Greetings, greetings! I am Ezlo, the world renowned Minish Keeper of Lore. I know everything and anything about Hyrule, from the total annual rainfall in the Parapa Desert (zero!) to the average height of the Gerudo Male (6'2"). I have made my vast resevoir of knowledge of the ways and facts of Hyrule available to the readers of the Desert Colossus, and thusly if you have any questions for the Great and Wise Ezlo, then ask away using the form below! You can also email webmaster [at] desertcolossus [dot] com with the subject line "Ask Ezlo Submission."
Link asks
Dear Ezlo, Is Zelda a sage?
Ezlo replies...
In LttP, FSA, and OoT she is.
Patrick asks
Dear Ezlo, HOW WAS THE UNIFORCE?
Ezlo replies...
DELICIOUS, THANKS FOR ASKING.
blaze asks
Dear Ezlo, will zelda 2005 be in a new reigon that's not a dreamland or
alternate dimension?
Ezlo replies...
Part of the game will take place in Taoru Village, which is outside of Hyrule, and then the large majority of it in Hyrule itself.
Ezneris asks
Dear Ezlo, If you're male, why do you sleep with Link in bed?
Ezlo replies...
I was a hat, where do you expect me to sleep? The coat rack?!
Lilith asks
Dear Ezlo, There is NO triforce in Oot, right?
Ezlo replies...
Ah, but au contraire, the great and wise Ezlo has discovered how to find the Triforce in Ocarina of Time, and the answer is so simple it can be done in two quick, easy steps! Step One: Turn off your system! Step Two: Ponder that there are still people in this world that believe the Triforce is attainable! See, it's that simple.
RaNdoM asks
Dear Ezlo, Why do some people think that Zelda just puts on a costume
to change into Sheik? She doesn't! She uses magic!
Ezlo replies...
I know! (Wait, was there a question?)
InuYasha88 asks
Dear Ezlo, Why didn't Zelda disguise herself as a Sheikah FEMALE?
Ezlo replies...
She knew, much like all wise sages do, that Ganon's one weakness is hermaphrodites.
LINK asks
Dear Ezlo, WHY DO U LOOK LIKE A DUCK?
Ezlo replies...
WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?
Flamecrystal asks
Dear Ezlo, how come if Zelda has the Triforce of Wisdom, she's still stupid
enough to get herself captured in stones/crystal by bad guys every time?
Ezlo replies...
It's more of a Triforce of Book-smarts, rather than a Triforce of Don't-get-trapped-by-Ganon-every-damn-time-he-attacks-Hyrule-smarts.
zelda asks
Dear Ezlo, what is Link's favorite food? I'm just saying I don't like im
just saying?
Ezlo replies...
Judging by the games, the boy does have a healthy appetite for fairies.
rusty asks
Dear Ezlo, do you think Link likes Zelda?
Ezlo replies...
Oh sure, otherwise he'd have just let Ganon eat her and get this whole mess over with already.
koput asks
Dear Ezlo, Why are Link's feet so small, in the Wink Waker?
Ezlo replies...
Because his head is so large his body needed to balance it out a bit...
link asks
Dear Ezlo, does link have a brother or sister?
Ezlo replies...
As those who have played The Wind Waker are familiar with, Link does indeed have a sister, named Aryll, but only in that game.
Vixenn asks
Dear Ezlo, why is it that in TWW you can beat the game twice, but in the other
games you have to restart them all over (including the new ones)?
and
Have you found out the truth between Link and Zelda? There has always been chemistry between them, but usually anything between them has been kept quiet?
Ezlo replies...
Oh, you can beat all the Zelda games twice, problem is not all of them have a "second quest" option/bonuses like Legend of Zelda and The Wind Waker do.
As for your second question, I consulted Link's Uncle. According to him, "Zelda is your... (gurgle, gurgle)" Does that clear up any confusion?
Jenryu asks
Dear Ezlo, does Link actually TALK in the Next Zelda (GC) and is there
any sort of swearing in there?
Ezlo replies...
If by talk you mean will link emit a series of grunts and attacking noises, then yes, Link will be reciting a small novel during the course of the game. Furthermore, the most colorful his language will get is "AYYYEYYYARGHHH."
King asks
Dear Ezlo, what color are my underwear?
Ezlo replies...
NEXT QUESTION.
Erin asks
Dear Ezlo, do you like chicken?
Ezlo replies...
Sorry, I only eat food that doesn't resemble me.
Dude asks
Dear Ezlo, why do fools fall in love?
Ezlo replies...
Why is a driveway someplace where you park and a parkway someplace where you drive? Why is it called a TV "set" if there's only one? Sorry sonny, just any other one of life's great mysteries.
Link asks
Dear Ezlo, there is another zelda game to be released, other than the
one for game cube?
Ezlo replies...
No?
Ashley asks
Dear Ezlo, do you know who the villian in the next Zelda game is going
to be? And when will Nintendo decide on a freaking name for the game?!
Ezlo replies...
Well, we do know that Ganon will be in the game, but Aonuma has hinted he wants to shake up the formula, so G-dog may not be the head baddie. As for the name, I'm expecting it will debut at E3.
SKLink asks
Dear Ezlo, How old are you?
Ezlo replies...
Old enough to still be able to whoop your behind for asking me such a question, sonny!
Niak asks
Dear Ezlo, Does Link lead a secret life that we all don't know about?
Ezlo replies...
Other than his day job of dressing in tights and running around like a madman? Who would have time for anything else?
someone asks
Dear Ezlo, why do you answer our questions?
Ezlo replies...
Erm, well, the Desert Colossus has some embarrassing phots of me, and I'd prefer those don't get out. A little téte á téte if you will... oh no, I've said too much!
Lunar6 asks
Dear Ezlo, Which fairy do you like better, Navi or Tatl?
Ezlo replies...
Tatl, since she talks FAR less than the other one.
link asks
Dear Ezlo, Ganondorf really DIES (I'm talking about DYING, since he is
always returning) at the end of the Wind Waker?
Ezlo replies...
Yes?
hey asks
Dear Ezlo, why are you green?
Ezlo replies...
Chlorophyll. Wait, no that's a plant... next question!
Rachel asks
Dear Ezlo, which of Zelda's two personas are cooler, Tetra or Shiek?
Ezlo replies...
Tetra. Something about the Princess hiding herself as a dude kinda wigs me out.
Skullkid asks
Dear Ezlo, I\'ve already seen the latest images fromthe article
"Interview with Aonuma and new Screens of NZ" and: Why Link doesn't
have is own suit? maybe the game could begin like Majora's Mask? For
example an Injured Link who woke up in a foreign village?
Ezlo replies...
According to my spies in Nintendo (you'd be surprised how inconspicuous a Minish can be in a corporate office), the game will start with Link in "Taoru" Village, which is outside of Hyrule. He has the outfit on that he does because it is the standard clothing of the village. He comes to wear his classic tunic once he leaves the village for Hyrule.
Aaron asks
Dear Ezlo, How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Ezlo replies...
A woodchuck could chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Zathappy asks
Dear Ezlo, What kind of thing are you? You didn't seem to think you were a hat.
Ezlo replies...
I'm a Minish, silly.
Java asks
Dear Ezlo, Sheik is masculine right? I heard that Sheik is Zelda, is
this true?
Ezlo replies...
There is a whole slew of jokes that I could indulge in at Sheik's expense, but I must sadly inform you that Sheik is indeed Princess Zelda, as we learn at the end of Ocarina of Time. Zelda disguised herself as the Sheikah to hide herself from Ganondorf during the Imprisoning War.
The asks
Dear Ezlo, who is stronger, Ganondorf, Phantom Ganon, or Vaati?
Ezlo replies...
Ganondorf. He created Phantom Ganon, and used Vaati as a puppet in Four Swords Adventures.
Four asks
Dear Ezlo, Why did you create the Minish Cap?
Ezlo replies...
I'm an old man, I like to keep my head warm, is this a problem?!
CruxisAngel asks
Dear Ezlo, How old is Link?
Ezlo replies...
Depends on the game. In most he's around 16, but in Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask he was 10 in young Link form. Adult he was 17.
gabriela asks
Dear Ezlo, Why are you so mean to Link?
Ezlo replies...
Would it kill him to wash his hair once in a while?!
Jerome asks
Dear Ezlo, Who or what are the moon children in "Majora's Mask"?
Ezlo replies...
Child forms of the Four Giants/Guardians that protected Termina. They liked to play Hide and Seek.
link asks
Dear Ezlo, When will the next zelda game (for the game cube) come out?
Ezlo replies...
According to Hyrule Town's local EB, it will be one October 2nd, 2005. Though, that may be the pre-order date...
RaNdoM asks
Dear Ezlo, Why does Link have pink hair in LttP?
Ezlo replies...
According to Link it was just a phase, he swears!
The 6th Sage asks
Dear Ezlo, Is Link a Hylian?
Ezlo replies...
Well, judging by his pale complexion, pointy ears, having a Hylian mother, I would say that yes, Link is a Hylian. But this is just speculation.
Queen asks
Dear Ezlo, Do any of the characters in any of the games (besides Zelda and
Gannondorf) have any last names?
Ezlo replies...
Well, there is King Dafunes Nohansen Hyrule. I'm pretty sure one of those is a last name!
Patrick asks
Dear Ezlo, How were the 4 elements made?
Ezlo replies...
Nayru used a small recipe from the back page of Deity Magazine.
William asks
Dear Ezlo, How tall is Ganondorf in OoT? I'd say about 6'9", but I don't
know for sure.
Ezlo replies...
According to a security tape I have acquired from a 7-11 robbery, by checking the height strip on the door, Ganondorf is about 6'2".
Aaron asks
Dear Ezlo, Where does Link keep all of his stuff?
Ezlo replies...
In a small Rent-a-Shed in Hyrule Town's seedy industrial district.
The 6th Sage asks
Dear Ezlo, How can I submit a story for the fan fiction?
Ezlo replies...
Quite simple actually! Just email your work to webmaster [at] desertcolossus [dot] com with the subject line "Fan Work Submission." Simple as that! I love forward to stacking your story in my vast library.
The 6th Sage also asks
Dear Ezlo, Is Impa a Sage?
Ezlo replies...
The younger, skinnier Impa was, but she was forced to give up her Sagedom when all those Twinkies made her unable to fit through the Door of Time!
Bill asks
Dear Ezlo, How old is Malon?
Ezlo replies...
If you'd ask Talon she's too young to be his mother, but old enough to act like she is! (In reality she's either ten or seventeen, depending on who sits on the throne in Hyrule Castle).
