They said the only meat a Priest could eat on friday was Nun. ;D
Alright...
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho cheese.
why is peter pan green?
If someone hit you in the peter with a pan, you would be green too!
What's the friendlist level of school?
Hi school.
have you guys read any good books lately?
I read a good one called spots on the wall by
Huflungpoo. :P
I read another one called under the bleechers, by
Seemore butts. :)
The last one was a good one. it was called rusty bed springs by Ipee Nightly. ;D
What do trains listen with?
Engineers.
One day there was a border patrol officer, and he was looking out into the distance, and he saw a mexican guy riding a donkey. The guy was too far away for the border patrol guy and he looked harmless so he let the guy go. The next day the guy was back riding another donkey, and the border patrol let him in again. This happened for a couple of days, and then the border potrol guy never saw him again. A few years later,after the border patrol officer retired, he saw the mexican guy walking around. curious, the officer walks towards him and asked, "did you ever smuggle anything?" The man replies,"si". "So what did you smuggle?" asked the officer. The Mexican simply replies, "I smuggled donkeys."
This was actually said by Jake Johanson, whoever he is, but it's still funny.
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you, too."
Here's another funny one, but I don't know if it's true or not.
One day a young vicar at St. Peter's Church in London discovered that a janitor was illiterate and fired him.
Jobless, the man invested his meager savings in a tiny tabacco shop, where he prospered, bought another, expanded and ended up with a chain of tabacco stores worth several million dollars.
One day the man's banker said, "You've done well for an illiterate, but where would you be if you could read and write?"
"Well," responded the man, "I'd be a janitor of St. Peter's Church in Neville Square."
what do you call a mushroom at a party?
a funguy :D
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no i deer :D
there good
U sarcastic... >:( ;D
There were 2 wolves in Alaska. The first one said ''Man it's cold up here'' then the other said ''O MY GOD A TALKING WOLF''
my wolf friend Snowdrift told me that one
I heard a variation of that about muffins in an oven.
Quote from: shadowlink13 on May 21, 2006, 06:06:25 PM
I heard a variation of that about muffins in an oven.
I did too, and one with eggs
No blond jokes, right? If I said one, would someone take offense?
Make it non-specific. Just replace blond with idiot.
Fat chicks need love too........but they gotta pay.
There were these three construction workers, one Mexican, one Italian, and one...idiot. It was currently lunchtime, so they dug into their lunches. However, they complained because they got the same thing over and over again.
"If I get tacos one more time, I'm going to jump off this girder," the Mexican complained first (they were on top of a 100 foot tall building in the middle of construction).
The Italian man did the same by saying, "If I get spaghetti one more time, I'll jump, too!"
Sparks flew out of his ears as the idiot did the same when he said, "If I get a ham sandwich once more, I'll jump, as well!"
The next day, they repeated the same things that they did the previous day: they went to work swiftly, and when it was lunchtime, they sat down and opened their lunch bags.
The Mexican opened up his bag and found a taco inside. Therefore, he jumped off the girder to his death. The Italian opened his bag, too, and sure enough, there was a bag of spaghetti lying inside. He jumped off the building, facing the same fate as the Mexican. As the Italian hit the ground, the idiot opened his lunch and found a ham sandwich inside. He jumped off the building and died a few seconds later.
At their funeral, the workers' wives were having a discussion of toil.
"If only I knew that he didn't want tacos, I wouldv'e given him a burrito!" the Mexican's wife cried.
"If only I gave him a bag of tortellini, he probably would still be here!" the Italian's wife cried at the same intensity.
They then looked at the idiot's wife, expecting a similar eulogy, but she simply said, "Hey, don't look at me; he made his own lunch."
Ha that was funny
There was a magic mountain, where if you jump off and say 1 word you'll turn into what you said. So 3 men went up on the mountain. The 1st man jumped off and said ''Eagel'' he turned into a eagel and flew away. The 2nd man did the same thing. Then the 3rd man tripped and fell off and said ''Cr*p'' and he turned into a pile of poo.
Moral: Never cuss on a mountain
Some guy asked a guy with a golf club (he was about to hit the golf ball) and asked "What's 4x1?", and the golfer screamed "FOOORE!" .
HAHAHAHA! That was good, you guys!
Yes, my joke is funny. I thought of it myself.
one day at a kindergarden the teacher was reading chicken little. she got to the part when chicken little came to the farmer and said "the sky is falling!"and then the teacher asked what the class thought the farmer said. a little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. the girl said,"i think the farmer said:'OH MY GOD!!! A TALKING CHICKEN!!!'"
That is funny. SPLEEEEE!!!
here is one my mother got off the internet. ;D."when i was 6 months pregnant with my third child, i was in the bathroom looking at my belly, wondering how much longer. then my eldest girl ran up to me and asked:"Mommy, areyou getting fat?" looking at my stomach."no,"i replied,"a baby is growing in my tummie.". "oh."she said."is a baby growing in your butt too?"
Quote from: shadowlink13 on May 21, 2006, 06:06:25 PM
I heard a variation of that about muffins in an oven.
Yeah, that's my standard "lamer" joke.
Great for breaking the ice or making someone think you're a moron.
Here's another lame one:
What has four legs and would really hurt if it fell out of a tree and hit you?
A piano.
You're right! It was lame.
ARE YOU SAYING IM A MORON?!?!?!IM NOT A MORON!!im more of an idiot.
Quote from: Jack on May 28, 2006, 04:14:47 PM
Here's another lame one:
What has four legs and would really hurt if it fell out of a tree and hit you?
A piano.
I actually found that pretty funny. ;D
I must have bad taste in things then.
No, not really; I'm just pretty easy to amuse. Let's just say I have a sensitive funny bone... ;)
what has four legs and would kill you wether it fell out of a tree or not?
AK cat!
*walks away slowly*
RUN, COWARD!
*AK cat opens fire and sprays area with bullets*
that reminds me.
a bullet isn't like the weak things in the movies.
take a bullet in the chest and the exit wound on your back will... well lets just say there won't be much back left...
Quote from: Evilbob on May 29, 2006, 05:09:07 AM
what has four legs and would kill you wether it fell out of a tree or not?
AK cat!
Hehehe... That was pretty good, too!
Told you guys I have a sensitive funny bone! ;D
QuoteRUN, COWARD!
*AK cat opens fire and sprays area with bullets*
ARE YOU CALLING ME A COWARD HUMAN?!?!? PERISH!!!*ingests AK cat, uses bones to pick teeth, and uses skull as belt buckle*
Poor AK cat... He never had a chance... :'(
thats what he gets for calling i, dragon lord a coward!NO ONE CALLS ME A COWARD AND LIVES TO SEE THE LIGHT OF ANOTHER DAY!!!BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
but you fail to realise that AK cat has crawled out of one of the holes on your wolfish hide caused by his AK-47!
how would he get out?? his skull is a belt buckle for cryin out loud!!
no, that was a poor innocent cat, YOU MURDERER!
Quote from: dragon lord on May 29, 2006, 07:25:01 AM
QuoteRUN, COWARD!
*AK cat opens fire and sprays area with bullets*
ARE YOU CALLING ME A COWARD HUMAN?!?!? PERISH!!!*ingests AK cat, uses bones to pick teeth, and uses skull as belt buckle*
he started it.
you started it when you ran away from my joke!
i walked away cus your OBSESSED with AK cat!!!
so?
what's wrong with that?
C'mon, it's not that big of a deal, guys. How 'bout some more jokes?
JOKE:
This idiot was rowing a boat in a field of wheat, having a very difficult time getting from one side of the field to the other.
Meanwhile, another idiot was riding in his pickup truck and noticed the first idiot. Infuriated, the second one got out of his truck and bellowed at the first idiot. "It's idiots like you that give the rest of us idiots a bad name! If I had a rowboat, I'd get over there and hit you!"
Heres one:
Yo mammas so ugly she walked into taco bell and every one ran for the border ;D
Ooh! Here's one!
Your daddy's so fat that when he sat down in school, he sat next to everybody!
Yo mammas so stupid she gave birth 2 u ;D
Okay, you went too far that time... :'(
Well, anyway, your momma's so stupid that she thought a quarterback was a refund!
Ganon yo mammas so old her 1st christmas was the 1st christmas
Hey kids!
don't insult mothers! 'cos if you do you insult all the mothers!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3007417704059163679 (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3007417704059163679)
lol, very random, but put to good use
Okay heres another
Yo mammas legs like spoiled milk white and chunkey ;D
Ganon drop it
Didn't you listen to mr.T ?
Good Idea!
but, In true A-team fashion, AK cat misses every shot.
well, they miss the wall. and hit Ganon.Oops
AWESOME
AK cat had to miss something, and he chose the wall.
good for the wall
Just wait till AK cat gets more ammo...
total oblivion