Link – Hiiiiyah!

Zelda – I will replace Link as the playable character so people will stop confusing us.

Ganondorf – I will bring about the Apocalypse on December 21, 2012.

Tingle – I’ll stop being creepy.  For 387 rupees.  Per day.

Navi – Hey!  Listen!  You need to go to Death Mountain and free the Gorons!

Linebeck – I’ll stop sending out Link to do all of my treasure hunting for me.

Nabooru – I’m going to *resolution bleeped out to keep the site PG-13*.

Ezlo – Hah!  Like I need to improve myself!

Error – I AM ERROR!

Happy Mask Salesman – I’ll start taking my medication.

Beedle – I will start wearing clothes, but only when I’m cold.

Postman – I will reach one hundred percent performance efficiency.

Ruto – I’m going to marry Link. <3

Labrynna Maku Tree – I’m going to marry Link. <3

Sakon – I will learn to not run like a pansy.

Ralph – I’ll stop running around on my own and being useless.

Malo – Vasu Ring Shop, you’re next.

The Strange Brothers – We promise to switch to decaffeinated coffee.

Rem – I’ll stop falling asleep…on…the…zzzzzz.

Kafei – I’ll keep a better hold on my adulthood.

Maple – I’ll practice my landing.

David Jr. – I am never going to step foot on another ship ever again.

Rosa – I’ll, like, stop talking like a Valley Girl.  Um, what’s a Valley Girl?

Borlov – I’m going to get out of the gambling business.

Ulrira – Er...uh...hmm...how to say...please call...outside...