Diabolus Ex Machina

[Keaton]

You are in a poorly-lit room with an unidentifiable odor, the source of which may be nearby.  You taste the warm sweetness of blood, and note that you are covered in it, in copious amounts.  You appear to be unscathed.  The room has a single door, a bed, a closet from whence the only light source emanates, and a desk with a few drawers.

What do you do?


That's right, it's text-based adventure time.  For the convenience of everyone involved, try to adhere to the following command syntax, keeping your commands as concise as possible.

> check your pockets

There are no limits to the number of participants, the absurdity of the commands, or anything else.  Have fun.

[The Glamour Nazi]

>Say out loud "It's like Netscape!"

For my first action

>eat self

[Keaton]

<Say out loud> "It's like Netscape!"

The words don't echo, but they do leave you feeling strangely old.

<eat self>

As hard as you try, you find yourself unable to wrap your jaws around your own head.

[The Glamour Nazi]

Hmm... Then...

>Check myself for wounds not related to my eating of myself

[Keaton]

>Check myself for wounds not related to my eating of myself

You appear to be unscathed.

[The Glamour Nazi]

>I break off a leg from the bed to use as a weapon.

Also >Enter name Sonata

I'll start my posts with Sonata *Action*

So it's really

>Sonata breaks off a leg of the bed to use as a weapon

[Keaton]

>I break off a leg from the bed to use as a weapon.

There are no legs on the bed.  It is a box spring and mattress lying directly on the floor.

>Enter name Sonata

You look confused.  You're fairly sure that's not your name.

They're commands, there's no need to say "I run away", just "run away" :P

[The Glamour Nazi]

>Open the closet door.

[Keaton]

>Open the closet door.

There is no door on the closet, it's recessed into the wall.  Looking into it, I don't seen anything out of the ordinary in plain sight, it's filled with shirts and other garments, and the lightbulb is obviously very old.  It smells worse here.

[The Glamour Nazi]

>Check the drawers

[Keaton]

>Check the drawers

There are no drawers in the closet.

[The Glamour Nazi]

>I check the drawers in the main room

[Keaton]

>I check the drawers in the main room

I found a key, a length of rope, a gun with no ammo, and the book "Bad Monkeys".

[The Glamour Nazi]

>Open the door, if it's locked use the key

[Keaton]

>Open the door, if it's locked use the key

Why would I need a key if the door was locked from the inside?  I open the door and am greeted by a hallway.  It is very dark.  You are likely to be eaten by a grue.