My, my, what sucky grammar we have

[darkphantomime]

If Bruce Lee were still alive, Chuck Norris would get PWNED by him. No, seriousl, I hear they fought in real life training, as friends and as competitors. Bruce Lee really did whoop chuck Norris.

Alas, Gods die too soon, and mortals live too long.

[Hi no Seijin]

Oh, I've seen the stats for the tarrasque. They are unimpressive.

Whatever.  Worship Chuck Norris if you so desire.

[johnny139]

If Bruce Lee were still alive, Chuck Norris would get PWNED by him. No, seriousl, I hear they fought in real life training, as friends and as competitors. Bruce Lee really did whoop chuck Norris.

Alas, Gods die too soon, and mortals live too long.

Only the good die young...

[Hi no Seijin]

That's why they should be semi-evil.  They live longer to accomplish more stuff.

[Commodore Axilon]

Oh, I've seen the stats for the tarrasque. They are unimpressive.

Whatever.  Worship Chuck Norris if you so desire.

Oh ho! Touch a nerve did I? Sad that I know the love of the one true god Chuck Norris, and you don't? Your sad little tarrasque is an infinitesimal portion of Master Chuck's true power.

Go. Worship your false god, while I earn eternal salvation.

Edit: DPM, you're a Leeite, huh? *shakes head*

[Hi no Seijin]

One, I don't worship the tarrasque.  I'd probably run like hell to get away from it when it emerges from it's den.  Two, I don't even worship a god or goddess.  It inflates their egos too much.

[Commodore Axilon]

I'd like a picture of this "tarrasque." I am unconvinced of its existence.

[Hi no Seijin]

Here.  The picture from the Monster Manual.

[Commodore Axilon]

It doesn't look so tough. Does it have hidden rocket launchers, or something?

[Hi no Seijin]

And I thought you saw the stats for it.

No, but for hit die, it has 48d10+594, with an average HP of 858.  It's AC is 35; 32 when flat-footed (or caught off guard).  It's base attack bonus is +48/+81.  It can absorb up to 15 damage in one hit, is immune to fire, poison, disease, energy drain, and ability damage, can regenerate, and has a spell resistance of 32.  It has a strength score of 45, and it's CR (challenge rating) is 20, which says that with a party of a pure spellcaster, a cleric, and a meat tank (usually a barbarian), everyone would have to be at least level 20 to survive.  To kill it, you'd have to raise its nonlethal damage total to its full normal HP +10 (or 868), and use a wish or miracle spell to keep it dead.

I wouldn't fight this thing unless my entire party was at least around level 30.  And our spellcaster (probably me) would be ready to use a wish spell once it's unconscious.

[Commodore Axilon]

And I thought you saw the stats for it.

I was testing you. You pass, by the way.

No, but for hit die, it has 48d10+594, with an average HP of 858.  It's AC is 35; 32 when flat-footed (or caught off guard).  It's base attack bonus is +48/+81.  It can absorb up to 15 damage in one hit, is immune to fire, poison, disease, energy drain, and ability damage, can regenerate, and has a spell resistance of 32.  It has a strength score of 45, and it's CR (challenge rating) is 20, which says that with a party of a pure spellcaster, a cleric, and a meat tank (usually a barbarian), everyone would have to be at least level 20 to survive.  To kill it, you'd have to raise its nonlethal damage total to its full normal HP +10 (or 868), and use a wish or miracle spell to keep it dead.

What is this moon language? I'm gonna to need a Nerd-English dictionary here!

I wouldn't fight this thing unless my entire party was at least around level 30.  And our spellcaster (probably me) would be ready to use a wish spell once it's unconscious.

Well, what level do you think Chuck Norris is at?

Edit: Notice how I try not to be consistent within my own post. Take notes, children. This is good stuff.

[Hi no Seijin]

Simply put, a tarrasque will own worse than an owlbear.  And I don't know what level Chuck Norris would be at.  I'd have to ask my DM.  He'd probably be able to make a good guess.

[Commodore Axilon]

I think Master Chuck could take an owlbear. And probably this oversized rancor. Have you not read the "Chuck Norris Facts?" They're facts, you know. Facts are factual. That means they're true.

[johnny139]

Owlbears pwn all.



Insta-win right there, man.

[Hi no Seijin]

Again, worship Chuck Norris if you want, CA.

Johnny.  Just no.  Get your fake owlbear out of here.  This is an owlbear: