not stay for a little tea... Who were you again?
Whoo.... All those questions have left the almighty Ezlo tired... Looks like I'll be taking another nap. And wake up hopefully before the world ends. Not that it would matter either way. But I will awaken from my slumber, after all... I MUST WATCH _________!
As Ezlo's spokesman (Yes I have other jobs), I would like to say that thanks to the Writing Guild strike in Hollywood, this was all pure Ezlo. Ezlo had to ad lib all these questions.
...I'd rather have Jimmy Kimmel, thanks. :P
Dear Ezlo,
The latest member who joined this forum is lipsexperry. You're old and have experience; Could you please tell us what 'lip sex' is?
Dear Ezlo,
How often do you play with fire and gasoline at the same time?
Dear Ezlo,
It's obvious that you're the greatest thing to happen to gaming. Is it possible that the new Zelda 08 game will be centered around you?
Dear ezlo,
Do you know what pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is? i do
Weetle, I actually know that off the top of my head. No lie.
It's the scientific term for black lung. :P
And yeah, I did just ruin your question.
Dear Ezlo,
Why are you so violent? Did Daphne make you mad?
Dear Ezlo,
Can you talk to fish? And if so, what do they say?
Dear Ezlo,
Who is Daphne?
Dear Ezlo,
WHOOPS! WRONG ADDRESS! ???
Dear Ezlo,
What energy unit is defined as the heat required to raise one kilogram of water by one degree celsuis?
Dear Ezlo,
How many, um...CALORIES...*wink* *wink* *wink* have you lost in the past few days? ;)
(Killing two birds with one stone, FTW!)
Dear Ezlo,
Now that the main site is being answered more frequently, will this portion of the forums still be used? :D
Dear Ezlo,
Was your name Lazlo(w) in another life? Or did you just legally change it? I know it was Lazlo(w) once! We all know!!!
Your Back-Stabbing-No-Longer-Apprentice,
Vaati
Dear Ezlo,
Will I ever recieve the recommended dosage of sanity?
Hey Ezlo, does Saria where hairdye?or is green her natural hair-
color?if its dye
1.how'd she get it?
2.what brand is it?
Ezlo--
what if x=x+1?
Dear Ezlo,
What is 1xXjj7.35h=??
Dear Ezlo, what is the life span of a Minish and how many calories are in a pound of fat?
Dear Ezlo,
How many triangles does a side have?
Dear Ezlo,
Where's the beef? ;)
Dear Ezlo.
Dear Ezlo....
Want a beef jerkey?! ;D
Dear Ezlo,
If you answer this letter in three seconds, I'll give you a thousand rupees! Oh well! Too late!
Dear Ezlo, do you like bacon?If so, do you have an obssession with it atleast once a day?
Dear Ezlo,
What heavier, a tone of feathers or a tone of bricks? :D
If you answer this in 4 seconds you win a bag of rupees and chocolate - o! Oh! well!! ^^ More for mee!!! :D
Copycat! (lol, just kidding)
Dear Ezlo,
Are your ears burning? 'Cause Daphne's saying stuff about you...BAD things. I'll tell you if you give me sugar. :)
Quote from: o0Zelda0o on March 27, 2008, 05:22:22 AM
Dear Ezlo,
What heavier, a tone of feathers or a tone of bricks? :D
If you answer this in 4 seconds you win a bag of rupees and chocolate - o! Oh! well!! ^^ More for mee!!! :D
Tones have no weight.
I win!
I think she means "tonne", i.e. the metric ton.
Saber still wins.
I wasn't trying to be witty there, I was being entirely serious.
Sorry, but he still wins.
Um.
Dear Ezlo.
It's like... April Fools day, and stuff.
So, um.
April Fools.
Sincerely,
Tacheon Alexander Black
(bad jokester and professional emo)
Dear Ezlo,
.......
.......
.......
.............WHAT!?
hello Ezlo.
i was wondering if you could help me with this annoying glitch i've found in my copy of Majora's Mask. in the stone tower there is a room missing. i've looked up some guides and they all say that when you go through the door behind the sun block that you get rid of by redlevting the light on it from the mirror you charge light up in in the room with loads of water, you go to a room with a pillar that you can knock down as a goron, but when i go through this door it just leads me back to the entrance room.
please help me with this but it's ok if you don't know since it's a glitch.
Dear Ezlo, do you think I'd make a good mod?
From Awesome Ninja--
"Dear Ezlo,
The latest member who joined this forum is lipsexperry. You're old and have experience; Could you please tell us what 'lip sex' is?"
...I'm not old, I'm young at heart! :grumble grumble:
I do believe that is the act of two lips copulating, if I remember correctly.
From MagmarFire--
"Dear Ezlo,
How often do you play with fire and gasoline at the same time? "
Ah, that reminds me of my days on Team Fortress 2...
:lost in reminiscence:
Sorry, what was the question?
From Gamefreak--
"Dear Ezlo,
It's obvious that you're the greatest thing to happen to gaming. Is it possible that the new Zelda 08 game will be centered around you?"
I'm not giving anything away, but let's just say that Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland was going to be 'Ezlo's Rosy Rupeeland' originally... but I turned it down. People already made enough gay jokes about me riding Link.
From Mr. bubbles--
"Dear ezlo,
Do you know what pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is? i do"
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a diseases, commonly found in coal miners, from a buildup of silicate dust in their lungs. Hence, as EVE suggested, it's other name 'Black Lung'.
(see, I can be serious)
From Colonel Aureliano Buenida--
"Dear Ezlo,
Why are you so violent? Did Daphne make you mad?"
No, I just refuse to take my meds.
get that needle away from me
From Peka--
"Dear Ezlo,
Can you talk to fish? And if so, what do they say?"
Can you talk to fish? No?
I didn't think so
From EVE--
"Dear Ezlo,
Who is Daphne?"
Freddy's crush on Scooby Doo.
From MagmarFire--
"Dear Ezlo,
WHOOPS! WRONG ADDRESS! ><"
I DIDN'T ORDER THIS PIZZA AND I REFUSE TO PAY FOR IT
[size=1/16]Say, is that pepperoni?[/size]
From Mr. bubbles--
"Dear Ezlo,
What energy unit is defined as the heat required to raise one kilogram of water by one degree celsuis?"
What do you think this is, Jeopardy?
Answer: a calorie
From MagmarFire--
"Dear Ezlo,
How many, um...CALORIES...*wink* *wink* *wink* have you lost in the past few days?
(Killing two birds with one stone, FTW!) "
Asking one one's weight is impolite.
From EVE--
"Dear Ezlo,
Now that the main site is being answered more frequently, will this portion of the forums still be used? ^_^"
Wouldn't it have been closed otherwise?
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
Was your name Lazlo(w) in another life? Or did you just legally change it? I know it was Lazlo(w) once! We all know!!!
Your Back-Stabbing-No-Longer-Apprentice,
Vaati"
Did you NOT receive the restraining order?
From Colonel Aureliano Buenida--
"Dear Ezlo,
Will I ever recieve the recommended dosage of sanity?"
...what is this sanity you speak of?
From Zane the SC LoZ--
"Hey Ezlo, does Saria where hairdye?or is green her natural hair-
color?if its dye
1.how'd she get it?
2.what brand is it?"
She's actually blonde, she just visits the pool often. Chlorine tinges blond hair green.
From EVE--
"Ezlo--
what if x=x+1?"
(Elephant)(Banana)Sin (Theta)
From o0Zelda0o--
"Dear Ezlo,
What is 1xXjj7.35h=??"
That is my Social Securities Number, how did you get ahold of it?
From Peka--
"Dear Ezlo, what is the life span of a Minish and how many calories are in a pound of fat?"
Minish live for exactly ten seconds after they hear the possibility of them dying. Also, there are exactly-- :dies:
From EVE--
"Dear Ezlo,
How many triangles does a side have?"
Are you trying to give me an aneurysm?
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
Where's the beef? ^_^"
I thought you had it!
:searches for beef:
From EVE--
"Dear Ezlo."
Dear EVE.
From o0Zelda0o--
"Dear Ezlo....
Want a beef jerkey?!"
I have a wife for that, thank you.
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
If you answer this letter in three seconds, I'll give you a thousand rupees! Oh well! Too late!"
You always manage to make me cry, oh bitter disciple.
From iLawliet--
"Dear Ezlo, do you like bacon?If so, do you have an obssession with it atleast once a day"
Little known fact: I actually invented bacon.
From o0Zelda0o--
"Dear Ezlo,
What heavier, a tone of feathers or a tone of bricks?
If you answer this in 4 seconds you win a bag of rupees and chocolate - o! Oh! well!! ^^ More for mee!!!"
I wasn't aware that sounds had weight.
And WHY MUST YOU ALL BE SO CRUEL
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
Are your ears burning? 'Cause Daphne's saying stuff about you...BAD things. I'll tell you if you give me sugar."
What? I can't hear you over this burning in my ears.
From EVE--
"Um.
Dear Ezlo.
It's like... April Fools day, and stuff.
So, um.
April Fools.
Sincerely,
Tacheon Alexander Black
(bad jokester and professional emo)"
ARGH YA BEAT MEH
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
.......
.......
.......
.............WHAT!?"
Yes, me too.
From blue_darkling--
"hello Ezlo.
i was wondering if you could help me with this annoying glitch i've found in my copy of Majora's Mask. in the stone tower there is a room missing. i've looked up some guides and they all say that when you go through the door behind the sun block that you get rid of by redlevting the light on it from the mirror you charge light up in in the room with loads of water, you go to a room with a pillar that you can knock down as a goron, but when i go through this door it just leads me back to the entrance room.
please help me with this but it's ok if you don't know since it's a glitch."
I've never heard of this, "Majora's Mask". Is it a band?
From EVE--
"Dear Ezlo, do you think I'd make a good mod?"
Do you really want me to answer?
----------------------
Well, 'tis a pleasure to be back in your service. Sorry for my absence, I had to purchase a new walking stick. This is hard when the nearest town's a hundred miles away and you're without a walking stick.
Dear ezlo, am i the master of spam, randomness, and cheese?
If you question it, then chances are, no.
Dear Ezlo:
What happens when the Minish Woods floods?
Dear ezlo: Do you watch the TV show called the office?? I think you should. :D
Dear Ezlo, if you don't call me the master of cheese then i'll kill you! >:( *drools all over the place with a maniacle grin*
Dear Ezlo,
I'm back! Remember? You locked me in the hallway closet and didn't let me out for two days?! >:(
~Vaati
Dear ezlo: am I sexy??? ;D
From Shadow Goris--
"Dear ezlo, am i the master of spam, randomness, and cheese?"
Apparently you are the master of spam! So much so that you've been recognized with a nice, shiny banning. As for the cheese, it depends which type. I myself am the master of Limburger.
From Zelda Veteran--
"Dear Ezlo:
What happens when the Minish Woods floods? "
The Minish Woods are flooding?! Oh no, I've got to go! WOMEN AND HEADGEAR FIRST!!!
From Link's Nobody--
"Dear ezlo: Do you watch the TV show called the office?? I think you should. ^_^"
Er, I'm sure I would if I had a TV. Have you ever played a game called stickball? It's easy! All you need it a ball, a stick, and pocket full of dreams...
From Shadow Goris--
"Dear Ezlo, if you don't call me the master of cheese then i'll kill you! *drools all over the place with a maniacle grin*"
You heard it, ladies and gentlemen, he threatened me first. Deadly force is now authorized... *smacks cane against other hand*
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
I'm back! Remember? You locked me in the hallway closet and didn't let me out for two days?!
~Vaati"
Did I now? I thought that was someone else, my apologies!
[size=1/16]no wonder I didn't have to pay you afterward...[/size] *snaps to attention*
Eh, what?
From Link's Nobody--
"Dear ezlo: am I sexy??? :D"
pics plz
----------------------
Well, I managed to arrive back from town more quickly than I had expected, so I figured I might as well answer your questions more quickly than usual!
Until next time!
??? how do i get back to the dark world after porting to the light one, i think i have dun the boss in the dessert..but i dont have a crystal, so i dunoo :S
From morbidfaith--
" ??? how do i get back to the dark world after porting to the light one, i think i have dun the boss in the dessert..but i dont have a crystal, so i dunoo :S"
First off, I'm assuming that you're talking about A Link to the Past. Wow, it's been a long time since I've gotten a serious question. <_<
There are many portals in Light Hyrule that send you to the Dark Realm. They are hidden under rocks and in secret rooms. If you are on the mountain, and have already been to the Dark Ream once, then chances are you got back to Light Hyrule via the Magic Mirror. Make sure you use the Magic Mirror in the right spot at the right time once you go to the Dark Realm-- otherwise you're forced to go back to where the original portal was through which you entered the Dark Realm in the first place.
arghh well on my map it said tht my portal i made is in the mountains, but its the one where u stand on tht blue squre when ur on the mountails, n then u got to the dark world where tht lil ball is, and i cant get to the rest of the map from there :( i have the mirror obv. and where is light hyrul ^_^ i dont really kno the names of things :P
Would someone kindly translate that into English?
haha sorry :P k first, is light hyrule the big lake? anndd my shiney portal into the dark world is on the mountain, but when i go through it, im in the place with the two characters, the ball man and the other man, and i cant get to the rest of the map from there
Ah, that makes more sense.
Light Hyrule is, quite simply, whatever is not the Dark World. It is the place where you spend essentially the first half of the game.
Look at the world before you go into the portal carefully. Think about the fact that every step you take in the Dark Realm is a step in the Light Realm as well. So wherever if you're in the Dark Realm and take three steps left, one step up, and then you use the Magic Mirror, you'll find yourself exactly three steps left and one step up from where you initially entered the portal. Make sense?
So when you enter into the Dark Realm, you want to make it so that when you re-enter the Light Realm, you end up on top of whatever obstacle is preventing you from getting to the Tower.
yea it all makes sence..but it doesnt solve my problem, anyway u kno u said about there bieng portal type things under rocks in hyrule to the dark world, r they random or a set few places?
Ah, sorry I didn't make myself more clear. I just hate spoiling things. There's a little ridge preventing you from going to the north of where the bully and his 'ball' are playing in the Dark Realm. Stand by there-- on the part where the ground is lighter (at least, I remember it being lighter), and use the mirror. Then you should be atop a ledge in Light Hyrule that you couldn't get on before. From there, simply jump to the north and you've got access to the tower.
And the locations are set for the portals.
yup dun all of tht, done the boss ect got the master sword, been to the dark world, killed the 1st boss in the dessert, i think but then i went back into the light world, and i cant get back into the dark world and wander around the whole of the map, i can get back to the place with the ball man ect
...oh. Oh, I see. *smacks self*
Try going through the main gate of Hyrule Castle-- the one that was blocked at the beginning of the game.
haha yeye ty :) god so simple, im a rtard :P ::)
Dear Ezlo,
Did you want fries with that?
Ezlo! What does the scouter say about his power level?!?
hello again. level 4 the theives tomb thing with the titens mits, i go pick up the girl, but where do i take her? she didnt want to go outside from the front, is there a back way?
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
Did you want fries with that? "
You are cruel and diabolical. You KNOW they go straight to my hips... ugh, fine. Just a medium, though.
From Gamefreak--
"Ezlo! What does the scouter say about his power level?!?"
WHAT?!
It's... OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!
From morbidfaith--
"hello again. level 4 the theives tomb thing with the titens mits, i go pick up the girl, but where do i take her? she didnt want to go outside from the front, is there a back way?"
Be sure to explore the entire level. She doesn't want to leave the temple because she doesn't like sunlight, right? Is there any way that you can make sunlight shine inside the temple-- in a part she can get to?
Hello Ezlo, I was wondering if there was anyway to make this alien spawn stop ripping from my chest
*alien spawn rips through chest*
gahgahoa;hjoig
*dies*
Dear Ezlo,
I still got your hat! (http://haayls.deviantart.com/art/Vaati-Holding-the-Hat-73136021) :P Hardy har har!
Also, I'm having a hard time finding the ketchup...which cupboard is it in?
Your Betraying, No-Longer Apprentice,
Vaati
DearEzlo,
(http://i3.piczo.com/view/2/a/5/c/k/p/y/o/d/0/m/9/img/i202221928_72310_4.gif)
Why?! WHY?!!!!
Your Master,
~HylianHero92~
Deer Ezlo,
I herd u liek mudkipz. Do u liek mudkipz?
Well, my children, it's time once again for me to answer your questions. By the way, what's the new forum description implying...? 8)
From Takun--
"Hello Ezlo, I was wondering if there was anyway to make this alien spawn stop ripping from my chest
*alien spawn rips through chest*
gahgahoa;hjoig
*dies*"
Well, I find the best way is to just
*alien spawn rips through chest*
aaaaaaagggggghhhhhh
From Vaati--
"Dear Ezlo,
I still got your hat! (http://haayls.deviantart.com/art/Vaati-Holding-the-Hat-73136021) :P Hardy har har!
Also, I'm having a hard time finding the ketchup...which cupboard is it in?
Your Betraying, No-Longer Apprentice,
Vaati"
That's actually okay, purple's not necessarily my color anyhow.
From HylianHero92--
"DearEzlo,
(http://i3.piczo.com/view/2/a/5/c/k/p/y/o/d/0/m/9/img/i202221928_72310_4.gif)
Why?! WHY?!!!!
Your Master,
~HylianHero92~"
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
:erm:
my apologies, I thought your hair was a bunch of bananas.
From Gamefreak--
"Deer Ezlo,
I herd u liek mudkipz. Do u liek mudkipz?"
Why, I've been asked this question before. Is that some sort of 'street' term for an illegal drug? I can have you arrested for that, young man.
Well, with that, I'm off again!
*jumps into the Minishmobile*
Dear Ezlo,
WHERE. IS. SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!1?//?
Dear Ezlo,
Why you no like Vaati after he apologize and offer Master many presents? :'(
Dear Ezlo,
Will you vote Santa in 2012?
Dear Ezlo,
How do you feel about Gamefreak/Ezlo 2012?
Dear ezlo,
Do you watch Whose Line is it Anyway? What's your favorite game/player?
Dear Ezlo,
I'm running against you and Gamefreak for the 2012 election.
Vaati/Santa 2012 for an eviller America!!! >:D
Dear Ezlo,
Is there any hope?
Dear Ezlo,
Can you get Link to stab that stupid dog that poops in our yard in the neck?
Dear Ezlo,
If a train leaves a station in Miami at 4:00, going 60 mph, and heads north, and another train leaves a station in New York City at 11:00, going 50 mph, and heads south, what time will dinner be done?
Dear Ezlo,
Can I have your house.
Dear Ezlo,
Do you have a portal gun? What do you use it for?
Dear Ezlo,
If you could, would you be Link's scarf, too? *snicker*
Dear Ezlo,
Can you make me a hat like Link's? :)
Dear Ezlo,
If a train traveling at 60 mph leaves NY at 3:00 p.m, and I'm standing in the way of the tracks with my Portal Gun, when will I shoot it?
Dear Ezlo,
Why won't they release the tingle RPG? I want it!... Uh... So i can make him lose...?
Dear Ezlo,
WHERE R U?
Dear Ezlo
I know how old you are ezlo, you put it in your profile. MWAHAHAHAHA
Quote from: linkdragon0 on January 03, 2009, 12:41:41 PM
Dear Ezlo,
Why won't they release the tingle RPG? I want it!... Uh... So i can make him lose...?
Yeah, yeah, I'm not Ezlo. But they did; in Japan and Europe.
I mean over here!!!! :( :'( :( :'( :( :'(
Also
Dear ezlo
How do you spell your name?
I'm not Ezlo, either, but you could always import it from Europe. It'll play on your DS with no problem, and it should be in English.
Okey dokes....
Dear Ezlo,
Why do the weird unicorns on Charlie the Unicorn inflate like they do in CtU2?
Dear Ezlo,
Wo bist du??? Komme aus! Are you hiding just 'cause there's someone named Vaati here?
Yeah thats it!
Dear Ezlo,
Don't hate why don't you appreciate?
can you explain this?
(http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s227/linkheroofhyrule/PokopenMKI.jpg)
Dear Ezlo:
Who is Dr. Orpheus?
Dear Ezlo,
Why are you gay?... *thinks for a second* oh. :o
Any and all questions regarding my disappearance:
You try getting chased around by those cursed creatures known as dogs all day and see when you have time to answer all of these petty questions!
"Dear Ezlo,
WHERE. IS. SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!1?//?"
In the Land of Overused Memes.
"Dear Ezlo,
Will you vote Santa in 2012?
Dear Ezlo,
How do you feel about Gamefreak/Ezlo 2012?
Dear Ezlo,
I'm running against you and Gamefreak for the 2012 election.
Vaati/Santa 2012 for an eviller America!!! >:D"
Haven't you young'uns heard? The world is going to end in 2012, so it doesn't matter who runs for World Dictator.
:someone whispers in ear:
There's no World Dictator? They were talking about the President of the United States?
Well, as I will be the only person to survive, I'll call my office whatever I want.
"Dear Ezlo,
If a train leaves a station in Miami at 4:00, going 60 mph, and heads north, and another train leaves a station in New York City at 11:00, going 50 mph, and heads south, what time will dinner be done?"
This question cannot be solved as you forgot to tell me which city I am in.
"Dear Ezlo,
Can I have your house."
Just as soon as you can shrink yourself down to my size and claim the deed from my Labyrinth of Death.
"Dear Ezlo,
If a train traveling at 60 mph leaves NY at 3:00 p.m, and I'm standing in the way of the tracks with my Portal Gun, when will I shoot it?"
At the last possible minute to maximize the suspense. Now excuse me while I dispose of you for not knowing the answer to this simple question.
"Dear Ezlo,
Don't hate why don't you appreciate?
can you explain this?"
(http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s227/linkheroofhyrule/PokopenMKI.jpg)
I don't appreciate because I suffer from having an inferior secretary.
As for the frog-headed gentleman, I would assume faulty breeding explains his abominable existence.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why are you gay?... *thinks for a second* oh. :o"
Those are slanderous lies!
Dear Ezlo,
omgwtfbbq
Dear Ezlo,
What religion are you and Vaati (not me)? Is it a special Minish religion or just some crazy cult?
Dear Ezlo,
I have buch of questions. Here ya go:
-What color does a smurf turn when you choke it? :P
-Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? ::)
-Why do croutons come in airtight packages when it's just stale bread to begin with? ::)
-Why is it that if someone tells you that there are a billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? ;)
-Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites? :-\
-Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? ???
-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? ::)
-If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? :D
-Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? ;)
::) this is a serious one:
-Do mermaids birth thier babies, or do they lay eggs? :-\
Dear Ezlo,
Many questions as well:
A.) Can I call you grasshopper? 'Cause you're green like one.
B.) What happens when you give a pig a pancake?
C.) Is there any reason why you and Tetra have the same hairstyle?
D.) How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
E.) For Ezlo.
F.) "Dear Deku Tree" challenges you.
Quote from: ZeldafreaK on February 03, 2009, 04:04:08 PM
-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? ::)
Reminds me of how my dad said when we pulled up to a drive-up ATM "If you need to use audio assistance for the vision impaired, then shouldn't you not be driving?" ???
Quote from: Vaati on February 11, 2009, 02:02:39 PM
Quote from: ZeldafreaK on February 03, 2009, 04:04:08 PM
-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? ::)
Reminds me of how my dad said when we pulled up to a drive-up ATM "If you need to use audio assistance for the vision impaired, then shouldn't you not be driving?" ???
I know thats wierd right?! ???
And also dear ezlo,
Why did the cucco cross the road? ::)
And also ezlo you would look good in a foh hawk but Im not sure how to spell it. How do you spell foh hawk? ???
It's either Faux Hawk or Fohawk
Dear Ezlo:
Why wont you answer my question.
Dear Ezlo,
Why are people so impatient? :)
Quote from: ZeldafreaK on February 03, 2009, 04:04:08 PM
Dear Ezlo,
I have buch of questions. Here ya go:
-What color does a smurf turn when you choke it? :P
-Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? ::)
-Why do croutons come in airtight packages when it's just stale bread to begin with? ::)
-Why is it that if someone tells you that there are a billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? ;)
-Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites? :-\
-Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? ???
-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? ::)
-If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? :D
-Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? ;)
::) this is a serious one:
-Do mermaids birth thier babies, or do they lay eggs? :-\
Dear Ezlo,
How could
all the best questions ever fit into one post?
Dear Ezlo,
Why don't you have a signature? Is it because you cant think of what to put? Or is it because the one you want davy jones said was too bloody? ???
For me its a bit of both. :(
Dear Ezlo,
Why does the word "unisex" mean "suitable for both sexes" if the prefix "uni" is Latin for "one?"
Dear Ezlo,
If you put a cat in a soundproof, lightproof box with a neuropoison and fire an electron from a particle accelerator with a spin of +.01 and don't open the box, Is the cat dead?
I WANNA SEE YOU ANSWER THAT!
Dear Ezlo,
Is Chuckinator even sane?
I can answer that myself.
No!
"Dear Ezlo,
omgwtfbbq"
i no rite
"Dear Ezlo,
What religion are you and Vaati (not me)? Is it a special Minish religion or just some crazy cult?"
We follow a religion that I am not at liberty to discuss with non-believers. Rest assured, it is not a cult; those I lead myself.
"Dear Ezlo,
I have buch of questions. Here ya go:
-What color does a smurf turn when you choke it?
-Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
-Why do croutons come in airtight packages when it's just stale bread to begin with?
-Why is it that if someone tells you that there are a billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
-Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites?
-Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
-If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
-Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
this is a serious one:
-Do mermaids birth thier babies, or do they lay eggs?"
-A darker and lovelier shade of blue.
-Because making "abbreviation" a short word would have been plain ridiculous.
-Because moisture will turn it back into fresh bread.
-Because you can touch the wet paint; the billion stars you can't.
-Because the sole purpose of the English language is to confound you.
-Are you saying you have never lost yourself to the beat of music?
-That's just in case a drunk guy is directing the blind guy.
-No. Water would. A cow doesn't drink milk; it makes milk.
-Only if the mime isn't miming a sound-proof box.
-If the mermaid has a bellybutton, she didn't come from an egg; if she doesn't have a bellybutton, she came from an egg.
"Dear Ezlo,
Many questions as well:
A.) Can I call you grasshopper? 'Cause you're green like one.
B.) What happens when you give a pig a pancake?
C.) Is there any reason why you and Tetra have the same hairstyle?
D.) How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
E.) For Ezlo.
F.) "Dear Deku Tree" challenges you."
A.) Only if you wish to die a very painful death.
B.) You give a pig a pancake. Do I look like a farmer to you?
C.) She's always copying what I do.
D.) It takes one to screw in the lightbulb, and several others to complain that they didn't.
E.) For you.
F.) I accept. I'll meet him in the fields behind the school at sundown.
"And also dear ezlo,
Why did the cucco cross the road?
And also ezlo you would look good in a foh hawk but Im not sure how to spell it. How do you spell foh hawk?"
To attack the Minish on the other side; that's how Librari got those feathers.
It's fro-hawk, and no I wouldn't. Don't talk about what you don't know.
"Dear Ezlo:
Why wont you answer my question."
Could it have something to do with the fact that you put them in the form of a statement and not a question?
"Dear Ezlo,
Why don't you have a signature? Is it because you cant think of what to put? Or is it because the one you want davy jones said was too bloody?
For me its a bit of both."
I am far too cool to have a signature.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why does the word "unisex" mean "suitable for both sexes" if the prefix "uni" is Latin for "one?""
Again, because the sole purpose of the English language is to confound you.
"Dear Ezlo,
If you put a cat in a soundproof, lightproof box with a neuropoison and fire an electron from a particle accelerator with a spin of +.01 and don't open the box, Is the cat dead?
I WANNA SEE YOU ANSWER THAT!"
If you don't put in any food and don't open the box to feed the cat, the cat is dead either way. Why did Schrödinger have a problem with this?
EZLO IS A GENIUS! I WILL SEND HIS ANSWER TO MY QUESTION TO THE MOST RENOWNED SCIENCE INSTITUTES YOU'LL WIN THE PEACE PRIZE MAN!
Okay but how about this? if x is equal to pi divided by pi then what is cake?
Dear Ezlo,
Did you steal my brain? I can't seem to find it, and, having no brain, I don't know if I misplaced it or if someone stole it.
Dear Ezlo,
Other than made up games and Zelda games (if any) What kind of games do you play can I have their names?
What? Only three questions? I finally get rid of that annoying dog so I can have a more regular schedule, and you whippersnappers run out on questions on me? Maybe I can get those photos and the negatives back from Jack and go back into retirement.
"Dear Ezlo,
EZLO IS A GENIUS! I WILL SEND HIS ANSWER TO MY QUESTION TO THE MOST RENOWNED SCIENCE INSTITUTES YOU'LL WIN THE PEACE PRIZE MAN!
Okay but how about this? if x is equal to pi divided by pi then what is cake?"
Red velvet.
"Dear Ezlo,
Did you steal my brain? I can't seem to find it, and, having no brain, I don't know if I misplaced it or if someone stole it."
I do not steal brains. I merely explode them with my sheer intelligence. You probably misplaced it; I highly doubt your brain is worth stealing. After all, it isn't my brain.
"Dear Ezlo,
Other than made up games and Zelda games (if any) What kind of games do you play can I have their names?"
We Minish play a more cutthroat version of poker. I would explain the rules to you, but it would take all month.
Dear Ezlo,
This sentence is a lie. Am I telling the truth or a lie?
dear Ezlo
Why don't people ask you more questions you're a genius.
-Chuck
Dear Ezlo,
Um okay how do i find log4 53 using only the calculator that my Algebra II teacher gave me? I can only figure out how to do the log10 of things but that doesnt help me. :-[
Dear Ezlo,
How come this is not a question.
Dear Ezlo,
Are you going to be in spirit tracks? Oh and also when does it come out, including delays and everything? ;D
Hey Ezlo,
Can I show you mah Pokeymanz?
Dear Ezlo,
How come nobody will look at this (http://desertcolossus.com/forum/index.php?topic=5884.msg188675#new)?
:( :( :( :(
Quote from: ZeldafreaK on March 29, 2009, 11:33:13 AM
Dear Ezlo,
Um okay how do i find log4 53 using only the calculator that my Algebra II teacher gave me? I can only figure out how to do the log10 of things but that doesnt help me. :-[
Oh, I can answer that.
To find the logarithm with a base other than
e or ten, you need to take the common logarithm (or natural logarithm; either one works) of the number in question (in this case, 53) and divide that by the common logarithm of the original base (in this case, 4). Visually, this is...
log
a A == log
b A / log
b a,
where
a is the original base,
A is the number the base must be equal to when it is raised to a power, and
b is the new base (preferably ten or
e).
Dear Ezlo,
How do you like my taking over your position? =D
Dear Ezlo,
Why do you find things like this comical? --> (http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u161/Miss_Hayls/Poor-Vaati-snicker.gif)
How is this funny?! Funny like a clown?! Does this amuse you?!
Dear Ezlo,
why did the chicken cross the road? :)
Dear Ezlo,
How do you feel about tailors?
dear ezlo,
vaati has a good question. oh and why did the cat cross the road ::)
Dear Ezlo,
How would you like to team up with Midna? (You'd replace her helmet.) And I'm flooding your inbox on purpose in case you haven't already noticed. >:D
Dear Ezlo,
WHERE ARE YOU AND WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ANYONE'S QUESTIONS?!!!!!!!!!!
I can answer that.
Quote from: HackerHero92 on April 10, 2009, 02:42:38 PM
WHERE ARE YOU?!!!!!!!!!!
He is not online right now. ::)
Quote from: HackerHero92 on April 10, 2009, 02:42:38 PM
WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ANYONE'S QUESTIONS?!!!!!!!!!!
He is not online right now. ::)
Dude its kind of obvious. ;)
Oh and also
Dear Ezlo,
Why did the dog cross the road? ;D
HackerHero92, you don't want to stretch the page like that. ;)
Dear Ezlo, Why does ZeldafreaK ask so many "Why did ____ cross the road?" questions?
"Dear Ezlo,
This sentence is a lie. Am I telling the truth or a lie?"
If the sentence is indeed the truth, the sentence is lying. However, because the sentence is lying, it is telling the truth. And now that it's telling the truth again, it is again lying. And because it is lying, it is really telling the truth.
I would keep on going, but my secretary says I don't have the space for it. So let us move on to the next question.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why don't people ask you more questions you're a genius."
I used to coerce people into asking me questions, but then legal issues arose and I had to stop.
"Dear Ezlo,
How come this is not a question."
Why is this not an answer?
"Dear Ezlo,
Are you going to be in spirit tracks? Oh and also when does it come out, including delays and everything?"
Of course I will be in Spirit Tracks. I am in every Zelda game; you just can't see me.
Including delays and everything, the game will come out in the future.
"Hey Ezlo,
Can I show you mah Pokeymanz?"
...
Is...Is this a sex question?
"Dear Ezlo,
How come nobody will look at this (http://desertcolossus.com/forum/index.php?topic=5884.msg188675#new)?"
Have you tried using subliminal messages?
"Dear Ezlo,
How do you like my taking over your position? =D"
I love it only if you stole those photos from Jack and destroyed them. If not, then stop stealing my job before I am forced to kill you.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why do you find things like this comical? --> (http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u161/Miss_Hayls/Poor-Vaati-snicker.gif)
How is this funny?! Funny like a clown?! Does this amuse you?!"
It amuses me greatly.
"Dear Ezlo,
why did the chicken cross the road?"
If you ask me that question, or a question similar to that, again, I will add your head to my collection of people who have greatly annoyed me.
"Dear Ezlo,
How do you feel about tailors?"
They are an essential member of any community. Why, without them, I would have to go around naked, and everyone would die from my sheer sexiness.
"Dear Ezlo,
How would you like to team up with Midna? (You'd replace her helmet.) And I'm flooding your inbox on purpose in case you haven't already noticed."
I have actually been meaning to talk to her about just that, but she is a hard person to get a hold of.
And flood away, so long as you ask me new questions.
"Dear Ezlo,
WHERE ARE YOU AND WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ANYONE'S QUESTIONS?!!!!!!!!!!"
Well, if you read my profile, you will know that I am in Ezloland.
And it is rather difficult to answer questions when I am not here.
Dear Ezlo,
Why does ZeldafreaK ask so many "Why did ____ cross the road?" questions?"
Because he is under the wrong impression that he is funny.
Hey Ezlo,
I forgot to ask you this question but....
Is Giga Impact an egg move for Buizel if the father is a Feraligatr and the mother is of course a Floatzel?
If you know the answer to this question does that mean you are also a fellow pokemon breeder?
<.<
Dear Ezlo,
Why am I doing this?
Is there anyone you admire in the "Ask _____" industry?
Dear Ezlo,
Quote from: Ask Ezlo on April 24, 2009, 08:36:36 AM
Because he is under the wrong impression that he is funny.
No, I was under the impression that you knew the answers to my "Why did ____ cross the road?" questions... but now I'm under the impression that you dont! :o
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D
And also um... why dont you like my questions? :'(
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(
Why does ZeldafreaK page stretch like this?
Dear Ezlo:
As a sack boy i understand How you feel Being small and unsignificant Now the real question When i kill you do you want to be killed painfully or fast and how would u like to die
"Hey Ezlo,
I forgot to ask you this question but....
Is Giga Impact an egg move for Buizel if the father is a Feraligatr and the mother is of course a Floatzel?
If you know the answer to this question does that mean you are also a fellow pokemon breeder?"
Why do you keep on asking me questions involving sex? Does your school not have a sex ed. class?
What's that? Pokemon is a game? Oh....
Well, I do not know what you're talking about, but I'm sure this thing called the Internet has all the answers you seek.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why am I doing this?"
Because you are doing this.
"Dear Ezlo,
Is there anyone you admire in the "Ask _____" industry?"
Myself, of course.
"Dear Ezlo,
Quote from: Ask Ezlo on April 24, 2009, 08:36:36 AM
Because he is under the wrong impression that he is funny.
No, I was under the impression that you knew the answers to my "Why did ____ cross the road?" questions... but now I'm under the impression that you dont!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And also um... why dont you like my questions? :'(
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The "Why did ____ cross the road?" jokes are so horrendously bad, they ought to be outlawed. As a matter of fact, they are outlawed in Minish society. "Why did ____ cross the road?" is, if anything, an exploration into the psyche of the thing crossing the road, but as it is such a brief event, the actions of the thing would have to be followed for a while longer, and more questions pertaining to the thing to be asked for the explorative exercise to have any real value.
The second reason why I do not like your recent line of questions is because it is, in essence, the same question repeated several times. I have been blackmailed to answer
new questions every month, not the same one.
"Dear Ezlo:
As a sack boy i understand How you feel Being small and unsignificant Now the real question When i kill you do you want to be killed painfully or fast and how would u like to die"
I do not feel
insignificant; after all, I have this job.
And what makes you think you will be able to kill me, when you can barely use proper spelling and grammar? I am more scared of cuccos than I am of you.
Dear Ezlo,
Why did you answer our questions so quickly this time?
Also, might I add, you pwned Sackboy.
Dear Ezlo,
Why so serious?
Dear Ezlo,
Why do I keep coming back to this site?
I don't want to, for real.
It's cause of some people...
Dear Ezlo,
Why does a particular co-worker of mine yell at me when I hold open doors for them as they're walking behind me and call me a "pig" while telling me how they don't need a man to demonstrate their superiority?
Second question, I don't look behind me if I hear someone, I just leave doors open as a curtsy; how can I continue to be polite and respectful but also not incur her wrath? If I check behind me to see if it's her she tends to ask me what I'm looking at and why I have to stare at her.
Third question, if you give me an answer; may I spread said solution around the workplace to my other male colleagues who are equally frustrated by said behaviour?
Thanks.
Dear Almighty Ezlo,
Is Nintendo ever going to release an official timeline for the events of the entire series, or is the series one big, I don't know, plotless, just for kicks chain of stories like Mario?
"Dear Ezlo,
Why did you answer our questions so quickly this time?
Also, might I add, you pwned Sackboy."
I have already explained this; I got rid of that infernal dog that insisted on chasing me and cleared up my schedule so that I can answer your questions, no matter how trivial, once a month.
And it was no less than he deserved for trying to threaten me.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why so serious?"
You obviously haven't seen the photos Jack is blackmailing me with.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why do I keep coming back to this site?
I don't want to, for real.
It's cause of some people..."
Well, I'd say you just answer your own question there.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why does a particular co-worker of mine yell at me when I hold open doors for them as they're walking behind me and call me a "pig" while telling me how they don't need a man to demonstrate their superiority?
Second question, I don't look behind me if I hear someone, I just leave doors open as a curtsy; how can I continue to be polite and respectful but also not incur her wrath? If I check behind me to see if it's her she tends to ask me what I'm looking at and why I have to stare at her.
Third question, if you give me an answer; may I spread said solution around the workplace to my other male colleagues who are equally frustrated by said behaviour?
Thanks."
Understand that I am not a qualified psychiatrist, and what I am about to say should therefore be taken with a grain of salt.
It sounds to me that this woman could be a radical feminist. Perhaps the best thing you can do is try to explain to her that you are merely trying to be polite and that you would hold open the door for anyone, man or woman.
If this woman still yells at you, then just report her to your boss. She obviously does not work well with others. If she is your boss, then you might want to start looking for a new job.
By all means, share my advice! It seems like you wish to be polite to everyone, and it would be quite rude if you hog the advice all to yourself. This is the sort of thing that if it benefits one, it will benefit all. And if enough people complain about this woman, then something surely will be done about her.
"Dear Almighty Ezlo,
Is Nintendo ever going to release an official timeline for the events of the entire series, or is the series one big, I don't know, plotless, just for kicks chain of stories like Mario?"
Why release the official timeline when they can just as easily torment you by withholding such valuable information?
Dear Ezlo,
Can't you just fire Daphne and replace her with me? I have references and everything! :D
Dear Ezlo,
Why the sarcasm?
Dear Ezlo,
Forgive me for asking but, this has been bothering me with curiosity for far too long...How were you able to pee when you were a hat? :-\
Dear Ezlo,
I shall set you aflame in the night.
I...I feel like I should wait for some other whippersnappers to ask me a question. However, the forums being down messed with my schedule.
"Dear Ezlo,
Can't you just fire Daphne and replace her with me? I have references and everything!"
I'm not allowed to fire her. She's my friend's second cousin thrice removed on his step-brother's mother's father's side.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why the sarcasm?"
You try doing this job when you're being blackmailed into it and see how cheerful you can be!
"Dear Ezlo,
Forgive me for asking but, this has been bothering me with curiosity for far too long...How were you able to pee when you were a hat?"
That is a highly personal question!
But since you're so curious and asked so nicely, I'll have you know I only had a nervous system as a hat.
"Dear Ezlo,
I shall set you aflame in the night."
Good luck with that. And by "good luck," I mean such horrible luck that you catch yourself on fire instead.
Dear Ezlo,
Who would win between a ninja, a pirate, or a cow?
Dear Ezlo,
Any advice for how to create a long lasting internet meme?
Deer Ezlo,
Do you bother to read the parts that say Dear Ezlo?
Dear Ezlo,
What requirements are needed to become a mod, if you don't become one by being randomly selected? And why am I asking you?
"Dear Ezlo,
Who would win between a ninja, a pirate, or a cow?"
Well, first, the ninja and the pirate would team up to eat the cow, and while the pirate was still eating the ninja would kill him.
"Dear Ezlo,
Any advice for how to create a long lasting internet meme?"
You need to find a line from a movie or some other media; alternatively, you can use some butt ugly picture of something and put some stupid caption on it. But the real trick is to make it so popular, that people can be sick of it but they'll still reference it.
"Deer Ezlo,
Do you bother to read the parts that say Dear Ezlo?"
There is no Deer Ezlo. There is only me.
"Dear Ezlo,
What requirements are needed to become a mod, if you don't become one by being randomly selected? And why am I asking you?"
You have to follow the rules and show that you are responsible. It certainly isn't a random selection.
That is something I'd like to know.
Dear Ezlo
How do you get your plume to curl like that?
Dear Ezlo
Do you ever respond to the questions, like most of them or only the serious ones because I really don't see responses anywhere, probably because I skimmed the forums but still you can answer more often....
Dear Ezlo,
I'm back, and those pictures that i found on the internet of you were pretty disturbing.
Dear Ezlo,
How do you create a Philosopher's Stone?
Dear Ezlo,
Can you explain the 80's in an equation, please?
"Dear Ezlo
How do you get your plume to curl like that?"
It's a natural curl.
"Dear Ezlo
Do you ever respond to the questions, like most of them or only the serious ones because I really don't see responses anywhere, probably because I skimmed the forums but still you can answer more often...."
With a regular schedule, you whippersnappers don't have enough time to bog me down with a bunch of silly questions. But if I were to go into another inactive period for some reason, when I came back I would choose the questions that looked serious (which doesn't seem to be too many), and then I would pick out the ones I want to answer. I may be extremely talented, but I don't have time to answer a hundred questions in one sitting.
As for my answering more often, then you ought to be asking more often. I cannot answer that which is not asked.
"Dear Ezlo,
I'm back, and those pictures that i found on the internet of you were pretty disturbing."
You lie. Jack is the only one with those pictures, and leaking them onto the Internet would destroy the point of him using them to blackmail me into keeping this job.
"Dear Ezlo,
How do you create a Philosopher's Stone?"
The truth is far too horrible for you to know. Which is why you only need to watch Fullmetal Alchemist to discover your answer.
"Dear Ezlo,
Can you explain the 80's in an equation, please?"
I'll try.
80 = (pills + walkers - teeth - sight - hearing) x wisdom + 1 for each year past 80
Dear Ezlo,
That was a pretty accurate Equation. Good Job.
Dear ezlo,
Im back what are you going to do.
P.S. I can get those photo's.
Dear Ezlo,
Hats are very flammable aren't they?
*puts on gloves*
Dear Ezlo,
Have you ever had the greatest urge to kill and/or maim?
Dear Ezlo,
What does purple taste like?
Dear Ezlo,
If you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? ;)
Dear Ezlo,
Over 9000?
Dear Ezlo,
What does the spirit flute do? :-\
Dear Ezlo,
If Television Rules the Nation, ar we Human After All?
"Dear Ezlo,
That was a pretty accurate Equation. Good Job."
It is what I'm being blackmailed to do.
"Dear ezlo,
Im back what are you going to do.
P.S. I can get those photo's."
I don't know. Should I be doing something?
P.S. Jack has the photo guarded under very strict measures, several of which include biometrics. Good luck with that.
"Dear Ezlo,
Hats are very flammable aren't they?
*puts on gloves*"
They are very flammable. But as I am not a hat any more, you should put those gloves away before I am forced to come down on you. Hard.
"Dear Ezlo,
Have you ever had the greatest urge to kill and/or maim?"
I'm getting one right now. Sleep with one eye open tonight.
"Dear Ezlo,
What does purple taste like?"
That depends. If it is fresh, it tastes like plums. If it has been sitting out for days, it tastes like Vaati's socks after a ten mile run. Or so I heard.
"Dear Ezlo,
If you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?"
Well, assuming you are in the 9th Circle of Hell, you tell the person to crawl into Satan's stomach. And that, of course, is assuming you can get out of the ice. Otherwise, you just tell them to go a deeper circle of Hell. Unless you're in the 5th Circle, in which case you just keep on fighting. And, again, this is all assuming that those demons and devils guarding Hell let you talk to each other in the first place.
"Dear Ezlo,
Over 9000?"
What is common Internet memes? I'll take Famous Cats for 800, Alex.
"Dear Ezlo,
What does the spirit flute do?"
I could tell you, but you'll just have to wait until Spirit Tracks come out in your region.
"Dear Ezlo,
If Television Rules the Nation, ar we Human After All?"
We're still humans. We just have Television Overlords.
Dear Ezlo,
What would you do for a Klondike bar? ;D
Dear Ezlo,
What wouldn't you do for a Klondike Bar?
Dear Ezlo,
If rule 34 has no exceptions, does the game truely exsit?
:-X
Dear Ezlo,
What is your opinion of techno music? ::)
Dear Ezlo,
If a tree falls down, and no one's around, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?
"Dear Ezlo,
What would you do for a Klondike bar?"
I would send my secretary to the store to buy me one.
"Dear Ezlo,
What wouldn't you do for a Klondike Bar?"
I wouldn't go to the store myself when I have a secretary to go for me.
"Dear Ezlo,
If rule 34 has no exceptions, does the game truely exsit?"
The Game must exist because you just lost it.
"Dear Ezlo,
What is your opinion of techno music?"
It's okay, but it is far inferior compared to the Minish flute.
"Dear Ezlo,
If a tree falls down, and no one's around, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?"
Why would anyone care?
What is your name?
What is your quest?
What is your favourite colour?
Dear Ezlo,
WHAT is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden Swallow (Reference Called)
Deal Ezlo,
What is the capital of Assyria?
Dear Ezlo?
Why do I keep losing the Game?
"What is your name?
What is your quest?
What is your favourite colour?"
Ezlo of the Minish.
To answer these meaningless questions until I can secure those photographs Jack has on me.
Green.
"Dear Ezlo,
WHAT is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden Swallow (Reference Called)"
What do you mean? African or European Swallow?
"Deal Ezlo,
What is the capital of Assyria?"
Assur.
"Dear Ezlo?
Why do I keep losing the Game?"
Because I keep on forcing you to lose the Game.
Dear Ezlo,
How does it feel to have made the 300th reply in this topic?
Dear Ezlo.
You rock?
Dear Ezlo, I have your photos! Will you thank me?
Dear Ezlo,
This message might meet you in utmost surprise, however it's just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I am a banker by profession from Togo Republic of Lome in West Africa, and currently holding the post of director auditing and accounting unit of the bank. I have the opportunity of transferring the leftover funds ($30 million US dollars) of one of my bank clients who died along with his entire family on 31 July, 2000 in a plane crash. I am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ration of 50% for me, 40% for you, while 10% will be mapped out for expenses. If you agree to my business proposal, further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as I recieve your return mail and reply to me immediately.
Have a great day.
Yours faithfully,
Edward Elric
Dear Ezlo,
LET ME SHOW YOU MY POKEMANZ?
Dear Ezlo,
Can I have a dollar???
Dear Ezlo,
Can I have two dollars?
And a Keyblade?
"Dear Ezlo,
How does it feel to have made the 300th reply in this topic?"
It feels like I should be allowed to quit this horrid job, but Jack still won't let me.
"Dear Ezlo.
You rock?"
Why is this a question? There is no doubt that I "rock."
"Dear Ezlo,
I have your photos! Will you thank me?"
No, I will not thank you, because I know that you are lying. If I couldn't steal back those photos, what makes you think you can?
"Dear Ezlo,
This message might meet you in utmost surprise, however it's just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I am a banker by profession from Togo Republic of Lome in West Africa, and currently holding the post of director auditing and accounting unit of the bank. I have the opportunity of transferring the leftover funds ($30 million US dollars) of one of my bank clients who died along with his entire family on 31 July, 2000 in a plane crash. I am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ration of 50% for me, 40% for you, while 10% will be mapped out for expenses. If you agree to my business proposal, further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as I recieve your return mail and reply to me immediately.
Have a great day.
Yours faithfully,
Edward Elric"
*delete*
"Dear Ezlo,
LET ME SHOW YOU MY POKEMANZ?"
That still sounds completely wrong. No.
"Dear Ezlo,
Can I have a dollar???"
Sure you can. Go get a job and earn it.
"Dear Ezlo,
Can I have two dollars?
And a Keyblade?"
See the previous question about the two dollars. As for the Keyblade, go get a job and buy one.
Quote"Dear Ezlo,
I have your photos! Will you thank me?"
No, I will not thank you, because I know that you are lying. If I couldn't steal back those photos, what makes you think you can?
I have my ways..... 8)
Dear Ezlo,
Does time being irrelevant explain the Zelda series?
Dear Ezlo,
Can I go outside?
Dear Ezlo,
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Dear Ezlo,
Can you give me the name of 2 more girls from anime that are "ill girls/byoukikko. I have Ayu, Nagisa, and Misuzu.
Dear Ezlo,
Is it okay if I tell you that I almost call you Elzo every time I write Ezlo? Why is your name so hard to spell?
Serious Question: How do I speak better to other people, without the use of a computer?
Quote"Dear Ezlo,
I have your photos! Will you thank me?"
No, I will not thank you, because I know that you are lying. If I couldn't steal back those photos, what makes you think you can?
I have my ways....."
I highly doubt that.
"Dear Ezlo,
Does time being irrelevant explain the Zelda series?"
Not by itself, but it certainly does help.
"Dear Ezlo,
Can I go outside?"
Can you? Is there something stopping you from going outside?
"Dear Ezlo,
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck wood.
"Dear Ezlo,
Can you give me the name of 2 more girls from anime that are "ill girls/byoukikko. I have Ayu, Nagisa, and Misuzu."
Hyatt and Yuzaha.
"Dear Ezlo,
Is it okay if I tell you that I almost call you Elzo every time I write Ezlo? Why is your name so hard to spell?
Serious Question: How do I speak better to other people, without the use of a computer?"
It certainly is now that you have already.
If you think Ezlo is hard to spell, then just try to spell my full name.
Serious Answer: It might help if you talk about something you and the other people share an interest in.
Dear Ezlo,
Thanks. Now I can get it recognized.
Also, have you ever played Princess Maker 2?
Dear Ezlo,
Why is your full name so long?
Dear Ezlo,
I have Returned. What would you do if per say post this to annoy you?
Dear Ezlo,
Why hasn't your main page been updated?
Dear Elzo,
What is the square root of boobs.
Dear Ezlo,
You should totally ask Anjean out. You two would make such a cute curly-bunned couple! :D
"Dear Ezlo,
Thanks. Now I can get it recognized.
Also, have you ever played Princess Maker 2?"
A gentleman never tells.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why is your full name so long?"
That's a question you will have to ask my mother. It will require a séance.
"Dear Ezlo,
I have Returned. What would you do if per say post this to annoy you?"
I would throw an English teacher at you.
"Dear Ezlo,
Why hasn't your main page been updated?"
I lost my password to the e-mail account and haven't been able to find it yet. Even if I were to find the password and answer any questions sitting in there, that lazy kamakaziplumber probably wouldn't bother updating my section. So if you're looking for someone to blame, blame him.
"Dear Elzo,
What is the square root of boobs."
You're doing homework, aren't you? Find the answer yourself! You'll never learn otherwise.
"Dear Ezlo,
You should totally ask Anjean out. You two would make such a cute curly-bunned couple!"
I did, but she said she was married to her job.
Dear Ezlo,
(holds up bitten finger) Does this look infected to you?
Dear Ezlo,
Is the new Tron good? Or just a disgrace to the original?
Dear Ezlo, did you ever meet any hot chicks at those singles parties you go to?
Quote from: Water Within on January 16, 2011, 05:28:11 PM
Dear Ezlo,
Is the new Tron good? Or just a disgrace to the original?
I know I definitely enjoyed it, just as good as the original, the dialogue can be a little sketchy at times, but some of the characters are really cool, and the effects are really neat.
Dear Ezlo,
Sorry I stole your question, Forgive me?
Dear Ezlo, do you have any tattoos?
Dear Ezlo,
If a person isn't acting as them self, who are they?
Dear Ezlo, are you God?
"Dear Ezlo,
(holds up bitten finger) Does this look infected to you?"
I am not a doctor, but yes, it does look infected. Why didn't you go to the nearest hospital?
"Dear Ezlo,
Is the new Tron good? Or just a disgrace to the original?"
What's a Tron, and why is there a new one?
"Dear Ezlo,
did you ever meet any hot chicks at those singles parties you go to?"
Of course I did. Do you even have to ask?
"Dear Ezlo,
Sorry I stole your question, Forgive me?"
There is no forgiveness, only the pain of harsh punishment.
"Dear Ezlo,
do you have any tattoos?"
I am ashamed to admit it, but yes, I got a tattoo when I was but a wee Minish lad and didn't know any better.
"Dear Ezlo,
If a person isn't acting as them self, who are they?"
Obviously.
"Dear Ezlo,
are you God?"
Trust me, if I was God, I wouldn't be stuck with this horrible job.
Dear Ezlo,
What's another word for "Thesaurus"? ???
Dear Ezlo,
What's better than super cereal?
Dear Ezlo...
Why did the site I was taking a practice SAT test on crash? I mean, I wouldn't mind if it did it, but it was AFTER I had done EVERY LAST SECTION. THE ESSAY TOO! AND THEN IT WENT *makes fart noise with mouth*
RAAAAEG!
Whoa, dude. That sucks. D:
Dear Ezlo, what's your thoughts on the new possible villain in Skyward Sword with the white hair as seen in the latest trailer?
Dear Ezlo,
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck was chuck norris?
"Dear Ezlo,
What's another word for "Thesaurus"? ???"
If you were trying to force me to destroy the universe by performing the equivalent of dividing by zero, you should be severely disappointed. Synonyms for thesaurus: glossary, language reference book, lexicon, onomasticon, reference book, sourcebook, storehouse of words, terminology, treasury of words, vocabulary, word list.
"Dear Ezlo,
What's better than super cereal?"
Ezlo BrandTM cereal. Now with more fiber.
"Dear Ezlo...
Why did the site I was taking a practice SAT test on crash? I mean, I wouldn't mind if it did it, but it was AFTER I had done EVERY LAST SECTION. THE ESSAY TOO! AND THEN IT WENT *makes fart noise with mouth*
RAAAAEG!"
Oh, you were taking a practice test when I crashed the site? I would apologize, but I'm not sorry.
"Dear Ezlo,
what's your thoughts on the new possible villain in Skyward Sword with the white hair as seen in the latest trailer?"
Pffft. I could take that loser on with one hand tied behind my back and blindfolded.
"Dear Ezlo,
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck was chuck norris?"
If a wood chuck was Chuck Norris, then wood chuck Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick the wood, not chuck it. You have better start running from Chuck Norris; it won't do you any good, but Chuck Norris loves the hunt.
Dear Ezlo, are you a god?
Dear Mr. Ezlo
How was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt 2?
Do you think the cast should attempt "My Immortal" next?
Dear Ezlo, how long is the average Minish lifespan? Also, if you flushed a toilet smack-dab on the equator, which way would the water spin?
Dear Ezlo,
Do you think the rarity of questions ask these days have to do with people believing the conspiracy theorists who claim that the world will end on December 21, 2012, and therefore think there is no point in asking any more questions?
Dear Ezlo, is it alright if my friend buys you to be one of his hats in TF2?
"Dear Ezlo,
are you a god?"
Trust me, if I was a god, I wouldn't be stuck with this horrible job.
"Dear Mr. Ezlo
How was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt 2?
Do you think the cast should attempt "My Immortal" next?"
My favorite part of the movie were the credits. And it's bad enough that "My Immortal" was even written.
"Dear Ezlo,
how long is the average Minish lifespan? Also, if you flushed a toilet smack-dab on the equator, which way would the water spin?"
The average Minish lifespan feels like it's about ten hundred thousand years. As for the toilet, it will flush in the direction the toilet is designed to flush; the Coriolis effect has no bearing on the direction a toilet flushes in either hemisphere. Even if the toilet wasn't designed for the water to flush down at an angle, but rather straight down, the toilet bowl is too small for the Coriolis effect to be observed; you would need a larger scale to observe the effect.
"Dear Ezlo,
Do you think the rarity of questions ask these days have to do with people believing the conspiracy theorists who claim that the world will end on December 21, 2012, and therefore think there is no point in asking any more questions?"
There is no conspiracy. I will end the world on December 21, 2012 unless Jack gives me back those pictures so I can quit this job.
"Dear Ezlo,
is it alright if my friend buys you to be one of his hats in TF2?"
I don't know how he could, since I'm no longer a hat.