Help Wanted!

[darkphantomime]

I'd like to point out that Jack is no longer here, and no longer in charge of the site, so your mind to honor his wish...

I think he'd appreciate it and understand it if we had someone who had decent graphing skills to turn things around.

[Master Dragmire]

BLASPHEMER!

Seriously, if Jack said not to mess with it, don't.
I can understand a few tweaks to make it better.

While, I'm all for a new layout ( Zelda Dungeon's is AWESOME! ) this is after all, Jack's baby.

[kamakaziplumber]

A little attention to the compendium would also be welcome! It'd be great if you'd do that too, Dragmire, and anyone else who wants to pitch in can say so right here.

As far as the layout goes... I'd be willing to try and contact Jack (truly a feat, nowadays). If he clears it, I'm all for a layout update... But if he says no, that's final. He is, after all, god of TDC, no matter who the webmaster is.

[MagmarFire]

Hey, KP, I have a sample written. Should I post it here to have it reviewed, or should I just send it to you to see if it's TDC worthy?

[Master Dragmire]

Here, here, here!

[MagmarFire]

All right, you asked for it. (And I still need to add a bit more to it, but here's the basic form of it.)

Zelda Re: Review

For most of us Zelda fans, we've been through many dungeons, and these dungeons may have (1) killed you so many times that you wanted to throw your controller, DS, GBA, and siblings out the window; or (2) made your head explode to the point where you had to resort to teh interwebz (e.g. The Desert Colossus? ) for assistance. For some of us, we always had that extra heart of Life Energy, that one extra fairy, that one extra bomb, you name it. These necessities were all that we needed to get that dungeon treasure, put the smack-down on the boss, and save that sage/spirit/whatever.
But time and time again, there was that one dungeon—that one goddessforsaken place that had some of the greatest Zelda players' minds turned into a vat of pudding (mmm...chocolate ^_^ ), and it has, through the ages, transformed from game to game as the hardest/most hated dungeon in the game, regardless of its position in the game's linearity. For most of us...it makes us gag at looking at a glass of dihydrogen monoxide. For those of you who have never taken chemistry, that's the "technical" name for what we often call water. Yes, it's the Water Temple. It's deep. It's dark. It's terrifying. It's...well, wet.

Who's up for a Swim?

   The Water Temple is arguably the most difficult/irritating dungeon or series of dungeons in the Zelda franchise, with its confusing puzzles and altered physics. Google it, and the first item that pops up (for me, anyways) is a site that says that there was a poll on Everything Zelda64 saying that the Water Temple was voted the hardest level in Ocarina of Time. This site also goes so far as to basically saying that you're screwed if you're stuck. Well, that's pretty fun, isn't it? Starting the game days before, you come across this place, and then you find that you've taken a wrong turn in the temple and get lost. Huh. That was a good twenty bucks well spent.
   The site also says, however, that the going will only get easier from then on, which would make sense, because if the Water Temple is the hardest, logically everything else would have to be easier. So if you beat the Water Temple, you're ready for anything! Heck, you might as well just go to Ganon's Castle right now, knock on his door, and flick the chip off his shoulder.
   "Hey, what are you doing here?" he'll say. "You didn't save the other two Sages!"
   "Hah! I don't need to save them!" Link will say with pride. "I beat the Water Temple!"
   Now, for the first issue of Zelda Re:, we'll be taking a gander at some of the issues that gamers everywhere have had trouble, from keys, to floors, and to bosses. You'd best prepare yourselves.

In We Go!

All right, you've just gone into the temple, and the first thing you need to do is take the Iron Boots off and float to the surface. Easy enough, right? I mean, you don't have to wear the Iron Boots in the temple ever again, right? Huh, WRONG! Turns out that you have to keep pressing Start, go to the Equipment Subscreen, and equip and reequip the Iron Boots when you need them. From what I remember, you need to do it dozens of times and when having to go underwater and going back above water, you'd think that there'd be a much quicker way to do it. A shortcut, maybe? *neon sign points to C-Buttons*
As seen in The Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, you can set your Iron Boots to the X, Y, and Z buttons (except for Twilight Princess, of course, where you have to use Z for Midna's advice), thereby greatly increasing the efficiency as to how many times you can go through the "Iron Boot Cycle," as I call it, within a certain amount of time. And excellent addition on Nintendo's part, I say. However, for some reason, this was not in Ocarina of Time. Why? From what I see, it possibly could have cluttered the Items Subscreen, and since the items are in an array, adding an item row or column would create "empty spots" in the subscreen that quite possibly would be too difficult to fill with more items. After all, there are a limited number of dungeons and side-quests and time to make the game. In this case, this is understandable, but it still increases the time you'll make your stay in this temple...

"Miyamoto, what does the temple say about its water level?"

   Over nine thousand, right?
   Anyway, as the title would suggest, another irritating part of the dungeon was going back to the three Triforce symbols on the walls in order to change the water level, as it was obviously a major part of the dungeon have water in certain areas and to have certain areas be dry. Those of you with good memory could exploit this pretty well, as you'd have to remember where each of these symbols was to begin with in order to change it; if you could not remember where it was...well, sucks to be you.
   You'd have to do a bit of finding, making it feel a bit repetitive to go through the dungeon, having to raise and lower the water level only for one puzzle or other. This is another reason why this temple can take quite awhile to go through. And it's the finding your bearings part of the dungeons that make many water-based dungeons feel very difficult. If you have a map on you—and a compass, for that matter—use it well!

Shadow Duel

   Yes, for all you Eloze fans out there, as quite awesome as he is, Dark Link can really be considered a pain in the fanny in the Water Temple. Whatever attack you use on him can be parried, blocked, and countered easily, certainly making it seem like Dark Link is a cheap miniboss. On the other hand, Link himself has something that Dark Link does not: Din's Fire. Yeah. Shweetness. If you have magic, you can beat him a lot more easily with this simple spell. Then you may have to finish him off with your sword...and that's quite a difficult feat, too.

The Boss

   This thing is just bizarre! It has a nucleus that can control water (ala Avatar: The Last Airbender) and can strangle the crap out of you if you get caught in it. What's more, if you seek refuge on the outer rim of the room you fight in, you have to watch out for spikes, and since the Longshot you get in the dungeon doesn't home in on the nucleus, grappling it can be difficult, too. At least two arms can form from the nucleus's rotating in the water, and these arms...well, they're a bit too friendly, if you ask me. I think they've been in there way too long and just want a hug. If you're not careful, you're going to get a hug, all right—and it's going to hurt!

It's Over! (Almost)

   There you have it: some of the plethora of things that lead gamers into the Wacky Shack. What was Nintendo thinking when putting the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time? People want puzzles: you get puzzles. They want gameplay: you get underwater fights (underwater clam fighting, for the win!). Still, you'd think that the formula for water-based dungeons wouldn't be hard. It's just that it's a unique combination of puzzles and corridors that somehow just want to make you hit someone over the head with a sledgehammer. The reputation of the Water Temple is pretty negative for many people, and this review may point out some of the reasons why. I know I'm not too fond of the rooms of the vortexes and changing the water level like a green-clad plumber. Really, that should be Mario's job! However, once you get through it, once you overcome the Start button mashing, once you conquer Dark Link, once you pulverize Morpha into a...whatever water becomes when it's pulverized, you'll know you're ready to beat Ocarina of Time. Ganondorf, watch out!

Statistics

Gameplay: 4/10
Exp: Repetitive to go through due to water level changes, and the battles can get quite annoying. It's a good dungeon to play, nonetheless.

Originality: 10/10
Exp: It may be annoying, but you have to admit, this dungeon boasts massive originality. You have to go through certain levels, solve puzzles, and accommodate those puzzles accordingly with water changes.

Graphics/Detail: 9/10
Exp: Being able to travel through water like in Super Metroid and fight underwater beasties and notice the changes in sound every time you go under is pretty awesome, indeed. The whirlpools, although annoying to me, looked pretty sweet. And look at that—they have dragons there, too! ^^

Overall: 7.6/10

[Master Dragmire]

Nice review
So you'll be reviewing dungeons?

[Zelda Veteran]

 
Wow Magmar.
You went all out on that one.
10,000/5

Anyways, I'd be happy to help with whatever I can. I'm not much of a writer, so don't expect that from me. But I'm pretty imaginative, so I can help with ideas. Also, like I mentioned before, I went over a layout design with Jack a while ago, so feel free to check Gerudo Fortress for that.

Also, Dragmire, I rather dislike ZD's layout. Its too cluttered, and not very breathable. I like TDC's layout, but we could use a new banner at the top that doesn't seem so crusty... Something new looking, and fresh. Like I said before, something with Flash like zelda.com, but with the desert winds blowing. That'd be so cool!!

[MagmarFire]

Nice review
So you'll be reviewing dungeons?

And other things, I guess. I mean, I can do some requests if I can write enough about them.

[kamakaziplumber]

Um... send it to me, via PM or email. Let's keep it a surprise if we can, eh?

Oh, and I'm going to put out a new staff request here: when I say I want news reporters, I mean strictly news reporters. As in, people who report the facts, and don't necessarily doll up their posts. They can, if they do it really well and it's their style, but if not I'd prefer them to do a clean report. Which is why I'd also like people who are willing to give a kind of... "Peanut Gallery" report on the news itself, i.e. opinions and funny commentary. I think it would be a nice counterpoint to the any clean-cut news reports we might have.

If you're up to it, you'd basically get your own "Corner", or a part in some kind of "Corner"-type grouping... thing. Basically it would be a column that would follow each(?) strictly-news post. If it's your style, go ahead and apply! I'll need a sample, of course. Hope to hear from some of you on this, I know you guys can be funny! Maybe I'll personally ask some people? Eh? I don't know. Just apply, if you feel like it's your thing.

... Oh. OK, Magmar, post it here if you want.  

Brilliant! Exactly what I planned when I suggested dungeon reviews.   But seriously, great work there Magmar. Since your contributions would most likely go unchallenged (and your sample was superb), I can pretty much say you've got the... uh, position? Job? Chance? Whatever it's called. We'll see about getting you set up with a column soon. Maybe when some other positions are filled, eh?

And ZV, that would be pretty cool... still, I'm going to try and contact Jack about it. Though maybe I could sneak such a banner change in without him noticing, ha.

[Master Dragmire]

Do a full review on ChuChu jellies!  

[Zelda Veteran]

While I'm sure Jack hasn't forgotten about us, I don't know if he'd care if we changed it up a bit. He's a such a busy guy... I miss Jack. I hope he approves of all of this. Yeah, thanks for taking my idea into consideration. I'm going to see if I can make a diagram of what I'm invisioning here, and send it to anyone who requests it through PM's.

[Keaton]

Great.  Mags gets the job.

as usual

Although, you do deserve it.  Good job.

I'd be MORE THAN HAPPY to be the counter-point man.  The only person more aserbically sarcastic than me on these forums is Commodore.

[MagmarFire]

I do really like your Flash idea, ZV. I actually have the visualization in my head: the sandstorm, the flags in the storm, "The Desert Colossus" in the background...

And thank you, KP! (You, too, ZV, Tacheon, and Dragmire!) I love your critiques! It still needs to be fixed a bit, but... Gah, I hope this helps TDC!

EDIT: My bad, Tacheon. Didn't see your post.

[Keaton]

And thank you, KP! (You, too, ZV and Dragmire!)

Go to Hell.