This is my thread for my character, Grenada (http://desertcolossus.com/adventures/viewtopic.php?t=24), and I was hoping for some critiquing of my character/story. What could use some touch ups, changes, what sounds good, please let me know. Thanks.
Feel free to add links to other characters in here, if you would also like an opinion on them, or whatever.
Grenada is fantastic. For a bit I was fearing that, "No one's going to choose Deku Scrub!" I guess it's the physical limitations for the most part, and the non-humanoid feel to the race (course you certainly overcomed that with Shiva, simply by making him more humanoid :D). Deku just
sounds challenging (think about facial expressions for one; the writer'll have to be right creative there)! But I'm right glad that you chose Deku Scrub (and if you were thinking of changing last minute or anything, don't let me stop you--sorry if you feel pressured!).
Awesome story, awesome character. You brought to mind another thing I was chewing over earlier today--"What major flaw am I going to give my new character?" You have covered that excellently. If only we could all make realistic characters like yours (you certainly have a pretty dark past going there, though ^^).
For Grenada's talents, I think you can add "Spit a Deku Nut" in there (sure feels nice to have something there, eh? XD). Probably not under spells or weapon proficiencies, though--maybe make another group called "Abilities" (per how they're titled in the HA2 Rulebook). Any thoughts from Narrator on this one?
One thing that caught me off guard was "Story- The man looks up at the
assassin directly above him." I was like, "Assassin!?" Since you have Grunt as your base... so I was thinking, "Where's he going with this?" Of course, you do denote Neutral as your alignment, which helps us know what you're thinking of for Main Class :).
Ah, but that's one intense story. Very very nice. One comment:
Quote"You know what will make the pain go away. It's your choice..."
I personally have no idea what this is that will make the pain go away, haha. I'm confused as to why exactly Grenada is doing this deed--does he just want the money coughed up or something? Or is this part of a story that we will find out in due time...? Eh?
I really like it, though it seems very dark for a neutral character. ;) Feel free to toy around with your character (race/class wise) before launch, you have plenty of time to tweak, if you want to.
I am also glad that someone is playing as a Deku Shrub. I love the little guys. They'll be real fun as NPCs.
First of all, I would like to thank both of you for reading and commenting. Now to business,
QuoteI really like it, though it seems very dark for a neutral character.
They're on to me! Run! *Begins running wildly like a Deku Scrub after it's been hit*
As for last minute changes, that'll only be class. I decided on Scrub a while ago. I wasn't sure about class, one reason for this is that they can't use many bigger weapons. But hey, another challenge to overcome, I guess.
Quoteyou do denote Neutral as your alignment, which helps us know what you're thinking of for Main Class
Or does it?
QuoteOr is this part of a story that we will find out in due time...?
Yep, I will reveal more and more of his backstory over time, which ties to
QuoteThe man looks up at the assassin directly above him.
Hope you don't mind me posting comments on other characters here ^^.
For Jack: I just read Narrator's backstory--it's hilarious! Lovely. I did have one question, though... under "Player's Talents", is that where you list all purchased talents? Then, under "Weapon Proficiencies," you'd put the known weapons, even though they were noted up in in "Narrator's Talents"? Would each player then add "categories" depending on what sort of talents they had (stat boosting, abilities, spells, songs, languages)?
Oh, and this is beside the point, but where does "1H sword" (the Grunt weapon I recall being the most basic or something?) and equivalents for other classes fit in? I thought (for example) Narrator would get L1 Cane innately, being a scholar. Or did I read that wrong...?
Ah, there's a difference between a staff (which Scholars start with) and a Cane (which is learned). Narrator has Cane as a learned weapon.
You can design your profile anyway you want, but I kinda insist on 1 being stats 2 being talents and 3 being backstory. I jsut divided up the talents post to make it easier for myself.
Ah ok--so besides any innate (race) talents, everyone starts out with one base class-based weapon talent?
And the post dividing thing makes sense now... I just wasn't sure if we were supposed to divide up post 2 in any particular way. I guess we can just do it however it'd look nice? Like how Grenada's got Appearance in post 3 along with backstory (which I really like ^^)?
Finally got around to reading about your character MG and I think it is great. I love the fact that you chose a Deku Scrub. If I did not decide to reuse Rugger I was thinking about becoming a fairy, a masculine, drunk, smart-a$$ fairy. But anyways Grenada is going to be a great character and can't wait till we get started.
Hey, thanks Rugger. Same here.
I think it would be awesome if you were a fairy. That has the potential to be an extremely funny character. Whatever you choose, it'll be great to have you back.
QuoteFeel free to add links to other characters in here, if you would also like an opinion on them, or whatever.
Sure, I'll provide link.
http://desertcolossus.com/adventures/viewtopic.php?t=74
Strange how someone mentioned that they were afraid that deku would be unpopular. I had the oppisite fear. I was thinking that since they are so diverse in form as a people, that they had a lot of potential for creativity, in regards to their apperance at least.
^^ Links don't work in frames.
But yes--I think it was I that feared that we'd have few Deku Scrubs... something about the expressionless faces, the 2-3 ft height range, etc. Guess I was wrong.
I had an inkling they'd be popular. They're so cute! ... erm, yeah.
It's just that Dekus are near-impossible to hate. ;D What surprises me is that Shiekah are popular, since their so... unknown/mysterious/dead/Impa.
QuoteIt's just that Dekus are near-impossible to hate. What surprises me is that Shiekah are popular, since their so... unknown/mysterious/dead/Impa.
I thought being unknown and mysterious were attractive qualities to an Rper when it ame to choosing a charactor.
Quoteunknown/mysterious/dead/Impa
That's a good summary of Arco, especially one of the adjectives *koff*.
And Pende, you're right. People love characters that have very open-slate histories, so that the past doesn't interfere with the
now.
I imagine another reason for the large-ish size of the Sheikah population is that people want a more humanoid character, yet perhaps, as non-mages, don't necessarily find Hylians appealing (with the +3 INT). And humans, well... just about everyone on this board is a human in Real Life already ^^. So mayhaps people like change, in that respect?
Ahwell. We shall see.