Relationships Topic

[MagmarFire]

Wait, so it's considered "nice" to be passive? That it's rude to stick up for yourself?

[Aureliano]

You guys need to be men.  Shika, I think you should put the guy in his place, and if you do, do not tell people.  If you put the guy in his place and tell Jo, she will feel the need to cough up a "thank you" right there and then.  Remaining silent will let her do it at her own will (which is much more gratifying).

Magmar, the girl is basically throwing herself at your feet.  You can say she is exposing a weakness.  What should you do when people do that?

Take advantage, of course!  Your reply should have been "I get that alot, how do I know you're not like every other girl trying to get in my pants?"  It makes you sound cocky and it makes you seem like you know what you are doing.  

When you are around her, don't be nervous.  She is the one who came onto you, so she should be the one nervous in your presence, not the other way around (then again, if she has the reputation of being a flirt just leave her alone).

Jdog, I don't know the exact details of your relationship thing, but it sounds kinda wrong.  I disagree about non face-to-face asking out, and are you sure the girl likes you?  If she doesn't and flat out rejects you, then it will strain your relationship with her.

I know I sound like a know-it-all jerk, but considering from what I have read here, it seems like I am one of the more experienced ones in the forums.

[MagmarFire]

Magmar, the girl is basically throwing herself at your feet.  You can say she is exposing a weakness.  What should you do when people do that?

Take advantage, of course!  Your reply should have been "I get that alot, how do I know you're not like every other girl trying to get in my pants?"  It makes you sound cocky and it makes you seem like you know what you are doing.  

When you are around her, don't be nervous.  She is the one who came onto you, so she should be the one nervous in your presence, not the other way around (then again, if she has the reputation of being a flirt just leave her alone).

So, in other words, act like somebody I'm not? That'd be rather shallow of me. I heard it's best to be who I am when seeking a relationship, and I want to stick to that.

And again, I hardly know her. How could I know her reputation?

[Aureliano]

I guess what I meant to say is to be in control.  I put myself in your situation and posted what I would have said:

"I get that alot, how do I know you're not like every other girl trying to get in my pants?"

Go ahead and be yourself, but don't give yourself to her just yet.  Be confident and have a good time.  Just remember that she apparently likes you and actually told you, which requires courage.

And like Shika said, if you decide not to go out with her, then you'll have a great friend that thinks highly of you, which means that she will speak highly of you to her friends, which always leads to meeting new people.

I view most things like a battleground, for some odd reason  ;)

BTW, when she told you you were cute, did she seem nervous, or did she say it like she was talking about a puppy?  Latter bad, former good.

[MagmarFire]

Neither, really. She just...said it. Reasons of suspicion, if you ask me.

[DW]

I can has girl soon maybe?

I think if we did go out, it would go well. I just...Well, she's got somebody stalking her right now. Like, going to her house uninvited and trying to contact her constantly. She's in the play I'm doing, and he's come every night, sitting in the front row and sending her stuff, and trying to meet with her backstage. Thank God one of our friends is holding him back. Honestly, I'm afraid to go out with her until this guy is taken care of. He's unhealthily obsessed, and he's already shown a disregard for her being. If he hears she's going out with a younger guy (She's a junior) I don't know what else he might do. I don't want to have her followed home and everywhere else. She really likes me, she's made that evident through conversations, and I return the sentiments. I dunno. How can I get this guy to back off?

[Fishalicious]

Punching people in the face generally gets people to leave you alone.

...Okay, that's a lie. I've done it twice, once I accidentally knocked her into admiration for me (o_o I don't get it either) and the other caused fine china dishes to be thrown at me. :'D So don't physically assault him.

Call the cops if it gets worse, though.

[MagmarFire]

How about...getting a bunch of people to just ask him to back off? Gather a group and let him know that you know that he's stalking her and that it just won't be tolerated. You're using neither force nor threats. Just...ask him to back off for the time being.

[DW]

Thing is, he's a senior and I'd prefer to stay unknown to him. I'm trying to convince her to get a restraining order, and she actually likes the idea, so she might do that. She's done everything but that, her parents have told him to stay away from the house, etc. But they can't stop him from going to the play and following her at school and such.

[MagmarFire]

All right, a restraining order works, I guess. ;)

[Hi no Seijin]

Didn't I suggest that the last time you presented a similar problem?

[Keaton]

I may be terrible at my own relationships (due to commitment issues because of my ex-fiance cheating on me), but when it comes to other people, I'm somewhat of a guru.

So, if someone would please sum up the past few pages for me (because yeah, I'm that lazy), I'd be glad to pitch in my advice.

[DW]

I think if we did go out, it would go well. I just...Well, she's got somebody stalking her right now. Like, going to her house uninvited and trying to contact her constantly. She's in the play I'm doing, and he's come every night, sitting in the front row and sending her stuff, and trying to meet with her backstage. Thank God one of our friends is holding him back. Honestly, I'm afraid to go out with her until this guy is taken care of. He's unhealthily obsessed, and he's already shown a disregard for her being. If he hears she's going out with a younger guy (She's a junior) I don't know what else he might do. I don't want to have her followed home and everywhere else. She really likes me, she's made that evident through conversations, and I return the sentiments. I dunno. How can I get this guy to back off?

That's all we're really talking about, I just revived this topic a few posts ago. He's a senior, I know that she spends at least twenty minutes walking home and from school in between periods (She has a break in her schedule) and I'm afraid of what he might do if he's pushed a bit farther.

[Keaton]

Uh, she really likes you, right?  You like her too, right?

Start going out.  Make it really plain and obvious, and that could scare Mr. Stalker away.  Talk to him.  Ask him to back off, but don't say anything confrontationally.  Use "I" statements, rather than "You" statements.  Example, "I feel that sometimes you're overstepping your boundaries and making her feel uncomfortable," rather than "Dude, you're ****ing creepy!".

If that doesn't work, then yeah.  Go with a good old-fashioned intimidation maneuver or-- in worst cases-- get a restraining order.


Or you could just hire someone to kill him.  *cough*

[DW]

Tacheon, are you making an offer?

Should I just keep it quiet at first? I mean, she said she was considering getting the restraining order.