Ask Ezlo questions

[Uximadesk]

Dear Ezlo,

Any advice for how to create a long lasting internet meme?

[The Glamour Nazi]

Deer Ezlo,

Do you bother to read the parts that say Dear Ezlo?

[Pale Dim]

Dear Ezlo,

What requirements are needed to become a mod, if you don't become one by being randomly selected? And why am I asking you?

[Ask Ezlo]

"Dear Ezlo,
Who would win between a ninja, a pirate, or a cow?"

Well, first, the ninja and the pirate would team up to eat the cow, and while the pirate was still eating the ninja would kill him.

"Dear Ezlo,
Any advice for how to create a long lasting internet meme?"

You need to find a line from a movie or some other media; alternatively, you can use some butt ugly picture of something and put some stupid caption on it.  But the real trick is to make it so popular, that people can be sick of it but they'll still reference it.

"Deer Ezlo,
Do you bother to read the parts that say Dear Ezlo?"

There is no Deer Ezlo.  There is only me.

"Dear Ezlo,
What requirements are needed to become a mod, if you don't become one by being randomly selected? And why am I asking you?"

You have to follow the rules and show that you are responsible.  It certainly isn't a random selection.

That is something I'd like to know.

[Vaati]

Dear Ezlo

How do you get your plume to curl like that?

[greatness1993]

Dear Ezlo
      Do you ever respond to the questions, like most of them or only the serious ones because I really don't see responses anywhere, probably because I skimmed the forums but still you can answer more often....

[The Glamour Nazi]

Dear Ezlo,
I'm back, and those pictures that i found on the internet of you were pretty disturbing.

[Hi no Seijin]

Dear Ezlo,
How do you create a Philosopher's Stone?

[Uximadesk]

Dear Ezlo,
Can you explain the 80's in an equation, please?

[Ask Ezlo]

"Dear Ezlo
How do you get your plume to curl like that?"

It's a natural curl.

"Dear Ezlo
      Do you ever respond to the questions, like most of them or only the serious ones because I really don't see responses anywhere, probably because I skimmed the forums but still you can answer more often...."

With a regular schedule, you whippersnappers don't have enough time to bog me down with a bunch of silly questions.  But if I were to go into another inactive period for some reason, when I came back I would choose the questions that looked serious (which doesn't seem to be too many), and then I would pick out the ones I want to answer.  I may be extremely talented, but I don't have time to answer a hundred questions in one sitting.

As for my answering more often, then you ought to be asking more often.  I cannot answer that which is not asked.

"Dear Ezlo,
I'm back, and those pictures that i found on the internet of you were pretty disturbing."

You lie.  Jack is the only one with those pictures, and leaking them onto the Internet would destroy the point of him using them to blackmail me into keeping this job.

"Dear Ezlo,
How do you create a Philosopher's Stone?"

The truth is far too horrible for you to know.  Which is why you only need to watch Fullmetal Alchemist to discover your answer.

"Dear Ezlo,
Can you explain the 80's in an equation, please?"

I'll try.

80 = (pills + walkers - teeth - sight - hearing) x wisdom + 1 for each year past 80

[The Glamour Nazi]

Dear Ezlo,
That was a pretty accurate Equation. Good Job.

[Mr. bubbles]

Dear ezlo,
Im back what are you going to do.
P.S. I can get those photo's.

[HylianHero92]

Dear Ezlo,

Hats are very flammable aren't they?


*puts on gloves*

[MagmarFire]

Dear Ezlo,

Have you ever had the greatest urge to kill and/or maim?

[Uximadesk]

Dear Ezlo,
What does purple taste like?