My Complaint about TDC

Evilslayer · April 22, 2006, 08:42:21 AM

QuoteI've been debating with myself over the last few weeks whether or not I should write this letter. Obviously, I outvoted myself and wrote it. I concluded I absolutely had to tell you that Princess Zelda Nohansen is so incredibly illiterate that she really ought to change her name to "Illiterate McIlliterate, the Illiterate Queen of the Illiterate". First, the misinformation: Zelda suggests that the few of us who complain regularly about her blanket statements are simply spoiling the party. Where the heck did she come up with that? Well, I'm sure Zelda would rather bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives than answer that particular question.

Even when the facts don't fit, Zelda sometimes tries to use them anyway. She still maintains, for instance, that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. She has been known to "prove" statistically that she is a perpetual victim of injustice. As you might have suspected, her proof is flawed. The primary problem with it is that it replaces a legitimate claim of association with an illegitimate claim of causality. Consequently, Zelda's "proof" demonstrates only that there are some simple truths in this world. First, when a socially inept, gutless fink has been beaten down with the successive hammer blows of parasitism, gnosticism, and frotteurism, she becomes quite receptive to Zelda's propaganda and quite likely to join her army of purblind gauleiters. Second, what we see today is a greater than normal manifestation of malignant traits in Zelda's drug-induced ravings. And finally, Zelda maliciously defames and damagingly misrepresents everyone and everything around her. There's a word for that: libel. I respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Obstreperous Luddites like Zelda, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in beer-guzzling, combative smart alecks in order to convince them to change the course of history. Ask her about any of her comrades who replace Robert's Rules of Order with "facilitated consensus building" at all important meetings, and the refractory hellion will say, "I never meant they should go that far." Yeah, right. The truth is that Zelda's proposed social programs are misleading and deceptive. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to fight scurrility and slander, I must explain to the population at large that Zelda intends to create a new social class. Overbearing clunks, reprehensible devotees of conspiracy theories, and barbaric dummkopfs will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their pals.

If we are powerless to resolve our disputes without violence, it is because we have allowed Zelda to gum up what were once great ideas. What I think -- and I'm no specialist -- is that now that I've been exposed to her treatises, I must admit that I don't completely understand them. Perhaps I need to get out more. Or perhaps her fans all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way Zelda keeps them loyal to her is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. Now, perhaps you think I'm imagining things. Perhaps you think that she really isn't going to make us too confused, demoralized, and disunited to put up an effective opposition to her theories. Well, I wish it were just my imagination. But you know, in these days of political correctness and the changing of how history is taught in schools to fulfill a particular agenda, the limitation and final abolition of alarmism presuppose the elimination of innumerable preconditions. I could write pages on the subject, but the following should suffice. Zelda plans to gag free speech. She has instructed her spokesmen not to discuss this or even admit to her plan's existence. Obviously, Zelda knows she has something to hide. Comments on the above are welcome, but please think them out first.

QuoteOr perhaps her fans all have serious personal problems.

What the--?!!?

Gamefreak · April 22, 2006, 04:03:33 PM

Jack! I trusted you all this time and you were doing this to me? Well that's it! I'm leaving. I wonder though. What if you used the site's generator to generate a complaint about that site? Wouldn't that cause the universe to collapse or something.