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[Blogging] The Legend of Blah Blah: The Gorons
14 Dec 2009 by hinoseijin

I don’t think many people would argue that the Gorons are animals, even if they are often described as living rocks.  What sort of animal they are is probably easier to strike up a debate with, and here’s what I like to think (as always, you are free to provide an alternative explanation).  Gorons are mammals, as can be proved by three aspects that both have in common, one of which is actually probably a bit debatable itself, so let’s start with hair.  You know, that light tan-ish, rock-looking substance that you typically see on their heads.  However, this is judging from Twilight Princess; other games does a much better job of suggesting that Gorons have hair on their heads.  The first of the bit more substantial evidence is the fact that they have bellybuttons, a feature of live birth, where the embryo develops in the womb and an umbilical cord feeds it nutrients; a uniquely mammalian trait.  There are also the nipples, which suggests mammary glands, another feature of mammals (though I understand that this might not be strictly a mammalian trait, I can’t remember which non-mammalian species have mammary glands.  Some kind of bird, I think); this would also suggest that there are female Gorons in the populace.


Oh, hey, look, my first picture.  Yay!


That brings us to how Gorons reproduce.  The bellybutton does double duty of suggesting that Gorons are mammals and that they form offspring via sexual reproduction.  That, needless to say, involves males and females (or at least male and female reproductive organs).  But there’s a slight problem with this:  no Zelda game to date has shown us a Goron that is female.  Or perhaps they have, and it’s just that female Gorons look exactly like male Gorons.  Another theory that you can throw out there is that Gorons are hermaphrodites, having both male and female reproductive organs.  My personal favorite is that female Gorons rarely interact with the other races of Hyrule, so we don’t get to see them all that often.  Here’s how I like to imagine the females of the species:  they are typically just as tall as strong as the males, but they’re not as rotund; instead, they are leaner and more toned in body shape, with developed breasts acting as a secondary sexual characteristic, much as they are for humans.


We should probably stop the article here before I get into trouble.  Next month we’ll move away from the biology of Hyrule and dig into its history again, this time exploring the enigmatic Sheikah race.


by MagmarFire @ 16 Dec 2009 06:17 pm
That bird may be the platypus you're thinking of, my friend. Well, I know they're the only mammals that lay eggs, so...

But yay on your first picture! :D
by rueyeet @ 28 Dec 2009 12:30 pm
In a world where magic exists, though, normal physical and biological laws most likely don't always apply. Features like nipples and bellybuttons are just as likely to be some preconceived notion of Farore's of what a humanoid creature should look like when she created the life forms of Hyrule, as they are to be an indication of mammilian traits. *shrug*

Other than sexism on the part of the game designers, I always rather liked the explanation that as living rock, Gorons are basically genderless. I've never met a Goron in any game who didn't call other Gorons (and Link!) "Brother", but I chalk that up to English not having an adequate non-gender-specific terms.

Going with that, it's possible that Gorons reproduce asexually, by growing out a new offspring as a yeast cell would. Chip off the old block, as it were.
by sageoffeet @ 28 Dec 2009 09:12 pm
Sure, you could say \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"a wizard did it,\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\" but I always felt that the best works of fantasy are those that can provide a realistic explanation of its universe without using magic as a crutch; which is pretty much the whole reason behind The Legend of Blah Blah. I typically try to use magic as a last resort for when I can\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t plausibly justify what can\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t be explained otherwise.

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