Dark Link Awakens

[JDog]

Chapter one:
   One day Link was walking with zelda down the hall of Hyrule castle, they were talking about random things, and all of a sudden, everything goes all black. The lights finally get back on, and too Link's surprise, Zelda has dissapeared, "ZELDA! ZELDA! WHERE ARE YOU?!?" Link screamed. In the distance he heard a scream, a woman's scream, it was Zelda. But this time, it wasn't ganon taking her, it was a bounch of Re-deads, they were attacking everyone! There were people running everywhere, trying to get away from the Re-deads, but they just kept on coming and attacking, no matter how many the guards took down, they just kept regrowing. Link had a thought that Ganon was in fact behind this. Link was running toward his room, to grab is sword and sheild, he picked them up, headed out to the hall way, and all of a sudden, the place was empty, not a person or Re-dead in sight, everyone was GONE! No one, Link was scared, he didn't know where anyone was. And then, the biggest darkest guy or creature Link has ever seen came out of no where. "GANON!" Link screamed.
   "Your wrong Link, I am Dark Link, master of all Darkness and evil, no one can beat me." Said the figure. Link was really scared now, he did the only thing he could do, he took his sword, and apparently wanted to fight the guy. He attacked, Dark Link was much too quick for him though, and in seconds flatts, he was behind him. He slained Link, well, so he thought, but he hit his shield, and Link fell to the ground, knocked out. Dark Link just lauhged as loud as could, "Pathetic Child." He said. All of a sudden, he disappeared. No one was there, and Link was left there, practically dead, and alone. All of a sudden, a fairy comes flying up the hall.
   "Get up, Link, you must get up!" Said the fairy, Link's eyes opened.
   "Where am I?" Link said has he was getting up. He looked around and he just remembered what had happened, "Dark Link, he has attacked, what must we do to stop this?" Link asked the little fairy.
   "You must join sides, with the one you hate the most in life, and kill him off, the only person that could possibly beat Dark Link is you, and Ganon together, if you team up, you can beat him." Said the fairy.
   "May I have your name?" Link asked, he was still shocked by all this talking about joining sides with Ganon.
   "My name, is jen." Said the fairy. Link was so confused, he had no clue what to say, so he just started for the main gate, which was locked, from the outside! He couldn't get out, he needed to find a way to get out, and fast.
   "Why is this door locked from the outside?" Asked Link trying to pry the door open, but it just wouldn't open. Link knew another way out, but it wasn't going to be a walk through a park or anything to get to. Link went to Zelda's room. There it was, laying on top of the staircase. A chair, not just a chair, but a trap door! Link ran over to it, he moved it, behind the chair, was a trap door, Link ducked down, and started crawling, he heard squeeking sounds, RATS! "Oh crap!" Link shouted, "Could this be any unluckier?" Link had no clue what to do, so he just started crawling. He finally got to it, an openening to were he could stand. Link stood up, "Great, now where am I? He was stuck, he had no clue where to go, there was an intersection, so, first he went right. Nothing, a dead end, so he went back, and turned left, once again, dead end, so he went back, turned upward, finally, he found another intersection, did the same thing has before, only this time, there wasn't a dead end at the right side, he just kept on crawling, and finally, he found the sewer. He got up. He asked the fairy if she could make him more fire, cause his candle was burning out. But she doesn't know how to make fire.

[Hi no Seijin]

Okay, I'm going to be blunt with you.  I couldn't finish reading this.  There are far too many grammatical errors.  If you have Microsoft Word, I highly recommend you first write your fanfics there so you can check your grammar and spelling before you post it anywhere.  If you have Notepad, don't be afraid to send it to a friend so they can proofread it.  Even if you have a good plot, no one is going to bother reading your stories if you make a grammatical error in just about every sentence.  The reader is going to have to stop after every sentence and try to make sense out of it, and that'll quickly turn them off from your fanfic.