ZV's Life is a freaking Soap Opera

[Zelda Veteran]

*This is only for the few of you who've actually kept up with the movie that is my life XD*

So, Barbara.
I love her more than I probably should.
Is it because I was her best friend for a year first?
Or because of how amazing she is?
Either way, I'm head over heels for her, and she feels the same about me.

However...

A danger is lurking around the corner.

Her.
The one who started everything for me.
The demon that caused me all the pain I withstood.
The girl that somehow pulls me in every time.
Janine.
She decided to send me a message for the first time in a year.
I don't know how, because I deleted her as a friend a long long time ago- but she just confessed to a whole bunch of bull-crap about how she's always loved me and yatta yatta yatta.

But I know what I am to her.

The glue between real boy friends.

The only reason she's talking to me is because

A. She just broke up with one of her boyfriends, and needs someone to hold her over until she finds someone else to hump/

B. She heard I was in a relationship, and wants to mess that up for me.

C. She's ACTUALLTY telling the truth. She's a skanky ho muffin.

I'm stronger than her now.
I made this startling discovery when I realized I didn't need her to run my life anymore. I'm actually happy for once right now.

I don't know what that wench is planning, but it can't be good. I'm scared she's going to try something drastic. Paranoia?

[MagmarFire]

Well, whatever it is, I probably wouldn't worry about it too much. The reason? You already said you're stronger than she is, so that's enough willpower to resist her moves on you right there. Also, you're a very loyal person. Someone who's trying to sway your affections, especially if said person is a complete bandûla who spews bull from her mouth every time she feels she can cause a desirable effect, will undoubtedly fail miserably.

In short, I probably wouldn't worry about it too much...unless, of course, it becomes life threatening. I don't really see that happening, but what do I know about NT girls who try to get into guys' pants and call it "love"?

[Zelda Veteran]

unless, of course, it becomes life threatening. I don't really see that happening, but what do I know about NT girls who try to get into guys' pants and call it "love"?

Actually, she was life threatening at one point >.>

[darkphantomime]

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Do so for the sake of your sanity! KILL IT NOW!!!!

[Hi no Seijin]

I like fire as much as the next person, but let's save it for a last resort, JQ.  Unless you meant it in a metaphorical sense, in which case you might want to clarify yourself on that point.

As for you, ZV, I guess I agree with MagmarFire.

[DW]

KILL IT WITH MAGMARFIRE!

[Gamefreak]

unless, of course, it becomes life threatening. I don't really see that happening, but what do I know about NT girls who try to get into guys' pants and call it "love"?

Actually, she was life threatening at one point >.>

Was that that one time you got into that big fight?

[Zelda Veteran]

unless, of course, it becomes life threatening. I don't really see that happening, but what do I know about NT girls who try to get into guys' pants and call it "love"?

Actually, she was life threatening at one point >.>

Was that that one time you got into that big fight?

Yes, it was, but I he never actually showed up. Good thing too... somebody would've died that day had he actually been there. Girls are dangerous creatures >.>

[MagmarFire]

unless, of course, it becomes life threatening. I don't really see that happening, but what do I know about NT girls who try to get into guys' pants and call it "love"?

Actually, she was life threatening at one point >.>

Ah, yes, that... -.-'

Well, "was" != "now." Looking at it logically, there are a few different variables involved. One of them is that you're dating someone else. Last time, you and she were dating or broke up a bit before the scheduled fight, if I'm not completely mistaken on the details that often leave my mind permanently.

I'm not really denying that it can't happen; I'm just saying that I find it less likely.

[Keaton]

TL;DR

[Howl]

*huggles* I'll be your life coach! Well, firstly, if she treated you like crap one time, and after a year she's talking to you again, your right, she's trying to use you as a "step stool" if you will, to another boyfriend. I hate sl*ts as much as the next person.

[Zelda Veteran]

Thing is, I don't know why she doesn't love me!
I'm not THAT big of a geek.
Just about every girl I know totally loves me but her!

idk what the problem is!!

The thing is, I don't need her. I had a big... er... frank exchange of ideas with her over myspace. I'm gonna post it here, but I'm gonna have to go in and censor all the curse words.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Her message out of nowhere:

I wish I could have quit you.
I wish I never missed you,
And told you that I loved you,
Every time I ****** you.

The future that we both drew,
And all the **** we've been through.
Obsessed with the thought of you,
The pain just grew and grew!

How could you do this to me?
Look at what I made for you,
It never was enough and
The world is what I gave to you.

I used to be love struck,
Now I'm just ****** up.
Pull up my sleeves and
See the pattern of my cuts.

My message back to her:

Janine...
look, I'm sorry.
I know things could have gone better between us, but...
Things just kind of fell apart between you and I.
I don't have feelings for you anymore... or at least thats what I thought.
My heart sank when I read that- so it means a part of me may still be attached to you.
I know you're sincere now, but the pain of what happened to us is still very memorable.
I can't say I love you anymore-
but I can't say I don't like you either.
Janine, you were my everything.
I would have hung onto you for the rest of forever.
I'm not saying it was anyone's fault- but somehow, that love was severed.
I made the best memories of my life with you.
You were the one that took me from what I hated-
but you were also the one who sent me into nearly a year of spiraling depression.
I don't love you.
I don't hate you.
I don't know what I feel about you.
Maybe some time way later down the road- we'll find our way back to eachother.
But now's not that time.
I have to admit, I'd be scared to go back to you.
I'll never trust you again- at least I don't think I ever could.
I don't mind talking to you as a friend and nothing more, but...
I'm seeing someone right now. I won't go into detail about it, but I will say I'm sorry we drifted so far apart.
I can't say I don't think about you every now and again- but I'm happy with who I'm with right now.
Happy.
I'm actually happy again.
And I won't jeopardize that happiness by any means.
I'm sure you understand how it is. You're all grown up, and I shouldn't have to explain this situation to you.
Thanks for at least trying to contact me though.
At least now I don't think of you like I used to.
Its nice to know I actually meant something to you.
I'm sorry things didn't go differently.
If it means anything...
To this day, I've kept that promise to you.
My friends know about the promise, and how closely I hold it.
It must mean something if I still feel an obligation to hold to it, whether its my will power, or something else.
But for now, I have to go.
U.S. History test is gonna kill me tomorrow if I don't get some studying in.

Night.

her response

I'm not going to lie, I didn't even read half of that. It was always about ME HURTING YOU! because god knows you never hurt me. it never hurt to have to bend over backwards just to show you I wouldn't hurt you anymore. It was so ******* pointless because you never dropped it, you only dropped us. I don't want your ******* fake love! I'm tired of it. I love you meant nothing to you. It was just a scam and now your done with your game and I'm the one left in the dust. I hope in the end you choke on all your pretty words. and every kiss suffocates you. I hope every hug smothers you. I hope you drown.

You were just a waste of time and a lesson I had to learn.
I was just too blinded and it took me longer to see how fake you were and to learn it.

**** you.

... my response

*sigh*
-_-

I can see you haven't matured much since the last time I talked to you. I don't know what I ever did to hurt you, but I'm not going to deny the fact that I may have. I'm sorry for whatever happened. You can wish me dead and all that... but all I want for you is for you to be able to move on to someone else, and live life as full and happy as you can. Sure, there may be snags for you in getting over someone- but I kind of figured you'd gotten over me a long time ago :/

Here's to hoping you do better in life than I have. Just so you know, it took me a whole year to get over you. I don't hate you for anything you did, and I can't blame you for it either. You made me the happiest teenage boy in the universe for almost 2 solid years. I want to thank you for the happiness. However... now... I mean... sure. This isn't the first time you've wanted me dead- hell, it wouldn't be a surprise if you sent someone to kill me again XD

You can call these pretty words if you want.
But the only reason we're not together today is because you felt the need to end it. If I ever hurt you in any way, just know that I never meant to, and I've got no feelings of malice towards you. You're a lot stronger than I am, Janine. Or at least you used to be. I'm stronger now. A whole lot stronger, and I refuse to let you take my happiness from me with your contemptible words. There was a time when you had power of me Janine- but that time is long gone.

I'd love to be your friend, and I'd love to see you happy, but if you're just going to say things like "I hope you drown", or "You were just a waste of my time", I won't stick around to hear it. Think before you speak, because sooner or later, I'm just gonna stop listening altogether. I won't take anything you said just now seriously, because everyone says things they don't mean when they're angry or upset. Again, I'm so sorry for any kind of pain I could have caused you. Angels aren't meant to fall- and I wasn't right to strike one down (even if I don't remember it). This is your last chance to drop what we had and talk to me like a human being.

If you can let go of your grudge, and bring forth what you really think about me, I'd be more than happy to listen.
But if you're going to keep on saying hateful things to me for reasons I don't even understand, then I can't be held accountable for leaving your life completely and forever.

..If you really want me gone forever, just say the word- and I'll readily pull one final disappearing act for you; forever and always...

her response to that:

You rant a lot. And I'm not mad at the fact that you don't love me anymore. But the fact is that you just dropped me. I have moved on, I have Nathan (the guy that worried you) anyways I matured fine. I just don't take your bull**** anymore. I don't wish you dead, I just wish we never touched.
moving on, the bottom line is you chickened out. It's what you do. You never told your parents about me, you never stood up for me...it was a stupid eight grade crush that made it feel like more.

In short, she was going to cheat on Nathan for me. See how she works? God... Here's my last response to her:

lol
Alrighty then- if thats how you want to remember it.
But lets recap on what actually happened kay?

1. I did stick up for you, and I DID tell me parents. You remember it too, don't you? You even had the sit-down with them.

2. I didn't chicken out- you decided to rip my beating organ right out of my chest one night online- all for an 18 year old freshman loser who cheated on you.

3. I was there for you again after you left him, even after all the pain I endured. I met you again on the bleachers- when I thought you really loved me.

4. Ever since then, every time I called you, you'd either not pick up, or pickuphangup.

5. I know a lot of people who know you, and I've heard from a lot of them that you were dating some 20 year old dude this whole time; and honestly, I wouldn't put it past you. I have this town wired now, and nothing goes unnoticed.

6. I chickened out because I didn't want to give you a 3rd chance to hit and run. I hope you have a healthy relationship with Nathan, maybe even as healthy as mine and Barbara's. I could say more just to hurt you, but I'm not like you. I hope you live a fulfilling life. If you have any parting words, just speak into the mic ^_^

Because as of now, I AAMM OUTTA HERE =D

Her rebuttal:

now let me recap
IT WAS ALWAYS ME HURTING YOU!

bye.

So what more could I have done? She just has some growing to do. Our arguments usually end with me saying: "Come back and talk to me when you grow a little."

[MagmarFire]

You want a second proofreader, too? Just in case?

[Zelda Veteran]

Sure, buddy ^_^
And thanks.
My proofreading can suck sometimes.

[MagmarFire]

Nah, we're only human. One overlooking or two isn't an uncommon thing.

And no problem. Glad to help.