Ask Ezlo questions

[Twilight Wolf]

Dear Ezlo,

Why does the word "unisex" mean "suitable for both sexes" if the prefix "uni" is Latin for "one?"

[The Glamour Nazi]

Dear Ezlo,
     If you put a cat in a soundproof, lightproof box with a neuropoison and fire an electron from a particle accelerator with a spin of +.01 and don't open the box, Is the cat dead?
I WANNA SEE YOU ANSWER THAT!

[Pale Dim]

Dear Ezlo,

Is Chuckinator even sane?

[The Glamour Nazi]

I can answer that myself.


No!

[Ask Ezlo]

"Dear Ezlo,
omgwtfbbq"

i no rite

"Dear Ezlo,
What religion are you and Vaati (not me)? Is it a special Minish religion or just some crazy cult?"

We follow a religion that I am not at liberty to discuss with non-believers.  Rest assured, it is not a cult; those I lead myself.

"Dear Ezlo,
I have buch of questions. Here ya go:
-What color does a smurf turn when you choke it?
-Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
-Why do croutons come in airtight packages when it's just stale bread to begin with?
-Why is it that if someone tells you that there are a billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
-Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites?
-Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
-If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
-Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

this is a serious one:
-Do mermaids birth thier babies, or do they lay eggs?"

-A darker and lovelier shade of blue.
-Because making "abbreviation" a short word would have been plain ridiculous.
-Because moisture will turn it back into fresh bread.
-Because you can touch the wet paint; the billion stars you can't.
-Because the sole purpose of the English language is to confound you.
-Are you saying you have never lost yourself to the beat of music?
-That's just in case a drunk guy is directing the blind guy.
-No.  Water would.  A cow doesn't drink milk; it makes milk.
-Only if the mime isn't miming a sound-proof box.
-If the mermaid has a bellybutton, she didn't come from an egg; if she doesn't have a bellybutton, she came from an egg.

"Dear Ezlo,
Many questions as well:
A.) Can I call you grasshopper? 'Cause you're green like one.
B.) What happens when you give a pig a pancake?
C.) Is there any reason why you and Tetra have the same hairstyle?
D.) How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
E.) For Ezlo.
F.) "Dear Deku Tree" challenges you."

A.) Only if you wish to die a very painful death.
B.) You give a pig a pancake.  Do I look like a farmer to you?
C.) She's always copying what I do.
D.) It takes one to screw in the lightbulb, and several others to complain that they didn't.
E.) For you.
F.) I accept.  I'll meet him in the fields behind the school at sundown.

"And also dear ezlo,
Why did the cucco cross the road?
And also ezlo you would look good in a foh hawk but Im not sure how to spell it. How do you spell foh hawk?"

To attack the Minish on the other side; that's how Librari got those feathers.

It's fro-hawk, and no I wouldn't.  Don't talk about what you don't know.

"Dear Ezlo:
Why wont you answer my question."

Could it have something to do with the fact that you put them in the form of a statement and not a question?

"Dear Ezlo,
Why don't you have a signature? Is it because you cant think of what to put? Or is it because the one you want davy jones said was too bloody?
For me its a bit of both."

I am far too cool to have a signature.

"Dear Ezlo,

Why does the word "unisex" mean "suitable for both sexes" if the prefix "uni" is Latin for "one?""

Again, because the sole purpose of the English language is to confound you.

"Dear Ezlo,
     If you put a cat in a soundproof, lightproof box with a neuropoison and fire an electron from a particle accelerator with a spin of +.01 and don't open the box, Is the cat dead?
I WANNA SEE YOU ANSWER THAT!"

If you don't put in any food and don't open the box to feed the cat, the cat is dead either way.  Why did Schrödinger have a problem with this?

[The Glamour Nazi]

EZLO IS A GENIUS! I WILL SEND HIS ANSWER TO MY QUESTION TO THE MOST RENOWNED SCIENCE INSTITUTES YOU'LL WIN THE PEACE PRIZE MAN!
Okay but how about this? if x is equal to pi divided by pi then what is cake?

[Hi no Seijin]

Dear Ezlo,
Did you steal my brain?  I can't seem to find it, and, having no brain, I don't know if I misplaced it or if someone stole it.

[The Glamour Nazi]

Dear Ezlo,
Other than made up games and Zelda games (if any) What kind of games do you play can I have their names?

[Ask Ezlo]

What?  Only three questions?  I finally get rid of that annoying dog so I can have a more regular schedule, and you whippersnappers run out on questions on me?  Maybe I can get those photos and the negatives back from Jack and go back into retirement.

"Dear Ezlo,
EZLO IS A GENIUS! I WILL SEND HIS ANSWER TO MY QUESTION TO THE MOST RENOWNED SCIENCE INSTITUTES YOU'LL WIN THE PEACE PRIZE MAN!
Okay but how about this? if x is equal to pi divided by pi then what is cake?"

Red velvet.

"Dear Ezlo,
Did you steal my brain?  I can't seem to find it, and, having no brain, I don't know if I misplaced it or if someone stole it."

I do not steal brains.  I merely explode them with my sheer intelligence.  You probably misplaced it; I highly doubt your brain is worth stealing.  After all, it isn't my brain.

"Dear Ezlo,
Other than made up games and Zelda games (if any) What kind of games do you play can I have their names?"

We Minish play a more cutthroat version of poker.  I would explain the rules to you, but it would take all month.

[Uximadesk]

Dear Ezlo,
This sentence is a lie. Am I telling the truth or a lie?

[The Glamour Nazi]

dear Ezlo

Why don't people ask you more questions you're a genius.

-Chuck

[ZeldaFreak]

Dear Ezlo,
Um okay how do i find log₄ 53 using only the calculator that my Algebra II teacher gave me? I can only figure out how to do the log₁₀ of things but that doesnt help me.

[Uximadesk]

Dear Ezlo,
How come this is not a question.

[ZeldaFreak]

Dear Ezlo,
Are you going to be in spirit tracks? Oh and also when does it come out, including delays and everything?

[The Glamour Nazi]

Hey Ezlo,

Can I show you mah Pokeymanz?