A Girls New Life Part 1

[Kate]

            A Girl's New Life      Part 1
Once upon a time there lived a girl in a very quite village .She lived with her grandma, and her dog Spike .The girl was called Mary and every morning she and Spike went into the dark wood's for collecting firewood for her grandma Stella .
   The forest was always dark even in the bright sunlight .It was strange though but nobody ever knew why this was .But Mary went in there every day so she started to figure out why it was always dark .She had been going in that forest for years and still couldn't figure it out but one day she looked up and then she saw it. The reason that there never was sunshine in that forest was because the big tree tops were blocking the way .It was like as if the tree tops were glued together.
  "So that's why .I have been going in these woods for like over a year now, and I couldn't think of that .I am so stupid." Complained Mary.
 "Woof" barked Spike.
 "I think we have to get back soon .You know how grandma gets if we're out too long in the dark woods which we call Never Sunshine .Grandma would be expecting her cup of tea soon, so let's get back."
  As Mary and Spike walked along the forest path, they saw lots of dear and birds flying high above them. Soon they reached the forest edge and had to cross a wooden old bridge from years and years ago.
   It was about 10 o'clock in the morning and by 10:05 grandma would have expected her cup of tea .Mary had at least another 10minute walk .But if she ran she would probably make it in 5minutes. She ran across the bridge and down the lane .She ran into the village where she lived with her grandma and she ran past the corner shop and down the lane of her grandma's front garden and through the door .Mary looked at the time and saw that it was 7minutes past 10.
  "Where have you been Mary .I have been worried sick .You no that I don't like you in those Dark Woods for long." Complained Stella her grandma.
  "I am very sorry but I learned something new today while I was in the woods."Mary said with a little upset ness in her voice because she had let her grandma down by being late.
 "Well what did you learn today in the woods?" Asked Stella with politeness.
   "Well nobody found out why the forest always stayed dark as it once had light in it .Well I thought about it and then I looked up and saw that the top of the trees covered the sunlight from shining through and it looked like the tree tops were glued together ."
   "That could be an explanation, why the sunshine never shines through the tree tops but that is not the explanation my young friend but it could be possible but it is not that .So I am very sorry." Said Stella with a bit of stuttering in her voice.
  "Could you please tell me the proper explanation." asked Mary politely.
    "I am very sorry dear. You have to wait until you are older." Stella told the now upset Mary.
  "How old will I have to be until I can find out?" Asked the excited Mary.
   "You can be told when you are the age of the hero that once saved this land."
      "How old was he when he saved the world." Wondered Mary.
"He was I think just over the age of 13." Stella said with pride.
"How and who did he save the world from."  Mary asked with excite ness.
"He used all sorts of weapons like a sword and an iron shield and loads of other weapons and he saved the world from the darkness of evil."Stella with some fear.
  So as the day went on Mary and her dog Spike wondered into town and all Mary could think of was what the explanation was for no sun shining in the dark woods .Mary met a lot of people and asked if she could no but all she got was "you'll have to wait until you're the age of 13 like the hero was."
  Mary was upset and sat down at the river where she liked to watch the fish swim and the ducks quack .She was so upset and she got angry and threw little stones at the ducks and they went and flew away. Mary headed back to her grandma's cottage and saw that her grandma was not there.
 "Grandma are you home." called Mary.
But there was no answere.Stella had probably gone done town to go and do some shopping for food like bread and butter .She wasn't back for ages and ages .
   "Where have you been grandma "Said Mary with tears that were streaming down her eyes.
 "Well I did my shopping and then went down to a restaurant to have some lunch and then I met up with this old lady who asked if I still owned a child called Mary and I said yes I do .Then she told me that you were wandering around town asking everyone that you knew and met if they could tell you about why the sun never shined in the forest and then she said something about you getting told of for it .I already told you that you have to be 13 to no ." Grandma said with a tone put on.
   "Well nobody has to no why can't you tell me and I promise I won't tell anyone else I promise I promise .Please tell me."Pleaded Mary
    "Well I wish I could but I can't .Only the witch in the forest can tell you .So you'll have to see her when you are 13 .So I am sorry." Grandma explained.
   "Ok .So where does this witch live?" asked Mary.
  "She lives far to the north of the forest." Said grandma pointing towards the forest.
So now Mary knew where the witch lived and poor grandma Stella regretted ever saying that because the next day when Mary had to do her rounds in the forest she went further to the north than she was supposed to go and then she herd a wailing sort of noise and hid behind a hedge .She peeped through the hedge and seen that in the foggy distance there was an old looking cabin next to a filthy river .Mary thought that that was where the witch lived.
   When the wailing noise stopped and there was nobody seen in the distance Mary crept up to the cabin and saw that there was a light on and that the light was casting a shadow of and witch figure with the pointy hat and everything .There was a cauldron and I wooden spoon thing in the cauldron .
     "To night it will be the hero's 30th birthday .And a new hero will be chosen." whispered the witch.
   Mary was so scared that she ran for her life and when she was going to cross the wooden wobbly bridge she noticed that it was gone .She looked bellow but nothing was to be seen .She was trapped and grandma was all alone .Mary tried shouting HELP but nobody herd it .
   "What am I going to do." Whispered Mary with fear.
  "It's your own fault my dear." said her grandma
      "Where are you?" asked Mary
"On the over side." Said Stella.
 "I did warn you ,you no but oh no you had to find out for your self and you no what I thought you were going to be different than your mother but you're the same .There is a difference between you and your mother .You are much worse than her .You should believe what your grandma says but you didn't listen .And now you have to spend the night over on the over side until the morning .Your mother had to do that but sadly she never made it for the whole night ."
    "Well look's like its goodbye then." Cried Mary.
  "Well then Goodbye my young one and if you make it you will never be accepted in this village again."Explained Grandma.


  What will happen to Mary and will she survive the night .Find out in Part 2.

[DW]

The plot is...wow...I don't know how to describe it, umm...you did better with run-on sentences than in the last story, but there is still apostrophes in the wrong places, and spaces before the periods. A lot of spelling errors, and the story is kinda....bland. The sentences are boring, it's like reading a textbook.

[Kate]

right..... erm but i got a program to help me with spelling and other things i just won't use that again :'(

[DW]

Yes, but I talked about that in the other story. You should still use the program, but you shouldn't rely on it to do everything. Like I said, it won't catch homonyms.

[Kate]

ok .I'll do better next time .I'll sort it out ,so i'll probley post the first part again :)