Ask Ezlo questions

[Vaati]

Dear Ezlo,
Wo bist du??? Komme aus! Are you hiding just 'cause there's someone named Vaati here?

[The Glamour Nazi]

Yeah thats it!

Dear Ezlo,

Don't hate why don't you appreciate?

can you explain this?

[Pale Dim]

Dear Ezlo:
Who is Dr. Orpheus?

[ZeldaFreak]

Dear Ezlo,
Why are you gay?... *thinks for a second* oh. 

[Ask Ezlo]

Any and all questions regarding my disappearance:

You try getting chased around by those cursed creatures known as dogs all day and see when you have time to answer all of these petty questions!

"Dear Ezlo,
WHERE. IS. SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!1?//?"

In the Land of Overused Memes.

"Dear Ezlo,
Will you vote Santa in 2012?

Dear Ezlo,
How do you feel about Gamefreak/Ezlo 2012?

Dear Ezlo,
I'm running against you and Gamefreak for the 2012 election.

Vaati/Santa 2012 for an eviller America!!! "

Haven't you young'uns heard?  The world is going to end in 2012, so it doesn't matter who runs for World Dictator.

:someone whispers in ear:

There's no World Dictator?  They were talking about the President of the United States?

Well, as I will be the only person to survive, I'll call my office whatever I want.

"Dear Ezlo,
If a train leaves a station in Miami at 4:00, going 60 mph, and heads north, and another train leaves a station in New York City at 11:00, going 50 mph, and heads south, what time will dinner be done?"

This question cannot be solved as you forgot to tell me which city I am in.

"Dear Ezlo,
Can I have your house."

Just as soon as you can shrink yourself down to my size and claim the deed from my Labyrinth of Death.

"Dear Ezlo,
If a train traveling at 60 mph leaves NY at 3:00 p.m, and I'm standing in the way of the tracks with my Portal Gun, when will I shoot it?"

At the last possible minute to maximize the suspense.  Now excuse me while I dispose of you for not knowing the answer to this simple question.

"Dear Ezlo,
Don't hate why don't you appreciate?

can you explain this?"



I don't appreciate because I suffer from having an inferior secretary.

As for the frog-headed gentleman, I would assume faulty breeding explains his abominable existence.

"Dear Ezlo,
Why are you gay?... *thinks for a second* oh. "

Those are slanderous lies!

[Keaton]

Dear Ezlo,

omgwtfbbq

[Vaati]

Dear Ezlo,
What religion are you and Vaati (not me)? Is it a special Minish religion or just some crazy cult?

[ZeldaFreak]

Dear Ezlo,
I have buch of questions. Here ya go:
-What color does a smurf turn when you choke it?
-Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
-Why do croutons come in airtight packages when it's just stale bread to begin with?
-Why is it that if someone tells you that there are a billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? 
-Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites?
-Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
-If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
-Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

this is a serious one:
-Do mermaids birth thier babies, or do they lay eggs? 

[Vaati]

Dear Ezlo,
Many questions as well:
A.) Can I call you grasshopper? 'Cause you're green like one.
B.) What happens when you give a pig a pancake?
C.) Is there any reason why you and Tetra have the same hairstyle?
D.) How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
E.) For Ezlo.
F.) "Dear Deku Tree" challenges you.

-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Reminds me of how my dad said when we pulled up to a drive-up ATM "If you need to use audio assistance for the vision impaired, then shouldn't you not be driving?" 

[ZeldaFreak]

-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Reminds me of how my dad said when we pulled up to a drive-up ATM "If you need to use audio assistance for the vision impaired, then shouldn't you not be driving?" 

I know thats wierd right?!

And also dear ezlo,
Why did the cucco cross the road?
And also ezlo you would look good in a foh hawk but Im not sure how to spell it. How do you spell foh hawk?

[HylianHero92]

It's either Faux Hawk or Fohawk

[Pale Dim]

Dear Ezlo:
Why wont you answer my question.

[ZeldaFreak]

Dear Ezlo,
Why are people so impatient?

[cacturnerules]

Dear Ezlo,
I have buch of questions. Here ya go:
-What color does a smurf turn when you choke it?
-Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
-Why do croutons come in airtight packages when it's just stale bread to begin with?
-Why is it that if someone tells you that there are a billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? 
-Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites?
-Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
-Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
-If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
-Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

this is a serious one:
-Do mermaids birth thier babies, or do they lay eggs? 

Dear Ezlo,

How could all the best questions ever fit into one post?

[ZeldaFreak]

Dear Ezlo,
Why don't you have a signature? Is it because you cant think of what to put? Or is it because the one you want davy jones said was too bloody? 
For me its a bit of both.