Hilarious Omegle Coversation

[Deku]

LMAO!! I scared the crap out of this poor kid. It's a long read and there IS PROFANITY. THERE IS. IF YOU'RE OFFENDED, DO NOT READ. If you want to skip the introductions, go ahead and scroll down to the line that I boldened. In short, I did not reveal my name or age, and continued to speak anonymously up until that point.

Stranger: good evening
You: Trussst me.
Stranger: yes I trust you..
You: Goooood, gooood.
Stranger: will you be my friend?
Stranger: I'm lonely
You: Yessss
You: I'm your "friend"
Stranger: I need love
Stranger: I am lack of love
You: Oh. Well. Yesss. I sssupossse...
Stranger: I am all alone, my father left me when I was 1 years old...
You: What ails you my child?
You: 1 is singular.
Stranger: my mother passed away when I was 3 years old
You: 1 year old.
You: not yearsss.
Stranger: sorry...
Stranger: I want to cry
Stranger: oh yes 1 is singular..
You: Jessssusss Chrissst
Stranger: You are interesting oh my God..
You: That ssssoundsss aweful
Stranger: err.... why are you putting a lot of "s" in your sentences?
Stranger: are you biting your tongue?
You: Oh!!
You: I...
You: No, I jusssst...
You: *damn*
Stranger: it's snake like...
You: NO!!
You: NO ITSSS NOT!
You: *dammit*
Stranger: Oh I want to have sex with Japanese guys
Stranger: oh my god Japanese guys is so hot!!
You: . . .
Stranger: hot hot hot
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: my bad
You: don't mention it.
Stranger: how are you handsome?
Stranger: feelin' good each day?
You: I didn't sssay that I wasss
Stranger: oh sorry,, how are you cutie?
Stranger: feelin' hotter each day?
You: ... ssss...
You: You confusssse me.
Stranger: ok, serious.. are you boy or girl?
Stranger: so I can decide whether to use he or she
You: I do not sssseeee how thisss matterssss
Stranger: ok
Stranger: so you don't find it important
You: not in the sssslightesssst
Stranger: ok...
Stranger: hold a minute
Stranger: I want to find my dictionary
You: NO!! DO ASSSS I COMMAND!!
Stranger: WAIT A MINUTE!!!!
You: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Stranger: why are you wheezing ?
Stranger: that is so cute....
You: wheezing?
Stranger: yup
Stranger: errr.. my dictionary said you are wheezing
You: s.
You: How many yearsss have you walked the planet you call "Earth"?
Stranger: like shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Stranger: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhh
Stranger: yeahh yeahh
Stranger: ohhh.. yeahh xD
Stranger: haha..
You: DO ASSSS I COMMAND!!!!
You: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You: HOW MANY YEARSSSS
Stranger: As or Ass?
Stranger: I read it Asssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Stranger: 19
Stranger: I've been 19 years old living in this earth kingdom
Stranger: how about you handsome?
You: I have lived for many many centuriessss... Far longer than you can imagine...
You: But for now, we'll go with 20.
Stranger: Good..
Stranger: And I love your imagination...
Stranger: Really..
Stranger: I adore it..
You: Imagination?
Stranger: err.. yup...
You: I have not imagined anything for you...
Stranger: like this sentence "I have lived for many many centuriessss.. Far longer than you can imagine..."
You: Truth.
You: Not imagination.
You: You sssseee...
You: Long ago...
Stranger: oh.................
You: Many men sssearched for the fountain of youth...
You: I am the one who found it...
You: To this day, I live on.
You: Oh
Stranger: what is that fountain of youth?
You: Thissss day*
You: A myssstical fountain that grants eternal youth to whomever drinksss from itsss cryssstal clear waterssss
You: you can find it on wikipedia or sssomething idk.
Stranger: are you serious.......
Stranger: please wait a minute..
Stranger: wikipedia will help me
Stranger: Juan Ponce de Leon?
You: Nobody hasss spoken my name in yearsss...
You: It will sssooon be time for me rissse again.
Stranger: hey serious.. you made me so afraid...
Stranger: :(
Stranger: I'm scared
You: I am the one who will awaken Armaggeddon.
You: It all beginsss with me... You... You can help me, my child.
You: You and I... Together...
Stranger: wait now I am really afraid..
You: The world hatesss you... You're so lonely... My friendship isss eternal.
You: You and I....
You: It could be jussst usss...
You: Be my pawn...
You: and I will be your king.
Stranger: Wait hold on... who are you?
Stranger: Juan Ponce de Leon?
You: You are correct...
Stranger: ohh..
Stranger: wait let me read some information about him.. ok
You: It isss wrong...
Stranger: I'll be back soon
You: All of it.
You: You're wassting your time...
Stranger: what do you mean it is wrong???
You: I wrote it... I wrote mossst of hisstory... Hisstory asss you know it iss wrong...
You: If people knew the real ssstory... My takeover wouldn't go ass smoothly...
Stranger: but Sir... wikipedia said that Juan Ponce de Leon has died...
You: It isss wrong...
You: All. Of. It.
Stranger: aaaaaaaaaaaahhh
Stranger: I'm so scared papaaaaaaaa
You: The Mayans...
You: They discovered the ssssecret.
You: The only way to ssstop my takeover...
You: And ssso I eradicated them... All of them...
You: They disappeared...
You: In the blink of an eye...
You: When the maw of hell opened to devour them.
Stranger: I'm scared...
You: Don't be...
You: I am your friend...
Stranger: would you stop making me afraid?
You: You will live when othersss will not.
Stranger: I'm so lonely and now I am afraid
You: Come with me... And you will feel neither fright nor lonlinesss... I promissse.
Stranger: I want to be your wife.... not your children..
Stranger: I wanna be the queen..
Stranger: I wanna be the starlight..
You: I have already chosssen a bride...
Stranger: hiks...
Stranger: :(
Stranger: aww... It's so painful
You: Elizabeth Bathory
You: You may also find information about her online...
You: She will be my Blood Queen...
You: And you shall be my Blood Child.
Stranger: my...............
Stranger: she's......
Stranger: errrrr.........
Stranger: now.......... really I'm so afraid..............
You: Why?
You: Why fear me?
Stranger: no I am afraid of your bride..
Stranger: =="
You: The world will fear my bride...
You: The meek will bow.
You: The mighty will fall.
You: And the Godly will perish.
You: Heroes to ashes.
You: Ground to dust.
You: The skies will bleed ashes...
You: Come with me... Aid me...
You: Be by my side...
Stranger: errr..
Stranger: I am still reading about Elizabeth Bathroy
Stranger: *bathory
Stranger: I just knew that name anyway...........
You: Will you accept my hand in unholy kinship?
You: I need more like you... Be a part of my army.
You: All will become one.
You: You can help...
Stranger: I'm so scared..
You: CAST YOUR FEAR INTO THE FIRE
You: AND JOIN ME IN MINE
Stranger: she took a bath with the maiden's blood... and drank their blood...
You: It made her far more powerful than she hoped it would...
You: They think that while they locked her away, she was doing nothing...
You: Ha. If only they knew...
Stranger: what is she doing inside?
You: What she did while they locked her up?
Stranger: yes
You: It will all become clear.
You: Sssoooooon..
You: Your time runsss thin!
You: ACCEPT OR DECLINE.
You: You have twenty sssecondsss.
You: 15
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[MagmarFire]

...What the heck did I just read? XD

[Deku]

...What the heck did I just read? XD

My horrible horrible bordome.