Relationships Topic

[darkphantomime]

I recommend 200 sit-ups a day for sexy abs.

Too bad it's all flab now.

[Aureliano]

I tried to change the common stereotype that guys are perverts into the less commonly known one that targets females as pervs. 


u sa wut i did thur?


Secrets? Well, eat more green veggies than meat, drink more water than soda, have sweets when you feel you deserve them, and make routine where you work out every other day (one day for resting your sore limbs, the next for making your rested limbs sore).

[DW]

Facial hair, yes or no? If yes, I'm screwed.

[Aureliano]

If you feel that facial hair will make you look good, then yes.
Heck, if you feel that looking like the lead singer of Tokyo Hotel makes you feel attractive then knock yourself out.  Being confident is what matters most.


I don't have my 5 '0 clock stubble either  :(

[DW]

then knock yourself out.

The ladies like the unconciousness, yes?

Meh, I can go without shaving a few days before it looks noticeably bad.

[Vaati]

I need a solution to this problem my sister has:


   My sister isn't very talkative, but there's this one guy (we'll call him Bob in case he doesn't want people knowing his name or something) who does talk to her. They started talking last year when they were juniors. My sister was glad to finally have a friend to talk to. Now, this year, Bob told her that he liked her, he even told me, too (he's my friend on DeviantART, and I know him from Photoshop Club at school). But when my sister said she didn't like him like that, he said "It's 'cause I'm fat, isn't it?" when it wasn't. It's just that she's not interested in dating yet, much like me (I have a friend who likes me, but when I told him I didn't want a boyfriend, he understood, and we're still good friends). But Bob doesn't seem to want to let go of her.

   When I was chatting with him on MSN, he told me that he had a character he made up on World of Warcraft (we'll call his character Bill, because the real name of his character is also his DeviantART name) who was, as he said "epitome of evil" or something like that. Like his character would kill children just so he could survive and stuff and Bob told me that Bill was like his alter ego, and only friend for a little while. Kind of scary, if you think about it, having a pure evil imaginary friend. But he said that when he met my sister, Bill went away. So I thought "Oh, that's a good thing." but then thinking "Oh God! Maybe it's not so good!" Because my sister doesn't like him back, she's also starting to find him rather annoying (and so am I) because he has a tenancy to be...rather rude at times, but I know he doesn't mean to be. For example, when I had something called "Shingles" I had it on my back and I told him about it. When I was talking to him a while later, he said "Is your arse still itching?" so I said "Umm...I said it was on my back..." and he kept insisting it was on my bottom, which was really starting to get on my nerves since I was the one who had it, so I should know. Also, he kept making light of my Crohn's disease, saying "So, you're in the hospital for Crohn's? Are ya having explosive diarrhea and stuff?" Like I said, I know he's just kidding around, but he doesn't seem to realize that some people get annoyed with that. He most likely doesn't pick that up because he doesn't talk to people very much, you know.

   Every time he tells me how much he cares about my sister, and how she doesn't seem to like him back, I just want to tell him "Quit wasting your time. She doesn't like you the same way you like her. Let it go." but thinking back to his alter ego, Bill, I see he's just lonely. And I can kind of see why he doesn't want to let my sister go. When he chats with me on MSN, he says "Is there something bothering her? I really care about her, so I wanna help her but whenever I try to talk to her, she never seems to wanna talk to me." I'm tempted to just tell him bluntly, "Leave my sister alone! You wanna know what's bothering her? It's you! She already told you she's not interested, but you can't seem to take a hint! If you want to help her, if you wanna do her a favour, then don't do anything and leave her alone!" But the thing about Bill keeps me from saying that because he has a fragile self esteem and for some reason, I'm afraid if I or my sister say something to him and make him mad, Bill might come back and he'll...I dunno, start shooting up the school or something.


Can anyone help with this? Ladies who've had some experience with guys? Gentlemen who can relate to Bob?

[darkphantomime]

I think you may have to be blunt with him, tell him that you're not comfortable with the crap he's been saying to you and your sister. Sometimes it's better to be blunt than to have someone keep being a jerk.

If he doesn't understand what he's doing wrong, then there won't be progress. You shouldn't be afraid, just let him know that he can be friends, just not the way he wants to be, like in an intimate relationship. He needs to understand that.

[Vaati]

Alright, that sounds good. Thanks, JQ, my sister and I owe you one!  :)

[DW]

Don't make too big a deal out of relationships. It's not like a proposal or anything.

[cacturnerules]

This isn't a big deal, compared to other cases I've seen. The PM was really only huge and juicy with details because DH92 knows what I'm talking about.

[DW]

If you get along well, there's no reason not to give it a shot. Don't expect to be soulmates right off the bat or anything though. You expect everything to work perfectly from the beginning, and you overlook the things that are wrong...anyways, you're too young to worry about that.

Point is, it shouldn't ruin the whole family friendship unless you pull some really stupid stunt. So just be relaxed and do what you feel is right.

[DW]

Sorry, but I fail to see how. Unless they're incredibly paranoid or something.

[MagmarFire]

And "not looking at you the same" doesn't necessarily mean it will be bad. If anything, it's plausible that they'd find it, for lack of a better term, "fluffy" and good natured.

[DW]

He won't need to be cautious unless you give him reason to be cautious.

[DW]

Treat her with the utmost respect. See her as an equal. That's the only way things can work. If either of you thinks that one is too good or not good enough, there goes the balance and one of you's going to end up looking like a jerk or a fool. Just relax. If you think it's what you want, then give it a shot. Nothing else is important. If she thinks it's right, she'll say yes. It's that simple.