The Dark Master Sword

[Fierce Deity Link]

  "Link!" Impa cried. "Incoming arrow!" he ducked just in time as the arrow hit an approaching enemy. "Beginner's luck..." Impa muttered. "Aww come on Impa...." Link said. "I saved you from the wreck in Termina, so give me a break O.K?"
  "Ahhhhhhhhh!!!! What is that? Heeeeelpppppppp!!!" Zelda cried. "Great, she's in trouble," Link and Impa said in unision. They ran off into the direction of Zelda's screams. "God, I swear," Link said. "If I had a red rupee for every time I had to save you, I'd own Hyrule" Link said to Zelda. He drew his sword and threw it at the beast who had its tongue wrapped around Zelda's mid-section. The sword stuck into the beast instantly killing it. But just before it died, it released a gas of some sort. Link pulled the sword out of the creature and put it in his sheath. He turned around and gasped. Impa was gone and Zelda wasn't moving. She had a Triforce Seal cut near her heart.
 "Poor Link....." Ganon said. "You killed her!" Link just stood there staring Ganon in the eye. "Why?" Link demanded. "I cannot tell," he said. And with that, he disappeared into a mysterious haze.


"Why Zelda, not me?" Link wondered. "What could you possibly want Ganon!?" Link screamed. He got down on his knees beside Zelda's dead body and began to cry. Anger. Sadness. Revenge. These were the only things on Link's mind now. "Ganon will pay for this!!
       

Link looked over his shoulder. No way! The beast began to split into smaller beasts, which began to lunge at him! He drew his sword, ready for the next lunger. Whack! Link smacked one of the beasts in the head. It fell to the ground, dead. He noticed a strange purple glow around the sword he held. He thought his mind was playing tricks on him so he ignored it.
But what Link didn't know was that the sword had absorbed that gas (which could penetrate light) and his combination of revenge, sadness, and anger took form in his blade. Soon, he would face his worst enemy. It would know all his moves, techniques, and skills. It would rely only on sadness, anger, and revenge. It would be his worst nightmare, his living shadow, Dark Link.




I'll work on this more. If you give it a good rating.

[Hi no Seijin]

I'm...lost is the word I guess I'm looking for.  I'm not sure if confused is the appropriate term.  I have no clue what's going on, and I hope you plan on explaining that soon.

As for the flashback, if it only flashbacked to five minutes ago, you might as well not have had the flashback.  You should've started with those events and continued from there.

As for how Zelda handled being eaten....well, what she said would work if this was meant for humor, but the tone of your story seems serious.  If was getting eaten, I wouldn't waste any energy saying, "Could you guys help me not get eaten?  Thanks."  I'd probably be screaming and trying to fight the thing off myself.  But that's just me.

As for spelling and grammar errors, there were a few, but a quick run through Microsoft Word will help you find them.  I still suggest you look over it yourself, and probably get someone else to look over it as well.

[Fierce Deity Link]

O.K! It should be a little better now. What the heck? My username says Linkofalltrades64! Oh well. I liked FDL better