Greetings, greetings! I am Ezlo, the world renowned Minish Keeper of Lore. I know everything and anything about Hyrule, from the total annual rainfall in the Parapa Desert (zero!) to the average height of the Gerudo Male (6'2"). I have made my vast resevoir of knowledge of the ways and facts of Hyrule available to the readers of the Desert Colossus, and thusly if you have any questions for the Great and Wise Ezlo, then ask away using the form below! You can also email ask_ezlo_of_tdc [at] yahoo [dot] com with the subject line "Ask Ezlo Submission."
superjulian asks...
Dear Ezlo,Did link ever accidently drop you in a washer machine?
Ezlo replies...
Accidentally? No, of course not. If I told you I did, I would probably have to return everything I won in the lawsuit.
superjulian asks...
Dear Ezlo,You are about to enter a door to another dimension,a dimension of sound a dimension of sight a dimension of knowledge,you have just entered the door to... the twilight zone
Ezlo replies...
But I'm not afraid! I got my rope and a flashlight, to keep the bears away! Wait, how exactly is a rope supposed to keep a bear away? Or a flashlight, for that matter? It seems like it'd only draw attention! And this is what we're teaching children today?
superjulian asks...
Dear Ezlo,Do you like Legend of zelda the abridged series created by Adamwestslapdog
Ezlo replies...
Frankly, I find it annoying and uncreative.
superjulian asks...
Dear Ezlo,Hyrulesemms unusually small in MC its only like 4 acres big
Ezlo replies...
You realize, of course, you're complaining about the size of a country to a minish?
superjulian asks...
Dear Ezlo,How come links grandpa from MC never asked where he got a talking bird hat?
Ezlo replies...
He was just glad something was covering the ponytail, honestly.
superjulian asks...
Dear Ezlo,Are the godesses hot?
Ezlo replies...
From what we've seen of them, they fly at several hundred miles an hour, with a visible flame trail behind them. I'd imagine that indicates a temperature of a somewhat high nature.
superjulian asks...
Dear Ezlo,The original links from LOZ and AOL had brown hair but every link after that had blonde hair why is this?
Ezlo replies...
I don't even want to delve into explaining all the timeline stuff about how that wasn't really the first Link. Remember the pink-haired link in ALttP? A lot of it really depended on what the system was capable of creating. Not to mention that every trait doesn't have to be the same.
superjulian asks...
Dear Ezlo,Are you having a secret affair with dphne behind your wifes back?
Ezlo replies...
Actually, it's right in front of her. Why would I hide it from her, it's not like she cares any. It's an accepted practice here.
Rock Lee asks...
Dear Ezlo,
YOSH!!! youthfulness!
Ezlo replies...
Are you mocking my liverspots?
Your Minish Friend asks...
Dear Ezlo,If you say you are in mushroom while answering questions on Ask Elzo how did you get out of the santuary?
Ezlo replies...
Is it not possible to grow mushrooms in the sanctuary? I was completely unaware. Guess I better get mine removed then, if it can't grow here after all.
Your clone, Elzo #2 asks...
Dear Ezlo, I am going to kill you in your very own house and when your new wife comes home, if you arn't dead yet, I'll say you are the clone then she is going to shoot you with a minish shotgun and you will die. See you soon.
Ezlo replies...
Oh, thanks for telling me your plan. I'll just be sure to not tell anyone then. I love keeping your secrets--I enjoy these conversations we have, don't you?
Makar asks...
Dear Ezlo,
In a previous question, you mentioned that you answer our questions in your underwear. However, you have also mentioned multiple times that you go commando. Does this mean you actually answer our questions... dare I think about it... au natural?
Ezlo replies...
There's a reason this isn't a video blog, you know.
problemsihave asks...
Dear Ezlo,My best friend is going out with a boy that i like and this other boy that i think of as only a friend in the loosest terms likes me and everyone is trying to smush is together what do i do?
Ezlo replies...
You stop worrying about relationships at your age and just roll with whatever comes your way. If this guy likes you, unless he's a total jerk, give him a chance and see how it goes.
7331 d00d asks...
Dear Ezlo, im in ur base killin ur minish
Ezlo replies...
'teel dude', I'm on your head urinating on your eardrums.
Halo master asks...
Dear Ezlo, All your base are belonging to us.
Ezlo replies...
As long as I get to keep home plate!
Roo asks...
Dear Ezlo, I accidentaly put cyanide in my monther's tea instead of sugar, and now she's all slumped over like. what should I do?
Ezlo replies...
Sue the cyanide manufacturer for not bestowing happyness upon the consumer.
Ezlo asks...
Dear Ezlo, I've got a bunch of questions. Why do you know so much (Quick! Choose the right word! Choose the right word! Ah!) intimate info about Link? Why do you have so many wives? Why are they put to work in your cellar? Were you serious when you said you [in an amusement park] met a few of your husb- Please, don't answer that one.
Ezlo replies...
1.Well, I pretty much had continouous contact with the kid for days on end.
2.I think the real question here is why can't you get so many wives?
3.Because my grandchildren take care of all the work in the sweatshop.
4.I'm not sure what you're asking, but Ezlo is always serious.
thisquestionwasn'tthoughtabouttomuchbeforeaskingit asks...
Dear Ezlo,WHO ATE THE LAST PUDDING CUP?!
Ezlo replies...
I'm not sure, but whoever ate the pudding cup is going to be having some serious gastrointestinal problems.
Link's observer asks...
Dear Ezlo, I have a flood of questions. 1 why is Link so... ? 2. What's the deal with the bed thing? 3. Were you in your right mind when you told him "I enjoyed my time with you"? 4. How come you know so much about him? 5. Why did I see you spying at him through his window? 6. While I'm at it, why do so many people ask about dating advice?
Ezlo replies...
1.Because he always...
2.Well, people generally sleep in it. Is that not what beds were made for? You need to pay attention in school.
3.I believe my right mind was taking a break. That dandy statement was the work of my left.
4.I repeat: Traveled ON HIS HEAD for DAYS ON END.
5.The wall was opaque.
6.Because little kids in middle school and high school get too hyped up over relationships, thinking they're the answers to all their problems, probably due to a lot of the stuff that passes for 'teenage comedies' these days.
Random Thinking asks...
Dear Ezlo, In the Four Swords game, Link turns into a green, blue, red and puple Links? Wherever did the idea of four Links come from? WHy not three, to sybolize Power, Wisdom and courage? And if those three do sybolize that, than what does purple stand for?!
Ezlo replies...
Well, some people would argue that there is a fourth piece of the triforce, that upside down triangle in the middle. Honestly, it's just because four player multiplayer made much more sense than three player. And the purple symbolizes Link's burning desire to be pretty, and witty, and gay. If anybody actually gets that reference, they get an Ezlo point for being at least somewhat cultured.
Ezlo replies...
To answer your question, *deletes*
imbored asks
Dear Ezlo, im bored... do something that will make me unbored
Ezlo replies...
I suppose destroying your soul would accomplish that feat, as you would feel nothing, boredom included. Shall I commence?
that one kid asks
Dear Ezlo, who would win: you, Bruce lee, Or Chuck Norris?
Ezlo replies...
This question is moot. Bruce has been decapitated and Chuck is finding his bound and gagged body on the wrong end of Michael Moore's fork.
Anontmous asks
Dear Ezlo, I was reading Manga, and apart from other incredibly creepy things in it, I saw that they used words such as "h*ll" and "d*mn it!". Is that how the Japanese talk?
Ezlo replies...
If the manga world were reality, we would have one black person in every town.
Zelda asks
Dear Ezlo, my younger, unheard of sister Bridgette thinks Link is hot. She's only 10, and Link is like 17/18! How do I snap her out of it, and what about Maurice and Paige who want to date Mario?
Ezlo replies...
Seems like someone's getting a little jealous, no? I'm a kind old Minish, however, and I believe I know how to remedy your problem. I have some...racy...pictures of myself saved to my computer. Give me your email and I'll send them to you. Post them on the wall, and your sisters will instantly forget their current crushes in favor of a much better choice.
Link asks
Dear Ezlo, why is it that I don't know how to talk but I cnn type reelllllllllyyy wlll;l//? I can tipe wt ese, so whhhhhhhhhhhhatd wihgt my speeesch? Wjst dos yis butun duoooo? #############@@@@@@@@@@@##$$%@#$
Ezlo replies...
...I have the odd feeling that we'd be doing the world a lot of good if we traced some of these messages and recommended them to a mental health organization.
Link's Observer asks
Dear Ezlo, how do you like this poem, and do you think it fits Link's description well?
Link, he is really quite a moron
He's more numb than Liggs the goron
Link wears a dress, and calls it his "duty."
We all know that Link is quite a bit fruity.
Link, he only has one hand.
He stuck his arm in a ceiling fan.
Link, what is it in that boy's head?!
Only Tingle can be stupider instead.
Link, he cannot add two + two.
I'm giving low rating to his IQ.
Link, what happened when you were a kid?
Your parents; there's something irresponsible they did.
Link, I believe that you've got a secret.
It explains so much, you little twit.
Ezlo replies...
Although Link contains all of his limbs, does not live in a world with ceiling fans, does quite a bit of counting, had next to no interaction with his parents, and you have said nothing about what this 'secret' is, I support your message one-hundred percent.
Link's Observer asks
Dear Ezlo, I stole Tingles words. He shouldn't keep them in a cardboard box, but there are dozens, er, hundreds of things he's doing wrong. Whenever I say "Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo, Limpah!" it ticks him off. Are you proud of me?
Ezlo replies...
That'll do, pig. That'll do.
Bob asks
Dear Ezlo, if you suddenly became human-sized, what would be the first thing you did?
Ezlo replies...
Well, if I were typing when I grew, then I suppose I would have to replace the shattered keyboard beneath my feet.
Beta Link asks
Dear Ezlo, if I made a fan-made Zelda game would you be so kind as to make an appearence in it?
Ezlo replies...
Well, if you're making the game, I don't have much of a choice, do I? So feel free to put me in the game. I, meanwhile, will be quite willing to call up my lawyer.
Ezlo asks
Dear Ezlo, Who the **** are you!?
Ezlo replies...
...I'm not sure whether you're trying to be funny or philosophical. Either way, you're failing.
Ahroun-Zanahi asks
Dear Ezlo, What do think the plot for the next new Zelda game will be like?
Ezlo replies...
Actually, Aonuma appears to have spilled some of the contents of the game. Whether or not this is real is undetermined, but...we can hope. It certainly seems interesting. http://boards.ign.com/nintendo_wii_lobby/b8270/165626165/p1
dimitri asks
Dear Ezlo, if zelda gives the majora's mask to link and he takes into the future, gives it back to zelda and she sends him back to a child how does he get it from young zelda if he left it in the future with adult zelda?
Ezlo replies...
When does Zelda ever give Majora's Mask to Link? If this question is supposed to be hypothetical, I suppose I would have to say that she sent him back to before he went to the future with the mask, so the mask was never taken into the future at all.
Cheez asks
Dear Ezlo, Damn you ezlo, you're still alive! I guess my plan didn't work. I'll get you next time. Oh and watch out for stalkers!
Ezlo replies...
I'm still alive? Oh, good, I'm never quite sure anymore. As for the stalkers, why should I be afraid? I love stalkers. Makes me feel loved. So much, in fact, I stalk them back. Yes, me and my stalkers run in circles all day pursuing each other.
Anonymous asks
Dear Ezlo, why did you sleep in Link's bed with him, and stating "Oh yeah!" upon waking up after Link patted you on the head?
Ezlo replies...
...I was enjoying my nap? Honestly, you people twist the most innocent things...
hi asks
Dear Ezlo, hi
Ezlo replies...
See what I have to work with? Please, somebody send in a thoughtful question...
Superjulian asks
Dear Ezlo,Will Ash ever "catch'em all"?
Ezlo replies...
I'm not sure whether you're speaking of Pokemon or STDs. Either way, that pubescent, airheaded teenager has no chance.
Superjulian asks
Dear Ezlo,What would a LoZ version of 300 be called and who would be pushed into the pit of death and who would do the pushing?
Ezlo replies...
It would be called '300 Questions', and I would be pushing you and every other person who has sent me a horrible question into a pit of boiling eggplant. If you'd come over to my house this weekend, we can start filming the trailer.
Superjulian asks
Dear Ezlo,In the instruction booklet of LoZ it says Impa was running and was surrounded by moblins then it says Link drove them away.How did he do this when he doesnt get a sword until his quest begins?
Ezlo replies...
I see you're thinking too much outside the box. Take the words more literally; he carted all the Moblins away in his 1456 B.C. Lon-Rod. Horrible mileage, that vehicle.
Superjulian asks
Dear Ezlo,Go on to youtube and look up the legend of zelda the abridged series by adamwestslapdog and reply by telling me your opinion of it.
Ezlo replies...
It needs more cowbell.
Ezlo replies...
But then I wouldn't have suffered at all! I would just be dead right away, and that's no fun, now is it? Honestly, leaving me at the mercy of a bunch of monsters in the middle of the forest was a very smart idea. Although if you really wanted to put me in pain, there would be chains and whips and all sorts of things involved. I suppose he was never one for torture, yes? His mother, however, now she knew how to...Ahem! Moving on!
Bobby P. asks
Dear Ezlo, do you think you and linebeck would get along? I mean, except for the fact that he's like 5 feet taller than you.
Ezlo replies...
Since when did size difference mean you couldn't get along? Really, my fourth wife was a half centimeter shorter than I was, and she was my favorite. It's unfortunate she forgot I liked three lumps of sugar in my tea instead of two...she might have lived.
politics asks
Dear Ezlo, are you liberal or conservative?
Ezlo replies...
I thought it would have been established by now that I am indeed Minish. *rereads* Ah, I see. Well, let's see...I try to save money any way I can, I suppose that would make me rather conservative. However, I wipe quite liberally after...making a deposite...so I suppose I'm somewhere in the middle. Does that answer your question?
Ahroun-Zanahi asks
Dear Ezlo, What is your favorite Zelda game? (Do they even have game consoles in minish-size?)
Ezlo replies...
Are you asking me, star of my own Zelda game, which Zelda game is my favorite? Really? I'm not even going to honor such a question with a blatantly obvious answer. (Yes, Mintendo does great business with the small people.)
ky asks
Dear Ezlo! HAY! You're an idiot! You never answer my questions. You racist towards Danish people? GEEZ! I have a question. For some reason my best friend is angry and moody at me lately because I met this super hot babe at an amusement park and now we are going out. Is he jealous? CUZ I GET THAT VIBE! AND IT MAKES ME MAD! Love, Ky
Ezlo replies...
1. I wasn't racist towards Danish people, but I believe I'm heavily considering it after this letter.
2. If this 'super hot babe' is my hot minish daughter, your friend is probably the bodyguard I hired to keep an eye on her. Be warned.
3. Meeting a girl at an amusement park is a touchingly romantic story. Truly it is. That's how I met a few of my wives, and one of my husbands.
random Elzo fan asks
Dear Ezlo, Umm... what should I do if one of my cats was playing with a Minish, and when I got it away from her, I found out it's still living. I seriously need that answer soon, so um, yeah.
Ezlo replies...
What kind of Minish is it I wonder? Whichever it is heal the poor fellow, you must have something there useful. If there are no fairies in the vicinity, try ripping out your heart and forcing it into my endangered brethren. I believe Link used to do something like that when he felt under the weather.
logan asks
Dear Ezlo,why am i always so bored
Ezlo replies...
Why, that's an easy one. You haven't paid your entertainment bill in months, according to my records. Please, send me 20% of your total income and I'll fix it right up for you.
Kokiri guy asks
Dear Ezlo, I hear link has dandruff. Is this true
Ezlo replies...
You ever see Star Wars? Remember Hoth? The only props Lucas needed for that scene was our Hero of Time and a huge metal fan.
Fredfrankburger asks
Dear Ezlo, your fired!!!!!!!!!!!
Ezlo replies...
You're adopted! See? Not a nice feeling, is it?
You'llneverknowwhothisis asks
How are babies made?
Ezlo replies...
Sorry, but people of your kind aren't allowed to reproduce. Government order, have to protect the world at all costs and such. I'm sure you understand.
Nikki Edogawa asks
Dear Ezlo, You were mean to me in my last question! I don't go on this site often! How was I supposed to know you answered that question 3 times already!? And my "poor brain" is only bad when it comes to math! I even wrote a book based on you!! Ur so mean! *sobs in corner like the emo girl she is*
P.S. I wanna cookie...
Ezlo replies...
You could have read, perhaps? Not encouraging you to overexert yourself or anything, but I'm sure you're fully capable of reading. You sent me a question after all. And Math is the only thing your poor brain needs to be good at! If you can't recite the quadratic formula, how will you ever manage to buy groceries?
mcsvs.zmgds hvsagj asks
Dear Ezlo, DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ezlo replies...
...I don't get paid enough...
The Eventual Atrophy asks
Dear Ezlo, I think Tingle is planning to kidnap Daphne and make her his love slave. What should we do?
Ezlo replies...
Well, I'll be rid of Daphne, and Tingle will be disappointed by her performance...You know, I think I'll slash her tires and make her walk home at night.
The mystic mold asks
Dear Ezlo,The cake is a lie! Don't eat it! I'm serious! DO NOT EAT THE CAKE, IT IS A LIE!!!!! Link ate it in A Link to The Past and he became quer!!!! The cake is a lie!
Ezlo replies...
*places promptly in shredder*
Test asks
Test
Ezlo replies...
You pass!
Godless Heathen asks
Dear Ezlo, why does Jesus hate me?
Ezlo replies...
...You call yourself Godless Heathen and ask that question? Really?
Lelouch
Dear Ezlo, you are now under the control of my Geass, now make me sandwiches.
Ezlo replies...
Daphne, you have been under my control since you submitted your application. Make the man some sandwiches.
Mario
Dear Ezlo, Okay, this may seem crazy, but, i'm blaming you for ruining my life! Because of all this LOZ stuff, the mushroom kingdom isn't prospering. I mean, seriously! Once when i went to go kidna-I mean rescue the princess, Bowser was playing one of those zelda games! Even the toads do! Now that bozo link is getting all the popularity and i'm just suffering from obesity! Even though I should blame that old hag zelda for being in trouble to much, I'm blaming you! You were also why my brother is gay! How you ask? He's afraid of pedophile birds, and i would look over your shoulder right now. Especailly pay attention to that crack in the wall just big enough to look through.....
Ezlo replies...
You've had your turn, you fat Italian pipe-scrubber. Out with the old and in with the older, I say!
Shadow
Dear Ezlo, what's Shiek's gender? In Ocarina and in the manga they say Shiek's a boy, but in Smash Bros. they say Shiek's a girl. Personally I think he's a guy, but I want your insight. So, which is it?
Ezlo replies...
Well, it depends on what you mean. Technically, Sheik would be a girl, since it's Zelda in disguise. However, she is disguised as a man, so I suppose the concept of Sheik would be male.
Ezlo replies...
Most tech-savvy punks tell me it's because the Super Nintendo didn't have enough pixies in it or something, and could only handle a certain range of colors. Personally, I think Link was just a rebel. "Take that, Uncle! Not only will I go to the castle against your will, but I'll do it fabulously!"
WoWee asks
Dear Ezlo, How would it feel like if the Legend of Zelda were to collide with World of Warcraft? (Like "The Legend of Warcraft")
Ezlo replies...
Something tells me all the naked dancing Kokiri would rub CPS the wrong way. Not to mention the quests that sick little man Tingle would have you doing. Please, just let an adventure game stay an adventure game...
Pierce asks
Dear Ezlo, Sorry to interupt, but if you're a physician, then I would like to tell you about my dream I had: I was walking into a train station minding my own business when suddenyl, I saw a little fawn in the depot station. When I pet it a few times, it got scared then ran away, but when I walked away, it started charging at me. I tried to run away, but it managed to tackle me, like a ram, and so it did. What does it mean?
Ezlo replies...
I can draw a multitude of conclusions from this statement. My professional analysis concludes that you either need to lay off the booze, LSD, or (supposing this is a vision of events to come) twinkies...fatty.
Nikki Edogawa asks
Dear Ezlo, do you go on Youtube??
Ezlo replies...
You...tube? Is that some sort of insult? Daphne, send out a team of professionals to handle this Nikki Edogawa!
You suck Ezlo asks
Dear Ezlo, You Rock Ezlo!
Ezlo replies...
Your name is rather offensive, but your question was misleading. First it was not actually a question, and second, accusing me of being a rock? A rock is a sturdy material made up from consolidated mineral matter, quite incapable of movement, much less typing. Therefore, how can I be a rock?
Sasha asks
Dear Ezlo,When you're not here anwsering questions, where are you?!
Ezlo replies...
If I were you, I'd keep a better eye on your cookie jar in the future. Just saying.
Rie asks
Dear Ezlo, are there any vaati action figure available in the US?
Ezlo replies...
Vaati, why would you want a--Ah nevermind, no. No is the answer you seek.
OSK asks
ZKlAdjcebjkksfm,shufgvkust
Ezlo replies...
Is this some of that Tingle-be-damned text talk I've been hearing about? You need to stop, kid, it'll give you cancer!
KazeWaker asks
Dear Ezlo, Why is Hyrule so mountainous in TWW? I mean, Hyrule in OOT was all flat and stuff...
Ezlo replies...
You must remember that the area covered in TWW is much larger than in OoT. In OoT, you can see mountains all around you in the distance, right? My guess is that some of those are the mountains you see in TWW, as well as other mountains beyond those ones.
Zelda asks
Dear Ezlo, I know a lot of people say I should date Link, but... could I date you instead? You're so much better!
Ezlo replies...
While your offer certainly is tempting, I doubt my wife would be too pleased with the idea...nor would my other wife enjoy it...Now the rest of my wives, they probably wouldn't care--They're too busy squeezing lemons in the cellar to notice me anymore.
Carpet Merchant asks
Dear Ezlo, Do the smash bros characters get together for drinks or something after the match? Mario and Link probly would get along, they have a lot in common.
OOO! And you and Samus could hook up! Gotta love a woman in power armor.
Ezlo replies...
Well, I must point out that not all the people involved in Super Smash Brothers are of drinking age, but then again I am not a part of that crew so I can't give up their secrets.
The Question Mark asks
Dear Daphne, what do you think of your current job?
Why did you start working with Ezlo?
And why is Ezlo not funny anymore?
Ezl--I mean, Daphne replies...
I love my job. I'm totally undeserving of the gracious care Ezlo takes of me. Yesterday, I was even allowed to eat a whole pea! I started working for him because I always wanted him for my own, but he is too great for a hag of my lowly stature. And how dare you accuse him of being not funny anymore, you simply have become less receptive of humor! Now I'm off to give my loving master a spongebath!
Jackal asks
You seem...different. Did you get into drugs during your absence?
Ezlo replies...
These accusations make me furious! I am an upstanding citizen who would never dream of touching a pipe! Although...I do live in a mushroom, and I suppose that could give me a contact high.
Bob asks
Dear Ezlo, How bad does it smell inside Jabu Jabu's Belly?
Ezlo replies...
Well, that is a smell that you will hopefully never have to come across. I must say it changes on a regular basis. You see, what he eats he tends to smell like, although not always. When he was younger he once ate a three week old tuna, it was quite a disaster.
COME ON!!! asks
Dear Ezlo, If you don't update soon I'll roll over you with my steamroller and attack you with my army of angry cuccos and you will be in a world of PAIN!!!!
Ezlo replies...
I, too, wish I would update. If I don't update by this very second, I'll be right beside you with a pitchfork (Or pine needle, given size), ready to torture myself into a state of--Oh, would you look at that. I updated. Lucky I did, too, because I was ready to give myself a good, old-fashioned Minish-Mashing.
M-Warrior asks
Dear Ezlo, Are you aware that you are only 3 years old and that your whole life and memories was made by a Japanese guy?
Ezlo replies...
Are you aware you are mostly made up of water and you are 1 cm taller in the morning compared to the evening due to cartilage compression? Your entire life and memories were written by me, by the way. Oh, and I also got a yaoi fanfic writer to take care of your future. My advice would be to avoid any alleyways behind gyms and theaters.
Fredfrankburger asks
are you a hobo?
Ezlo replies...
I am not a man without a home, nor am I a spider. Does this answer your question?
XP asks
Dear minish man, Hey! I have a question! Er.... I forgot. -_-' Me and my bad memory.
Ezlo replies...
Hmmph, you got me all worked up for a decent question only to inform me that you have forgotten? That is the last time I get my ulcers all riled up for a question. Daphne, where's my Pico Bismol...?
OThe Magic Sock Asks
Asks Dear Ezlo, If Vaati turned into a sock instead of a hat, do you think link would put you on his foot and take off his boot every time he wanted to ask you something? Or would rather be turned into a pear of boxers?
Ezlo replies...
If Vaati turned into a sock...well then why would I be put on his foot? That makes not even a wee bit of sense. A pear of boxers? As in a fruit of boxers...ah. I see what you mean. You know, back in my day, when we misspelled a word we were forced to write it over and over again until we spelled it right. On our stomach. With a knife. Then it would always be there as a reminder. If you always type so incoherently, I would suggest you follow the same regiment, before you foul up the English language any more!
Aaahh!...Hi! asks
Dear Ezlo, if a girl u like is going out with ur best friend,but she doesnt know u like her because she is really in love with ur best friend who really only said yes to her "wanna go out" note because people told him to,and then she walks up to you after school and says that she wanted to kiss him but she couldnt find him, and then you think(good thing she couldnt find him,thank goodness),what do u do?
Ezlo replies...
Well, I would just slap the little brat upside the head and tell her to wake up--Gah! Daphne, what are you doing to my hands! No--
Daphne replies...
He doesn’t do well with love advice, not that I do, but I will try and answer your question. It sounds like you and said girl need to talk. You don’t want her to get hurt, so if she truly cares about your best friend you need to help her. As for your best friend, he gave in to peer pressure and needs to apologize to her and learn that girls have feelings and shouldn’t just be used. You should probably also tell her up front that you like her, perhaps she doesn't even know?
