The Legend of Blah Blah: Spoilers of Christmas Past
15 Dec 2011 — by hinoseijin
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Koholint Island was nothing but the dream of a flying whale. Enjoy the raging internal debate of whether or not you killed an island filled with innocent people. Philosophical questions like this can keep a person awake at night. Also, what came first, the cucco or the egg?
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Sheik is Zelda. No philosophical debates here; Sheik is Zelda. In disguise. How that disguise was pulled off is up to each individual. Personally, I like to think that Zelda invented colored contact lenses and then failed to use them.
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Tetra is Zelda. In disguise. But not a disguise she chose. And she went back to being Tetra at the end. She was probably Hyrule's first Pirate Queen, which we all know would be frigging awesome.
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Midna is the Twilight Princess, not Zelda. Oh, and she's not really an imp, but a sexy woman. Who may or may not be wearing clothes; it's hard to tell. Ganon also hijacks the plot, but most people probably saw that coming when he was first mentioned in the story.
The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
Oshus is the Ocean King, who is suspicously familiar to the Wind Fish. Oh, and the whole thing might have been a dream, but it's kind of hard to figure out when a whale demi-god possibly brings objects and people from what might have been the dream into what is definitely the real world. Unless that's a dream as well.
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Chancellor Cole is an evil demon wishing to release Malladus, an ancient demon locked away by ancient spirits. Wait, how is this a spoiler? You barely even begin to play the game when Cole and his plot is revealed. Cole even showed his true colors in the game's trailer.
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Those birds Link can ride become chocobos, and Zelda gives birth to Kefka.
Okay, so I lied about not spoiling Skyward Sword.
A Happy Whatever-Holiday-You-Celebrate to you all. See you in the new year; I promise to have an article up in January.