Ask Ezlo questions

[o0Zelda0o]

Dear Ezlo,
            What heavier, a tone of feathers or a tone of bricks?  
If you answer this in 4 seconds you win a bag of rupees and chocolate - o! Oh! well!! ^^ More for mee!!!  

[Vaati]

Copycat! (lol, just kidding)
Dear Ezlo,
Are your ears burning? 'Cause Daphne's saying stuff about you...BAD things. I'll tell you if you give me sugar.

[DW]

Dear Ezlo,
            What heavier, a tone of feathers or a tone of bricks?  
If you answer this in 4 seconds you win a bag of rupees and chocolate - o! Oh! well!! ^^ More for mee!!!  

Tones have no weight.

I win!

[Commodore Axilon]

I think she means "tonne", i.e. the metric ton.

[Hi no Seijin]

Saber still wins.

[Commodore Axilon]

I wasn't trying to be witty there, I was being entirely serious.

[Hi no Seijin]

Sorry, but he still wins.

[Keaton]

Um.

Dear Ezlo.

It's like... April Fools day, and stuff.

So, um.

April Fools.

Sincerely,
Tacheon Alexander Black
(bad jokester and professional emo)

[Vaati]

Dear Ezlo,

.......
.......
.......
.............WHAT!?

[blue_darkling]

hello Ezlo.

i was wondering if you could help me with this annoying glitch i've found in my copy of Majora's Mask. in the stone tower there is a room missing. i've looked up some guides and they all say that when you go through the door behind the sun block that you get rid of by redlevting the light on it from the mirror you charge light up in in the room with loads of water, you go to a room with a pillar that you can knock down as a goron, but when i go through this door it just leads me back to the entrance room.

please help me with this but it's ok if you don't know since it's a glitch.

[Keaton]

Dear Ezlo, do you think I'd make a good mod?

[Ask Ezlo]

From Awesome Ninja--
"Dear Ezlo,

The latest member who joined this forum is lipsexperry. You're old and have experience; Could you please tell us what 'lip sex' is?"

...I'm not old, I'm young at heart!  :grumble grumble:

I do believe that is the act of two lips copulating, if I remember correctly.

From MagmarFire--

"Dear Ezlo,

How often do you play with fire and gasoline at the same time? "

Ah, that reminds me of my days on Team Fortress 2...

:lost in reminiscence:

Sorry, what was the question?

From Gamefreak--

"Dear Ezlo,

It's obvious that you're the greatest thing to happen to gaming.  Is it possible that the new Zelda 08 game will be centered around you?"

I'm not giving anything away, but let's just say that Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland was going to be 'Ezlo's Rosy Rupeeland' originally... but I turned it down.  People already made enough gay jokes about me riding Link.

From Mr. bubbles--

"Dear ezlo,
Do you know what pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is? i do"

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a diseases, commonly found in coal miners, from a buildup of silicate dust in their lungs.  Hence, as EVE suggested, it's other name 'Black Lung'.

(see, I can be serious)

From Colonel Aureliano Buenida--

"Dear Ezlo,

Why are you so violent?  Did Daphne make you mad?"

No, I just refuse to take my meds.

get that needle away from me

From Peka--

"Dear Ezlo,
Can you talk to fish?  And if so, what do they say?"

Can you talk to fish?  No?

I didn't think so

From EVE--

"Dear Ezlo,

Who is Daphne?"

Freddy's crush on Scooby Doo.

From MagmarFire--

"Dear Ezlo,

WHOOPS! WRONG ADDRESS! ><"

I DIDN'T ORDER THIS PIZZA AND I REFUSE TO PAY FOR IT

[size=1/16]Say, is that pepperoni?[/size]

From Mr. bubbles--

"Dear Ezlo,
What energy unit is defined as the heat required to raise one kilogram of water by one degree celsuis?"

What do you think this is, Jeopardy?

Answer:  a calorie

From MagmarFire--

"Dear Ezlo,

How many, um...CALORIES...*wink* *wink* *wink* have you lost in the past few days?

(Killing two birds with one stone, FTW!) "

Asking one one's weight is impolite.

From EVE--

"Dear Ezlo,

Now that the main site is being answered more frequently, will this portion of the forums still be used? ^_^"

Wouldn't it have been closed otherwise?

From Vaati--

"Dear Ezlo,

Was your name Lazlo(w) in another life? Or did you just legally change it? I know it was Lazlo(w) once! We all know!!!

Your Back-Stabbing-No-Longer-Apprentice,
Vaati"

Did you NOT receive the restraining order?

From Colonel Aureliano Buenida--

"Dear Ezlo,

Will I ever recieve the recommended dosage of sanity?"

...what is this sanity you speak of?

From Zane the SC LoZ--

"Hey Ezlo, does Saria where hairdye?or is green her natural hair-
color?if its dye

1.how'd she get it?
2.what brand is it?"

She's actually blonde, she just visits the pool often.  Chlorine tinges blond hair green.

From EVE--

"Ezlo--

what if x=x+1?"

(Elephant)(Banana)Sin (Theta)

From o0Zelda0o--

"Dear Ezlo,
             What is 1xXjj7.35h=??"

That is my Social Securities Number, how did you get ahold of it?

From Peka--

"Dear Ezlo, what is the life span of a Minish and how many calories are in a pound of fat?"

Minish live for exactly ten seconds after they hear the possibility of them dying.  Also, there are exactly-- :dies:

From EVE--

"Dear Ezlo,

How many triangles does a side have?"

Are you trying to give me an aneurysm?

From Vaati--

"Dear Ezlo,
Where's the beef? ^_^"

I thought you had it!

:searches for beef:

From EVE--

"Dear Ezlo."

Dear EVE.

From o0Zelda0o--

"Dear Ezlo....
               Want a beef jerkey?!"

I have a wife for that, thank you.

From Vaati--

"Dear Ezlo,
If you answer this letter in three seconds, I'll give you a thousand rupees! Oh well! Too late!"

You always manage to make me cry, oh bitter disciple.

From iLawliet--

"Dear Ezlo, do you like bacon?If so, do you have an obssession with it atleast once a day"

Little known fact:  I actually invented bacon.

From o0Zelda0o--

"Dear Ezlo,
           What heavier, a tone of feathers or a tone of bricks?
If you answer this in 4 seconds you win a bag of rupees and chocolate - o! Oh! well!! ^^ More for mee!!!"

I wasn't aware that sounds had weight.

And WHY MUST YOU ALL BE SO CRUEL

From Vaati--

"Dear Ezlo,
Are your ears burning? 'Cause Daphne's saying stuff about you...BAD things. I'll tell you if you give me sugar."

What?  I can't hear you over this burning in my ears.

From EVE--

"Um.

Dear Ezlo.

It's like... April Fools day, and stuff.

So, um.

April Fools.

Sincerely,
Tacheon Alexander Black
(bad jokester and professional emo)"

ARGH YA BEAT MEH

From Vaati--

"Dear Ezlo,

.......
.......
.......
.............WHAT!?"

Yes, me too.

From blue_darkling--

"hello Ezlo.

i was wondering if you could help me with this annoying glitch i've found in my copy of Majora's Mask. in the stone tower there is a room missing. i've looked up some guides and they all say that when you go through the door behind the sun block that you get rid of by redlevting the light on it from the mirror you charge light up in in the room with loads of water, you go to a room with a pillar that you can knock down as a goron, but when i go through this door it just leads me back to the entrance room.

please help me with this but it's ok if you don't know since it's a glitch."

I've never heard of this, "Majora's Mask".  Is it a band?

From EVE--

"Dear Ezlo, do you think I'd make a good mod?"

Do you really want me to answer?

----------------------

Well, 'tis a pleasure to be back in your service.  Sorry for my absence, I had to purchase a new walking stick.  This is hard when the nearest town's a hundred miles away and you're without a walking stick.

[Shadow Goris]

Dear ezlo, am i the master of spam, randomness, and cheese?

[Zelda Veteran]

If you question it, then chances are, no.

Dear Ezlo:
What happens when the Minish Woods floods?

[Axel]

Dear ezlo: Do you watch the TV show called the office?? I think you should.