This is important. Please read.

[Darth Wyndisis]

Last night I was abducted by aliens.  At first I was really freaked out  because I heard all the horror stories about alien abductions on those TV shows, but then I found out they were actually pretty cool.  It didn't seem like an abduction at all.  We played video games, watched reruns of Mythbusters, and discussed the current state of planet Earth.  That isn't the important thing, however.  I had an interesting conversation with a fellow known as ΣuΘπå.  He told me that they weren't aliens at all, but an evolved form of humans that discovered time travel.  That means every UFO shown on those crazy TV shows is actually people from millions of years into the future exploring the past.

I didn't believe it at first, but it actually makes sense.  I always thought it was weird how aliens looked so similar to humans.  Think about it; if they evolved totally independently of humans, in another part of the galaxy, what are the chances they would look so much like us?  ΣuΘπå's explanation makes so much more sense.

I am glad we can finally put this to rest.  Aliens do not exist.  Only time travelers from the future.

[Twilight Wolf]

Wow... profound. o_o

[Hi no Seijin]

Have you ever given me reason to distrust you, Wyndisis?

[The Glamour Nazi]

This is an amazing discovery~!

[Darth Wyndisis]

There's more.  However, it is a matter of national security, so I must post with haste.  ΣuΘπå said that most people of his species, which will from here on be referred to as super human time-travelers (SHTTs), have a strong ethical code that says that they will not mess with the events of the past, but simply observe it and use it to better their future.  There is a small, corrupt faction of SHTTs who do not abide by these rules, and they go around manipulating events in their own favor, or people would pay them to do the same to them.  Well, roughly twenty years ago, these particular SHTTs were contacted by none other than Barack Hussein Obama II.  He came to them with a simple request: he wanted to become president of the United States.  When the SHTTs analyzed the fabric of time, there was only one possible thing they could do that would lead to Barack Obama becoming president, and that was:

Kill John F. Kennedy.

So there you have it.  JFK was assassinated by time-travelers, who are now very rich thanks to one man's selfish desires.  You know why the economy is so bad?  It's because Obama still has to pay off the SHTTs.

[The Glamour Nazi]

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

[Keaton]

tl;dr

[Dehumanizer]

why don't you write a book? I would buy it! ha

[MagmarFire]

Why was that dude's name written with Greek characters?

...COINCIDENCE?

[The Glamour Nazi]

Why was that dude's name written with Greek characters?

...COINCIDENCE?

lol, that's a good one.

[MagmarFire]

Thanks. I try. :P