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Tingle approaches a shop seeking its services. What does the Shopkeep say to Tingle?
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The Best of the Bunch! (In order of hilarity)
Yoshigirl
Shopkeep: BUY SOMETHIN', WILL YA!
sundude
Shopkeep: That's it...keep worshiping me...that's really gonna change my mind...creep
Friend
Shopkeep: "Ello man!How may I help y....OMG!"
Uh, yeah
Shopkeep: Get Lost. This is "me time".
Link-wannabe
Shopkeep: No I'm sorry, we're out of pants
cat
Shopkeep: too late a gie wearing a green cap and holding a sheild got it.
(tingles eyes become wide)
lea
Shopkeep: you fired you call that seeling maps! gimmi paycheck this goes ...patui!!!!
vanessa
Shopkeep: hey u little kid! what are u doing here at my porn shop?
Majorasblaze
Shopkeep: Doesn't it pinch down there?
marickiya
Shopkeep: No, we will not sell you fairy wings.
Magnumprimers
Shopkeep: Awwww crap it's you again. I told you! We have no Crack!!
[demonic savior]
Shopkeep: Last I checked... there were no 35 year old fairies. Sorry, this shop does not serve the insane!
ow123
Shopkeep: i hate being stuck in a picture
with u.
Rem Girl
Shopkeep: GAHHH!!! IT'S TINGLE!!! Quick, someone get the Master Sword! It's the Bane of Evil!
kirby comix v2
Shopkeep: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
blahman
Shopkeep: Hello.Welcome to Iron Joe's,how may I help you?
Awkin
Shopkeep: Sorry. I don't serve turnips.
ChibiLink
Shopkeep: Oh man I thought I escaped those crazies when I quit that mental institution job!
The Matricks
Shopkeep: ZE GOGGLES! ZEY DO NOTHING!!
jorge
Shopkeep: hey tingle how ya doing looks like been all green doesn't mean you can camuflage.
Seta
Shopkeep: Would you stop?! I'm not buying the "I'm Superman so give me free stuff" thing! Superman is taller, his suit is blue, he has a cape, does NOT need a balloon to fly, and definately does not have all that extra fat the last time I checked...
Zelda 101
Shopkeep: Tingle, we DO NOT accept "magical pieces of fairy dust"!
Nunya
Shopkeep: If Tingle comes in,TAKE HIM OUT.
Booger McOnion shorts
Shopkeep: Hello, we sell children here. Would you like to buy one? -holds up Link-
TheBoomGoesKaboom
Shopkeep: Welcome to McDonalds! Are you the Ronald McDonald that we scheduled for the special apearance this afternoon?
Tingle: No, you fool! I am here to take your happy meal toys! Now hand 'em over and nobody gets hurt!
maku
Shopkeep: Tingle, why you smellin funny today?
It's Me
Tingle: Daddy says I can't make a salad... WELL DADDY'S WRONG!!!
Shopkeep: Umm... Sir?
Tingle: I can make a good salad. Aaaaa tasty salad.
Shopkeep: Sir, are you going to buy something or not?
Tingle: Oh! Hello, Mr. Shopkeeper! Do you want some tasty salad?
Shopkeep: Uh...ok.
Tingle: Do you got any rupees?
Shopkeep: No.
Tingle: WELL YOU CAN'T!! My salad!!! Mine... (Tingle skips off into a nearby forest)
Shopkeep: I better warn the other shops about this one...
PotNoodle
Shopkeep: Oh for gods sake how many times do i have to tell you. I dont want to buy any of you maps
Darth Vader
Shopkeep: Hold on a second TINGLE. LLLLLLLLLuuuuuukkkkkkkeeeeeee where's my lightsaber "HE" is back.
shrubberies
Shopkeep: Sorry, we don't serve shrubberies here.
Richard Hinman
Shopkeep: Oh G--, NO! Hello, is this 1-800-Ezlo? I would like to order an MG42 German Machine gun and a 50.Cal, please. You will see why soon enough.
ChaosEmerl
Shopkeep: I'm sorry, but we don't sell mepsipax.
Guy man
Shopkeep: What sin have I done to derserve this!!
My Dragon Firestorm and Me
Shopkeep: Velcome to ze fleet! I am ze great Admiral Dovalski! Look alive for ve--eh, who am I kiddin'? I'll never be like that Salvatore guy.
Tingle H8er
Shopkeep: *saying* This fairy powder will grant your wish and transform you into a fairy! *thinking* This fairy powder is really poison which will cause you to die a slow and painful death.
aw!
Shopkeep: Tingle,I have prepeared the knifes.
Animerican
Shopkeep: Erm...no, sir- we don't sell any of those CD-I Zelda games. But...um...there ARE some I saw in the bargain bin inside that cute, normal clothes shop to your right...so, uh...go inside and get 'em before they sell out! please...
Shadow Vaati
Shopkeep: *doing Darth Vader impressions*
Tingle: Hey , Christopher Lee, pull my finger.
Shopkeep: No.
Tingle: Please pull my finger.
Shopkeep: NO!
Tingle: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaassse!
Shopkeep: NO! I don't want your... diseases.
Tingle: *cries*
Scooby Doo
Shopkeep: Welcome to Hyrule's One and Only Hot Topic store! How may I serve you? No, wait, we don't serve fairy-wannabes. Have a great day.
Tingle: It's ALWAYS the fairy-wannabe, it ALWAYS has to be the fairy-wannabe...
Raccoon
Shopkeep: Take a hike, ugly!
Vaati
Shopkeep: Get the gun jon... I'll distrtact him.
Jon: HEY! You're that %$#^%er who kidnapped David Jr!
Pierce
Shopkeep: Sorry, but i don't sell stuff to You!
Princess Zelda
Shopkeep: go next door for a life and since you're in such need for one you'll probly get a discount
therealtingle
Shopkeep: tingle, its a drug store, we dont sell red baloons
ron
Shopkeep: what are you a supossed to be a leaf or some guy who is trying to be a farie?
ketchup
Shopkeep: Oh my god, it's Tingle! Everyone get your children and lock your doors!
FBI: We have you surrounded. Surrender or else!
fridgos
Shopkeep: I'll have some meat please!
Shopkeep: Sorry, we dont sell meat.
Tingle: Ok I'll leave.
Shopkeep: Um...um...um this is were you can get the best meat in the world
Tingle: Don't care, its just a game.
Shopkeep: *whispers to self* Darn! I nearly got some money!
pyrex
Shopkeep: Hey, I don't suppose you were with that fat, green, partner-less faerie hangin' around that pretty, tights-wearing map-maker girl heading back to the forest were you? Sorry, they got vaporized by aliens this morning...
EzloTheCapOfMinish
Tingle: I was wondering if i co...
Shopkeeper: No! We do NOT sell Red Balloons, we do NOT sell Blue Balloons with Majora's Mask on them, we do NOT sell Bombs or any kind of explosives, we do not sell Tingle Uniforms, so GET LOST!
Tingle: Actually I was going to ask you if you had any maps that need to be desiphered...
Shopkeeper: Oh well I only have this li'l pile of un-deciphered maps, I could have a hand with em' if ya don't mind...!
Tingle: of course not!
(About one year later)
Tingle: Okay Sir that will be... 10933055849508405891/2 Rupees!
Shopkeeper: WHAT!?!?!?!?!
Blablabla
Shopkeep: Have any fairies?
WindFish
Shopkeep: No, No, No, Tingle you put your clothes on wrong! The underwear goes under the pants... Would you like to buy these instructions on how to put your clothes on?
flaminghalo
Shopkeep: FOR THE LAST TIME,IM NOT YOUR DAD!!!
Daniel Thornburgh
Shopkeep: I told you tingle, were out of lubricant.
Me!
Shopkeep: Um... I think I saw a little guy in a green hat but that was yesterday blahblah ramble
Tingle (thinking): Oh for goodness sake... When's lunch?!?
Some crazy kid
Shopkeep: Their coming to take me away HE HE! Their coming to take me away HA HA! To the funny farm, where every thing is nice and sweet and fun .
Maky
Shopkeep: I'm not giving you a free a lunch!
Tingle: Fine then I'll just tell everyone what you did at the last Tingle party.
Shopkeep: I'll give you a free lunch for a month. My life will be ruind if anyone even found out I was at a tingle party...my life would be ruind.
Tingle: Make that sound like a bad thing.
Super Bunny!!!
Shopkeep: Hey, aren't you that guy on the wanted sign over there?
Archery101
Shopkeep: Son???
Julie the Goddess
Shopkeep: for the last time, THIS ISN'T A HAMBURGER JOINT!!!
Videogameatic
Shopkeep: Hey,is that a thong you have on?!
DarkElf
Shopkeep: So...your out of maps.....and you came here? So, who told you about the secret map shop? HUH?! WHO YOU LOOSER!?!?!?
Tingle: Uh....
Goddess of Hyrule
Shopkeep: sorry I only serve Ezlo and other peole.But not freaks in pajamas like you! so I can't serve you so go away!
Nitros
Shopkeep: You must be at least THIS tall to use shop.
newbkyng
Shopkeep: Become a shopkeep, the wife says. It'll be fun, the wife says.
the one ring
Shopkeep: sorry tingle, no offense, but sound so selfull like "tingle is so happy sir" it reminds me of another costomer i had a few years back, he kept telling me that i was the one who stole his "magic ring" and we had a brutal fight, after that, things were never the same again (shudders) now go away before i call a magical fairy to carry you away.
nothing much under egg over easy
Tingle: hey, are you Santa Clause??
Shopkeep: REALLY!! i thought i was the Easter bunny -.-
StarCraft is Cool
Shopkeep: Your not from around here aren't you?
MasterCard
Shopkeep: 20 maps, 100 rupees
6 pairs of green tights, 40 rupees
100 extra large red balloons, 20 rupees
the face on tingle finding out we dont sell those items here, priceless
Ezlo's phone
Message sent: yesterday at 12:32 Pm
Shopkeep: (calls Ezlo) hey Ezlo, tingle has found our supply of anti Eggplant Spray and knows your secret location. we need to relocate-- (static)
Tingle: the shopkeeper isnt hear right now, leave a message and we will call you back (beep)
Ezlo: Daphne! get in the car quick! we are moving
M-Warrior
Shopkeep: IT'S TINGLE!!! CALL SECURITY, CALL EZLO, GATHER THE EGGPLANTS!!! TORTURE HIM TO DEATH!!!
Tingle: I only asked if you want to buy a map in it's new cheaper price, 50,000 rupees
Sith
Shopkeep: Who are you? Get out of my face! OR I'll put this kokiri sword up your *** where it doesn't belong!
Old man
Shopkeep: you looking for some goods Wink Wink
Matt B
Shopkeep: for the last time!!! we dont buy maps!!!!
Shopkeep
Shopkeep: I am on Ezlo's side go away!! HISSS HISSS
Shopkeeper
Shopkeep: ".... no."
MagmarFire
Shopkeep: Hehehehe... I KNEW those new rifles in stock would come in handy someday!
Crane
Shopkeep: Can't you read? this isn't a free kissing stand!
Onza
Shopkeep: Can t you read? It says, Any and All Representatives from the Neverland Ranch will be Beaten to a Pulp with a Crowbar and Unceremoniously Buried in the Backyard . Now scram or I'll bash your head in!
1080spinattack
Shopkeep: You poor thing, you're a Tingle
Ancient Man
Shopkeep: ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz
Tingle: Uh-oh, Tingle thinks Tingle killed the man, TINGLE WILL BURY HIM!!!
LoL fan
Shopkeep: *in thought* Oh, gosh! It's Tingle! I hope he doesn't recognize me under this human suit, for I am Kaepora Gaebora!
Tingle: Sir, excuse me, sir, I'd like to have some laser weapons.
Shopkeep: We do not sell items that are not invented yet, sir.
Corrinda
Shopkeep: No I can do nothing to help repair your balloon... *sigh* My advice to ya dont follow that Link kid and robbin him... He's just gonna pop the ballon
Stranger
Shopkeep: Its a leaf or is that my wife?
what the
Shopkeep: Id say,with a ugly, fugly guy like you as a customer,...How can you exist in this good workd
Josh
Shopkeep: I don't serve your kind Tingle.
mann
Shopkeep: sorry were closed
BlueBerry
Shopkeep: Koolo lim-wha??
Kyougou
Shopkeep: SORRY. NO PANTS. NO SHOES. NO SERVICE.
linklover15
Shopkeep: Tingle,your never leaving are you?!
Farore's Fire
Shopkeep: What do you mean you want 20 pounds of explosives?!? I can't sell that to you! We only have explosives in 50 pound packs...
Harashi
Shopkeep: I think it's your problem that your underpants have a brown streak.
Sevanya
Shopkeep: Whatever you're selling--I ain't buying! So put an egg in your shoe and beat it!
Mercury Matt
Shopkeep: Security Would You Take This Psycho Fairy Imposter Away
NLink
Shopkeep: Before I sell you anything, I'm going to have to ask you to put your pants on OVER your underwear.
iastreb
Shopkeep: It is Tingle! Kill him! I want him dead!
Phantomsiblings
Shopkeep: Buy this bomb bag and we'll throw in this free used showercap!
Crimsonrose123
Shopkeep: One moment please...*picks up phone and dials* Ezlo, it's me. Don't ask questions, just get down here quick, and bring something lethal...
Greencap
Tingle: I'm Baaaaaaack!
Shopkeeper: Oh hell no Tingle! I am not wearing those tights!
Ethan
Shopkeep: Sorry we don't sell fairys here.
flaminghalo
Shopkeep: security!!!
JrP
Shopkeep: This isn't the "Rupee Filled Flower" Garden Centre. Go next door.
ZELDAFAN!n_n
Shopkeep: Sorry, no rupees for sale.
Sephiroth
Shopkeep: Sorry loser, we don't serve your kind here, now leave before i shoot you *gun goes off* *speaking sarcastically* oops! *people come out cheering and dancing on the streets*
sally
Shopkeep: don't you read the sign. we don't serve fairy wannabees
Bill
Shopkeep: Sorry, were out of fairy dust.
Tingle: How in the world can you be out of Fairy dust?!
Shopkeep: Peter Pan bought the last of it.
Tingle: my idol, my rival....
Gavin
Shopkeep: I would like one kokiri sowrd and a Deku sheild and all of the items you have please.
pave
Shopkeep: NO for the LAST TIME we do NOT sell Red balloons, for chrissake this is the 75th time!!!!
Grrr
Shopkeep: No, we do not sell the secret to becomming a fairy!
Din
Shopkeep: CONEHEAD!
Richard Hinman
Shopkeep: Are your parents around, little three year old?
Some girl
Shopkeep: That frogy looking thingy is SOOOOO ugly. Maybe I can sell it to the zoo.
link909
Shopkeep: hey! get outa here! we dont help people like you!!!!!
Kat
Shopkeep: Wheres your mother shortstuff
Random Fan
Shopkeep: Hey, it's Sean Connery!
Shopkeep: I am not, now go before I go James Bond on you.
shadowlink13
Shopkeep: I assure you, Mr. Tingle, Timmy wants to play with you, but he is just too busy. I got him working here. He is welcome to go to your ranch on any day the shop is closed.
shewter
Shopkeep: Sorry, we don't serve fairies.
Tingle: I'm a fairy!?! Oh, Tingle is so happy, sir!!!
the shazamer
Shopkeep: okay, you gonan to the dolla' store then to another store and then you come back here, shield no more $34.50 $40.00 dolla'
Evanie
Shopkeep: No soup for you!
Jeff
Shopkeep: We don´t give service to people wearing tights!
Dekudentist
Shopkeep: No, the pink shirt shop is on your right.
Gamefreak
Shopkeep: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!
Nic
Shopkeep: Oh my Triforce, I don't want any of your cookies!!
Kathryne
Shopkeep: NOT YOU AGAIN! Geez, I have tried everything with you! I will say only this today: TINGLE, I HATE YOUR GUTS!
Tingle: Tingle is only wanting to sell you a map!
Xyana the Arrow
Shopkeep: My god...no, no and NO!!! We do not serve demented wanna be fairies! Plus, we heard about that little chicken fiasco.
Jay Rock
Shopkeep: So, How do you like those "genuine" fairy clothes I gave you?
KC
Shopkeep: I'll pay you Rupees to go away.
Blank
Shopkeep: See the clothing shop right next store? That should be your first stop.
cucco man
Shopkeep: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! ITS TINGLE! JACK, WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!?!?!
dragon lord
Shopkeep: dont move, he cant see you if you dont move!
The Person 2.0
Shopkeep: IT'S TINGLE! HE'S COME BACK!QUICK! SOME ONE GET EZLO!
Howl
Shopkeep: We don't serve werido things
linkthehero
Shopkeep: Oh look a little green man that thinks he is a fairy what do you want crazy
Slim Bob BIlly
Shopkeep: Green spandex elf suits? No, you want next door mate
blahman
Shopkeep: For the last time Tingle! The password is NOT Kooloo-limpa!
Peter
Shopkeep: Good luck trying to read the backround text
mt.pumpkin
Shopkeep: Thou shalt meditate with carpet on thy head!!!!
Someone Ebil
Shopkeep: No, we do not sell Tingle costumes for stupid kiddnappers that do nothing but float around on red balloons, put the innocent kiddnaped in coustumes looking like one's self, and use the kiddnaped subjects to push around Tingle towers, in the middle of nowhere, all day and all night! Did I tell you that we're closed?
bowow
Shopkeep: sorry we don't serve pieces of crap
greeny
Shopkeep: billy get the gun hes coming this way
billy:for the village
Linkyboi
Shopkeep: Aren't you a little short to be a storm trooper?
Tingle: I'm a fairy...
Shopkeep: That's what they all say...
Duh..
Shopkeep: NO! I SELL YOU NO MORE MILK YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR A FAIRY! NOW GO LITTLE FAT MON!
Denise
Shopkeep: If you couldn't read the Japanese text...then it says 'NO TINGLES ALLOWED'!
hyde
tingle:need...pudding
shopkeeper:try the shop next door
Trevor
Shopkeep: Sorry we don't sell pride here, try the shop in that erupting volcano at the bottom of that cliff with spikes sticking out of it.
Joey
Shopkeep: *looks into a crystal ball* I see your future. You will be hated by a minish, start wearing female undergarments, decipher maps to a 12-year-old boy for 398 rupees each, and enslave your brothers and a reluctive sailor to turn a giant wooden head of yourself on a tower in the middle of the ocean.
Tingle: 398 rupees, sir? Thats less than you charged me, sir, for this obviously made up fortune-telling, sir!
Monica
Shopkeep: Hey,im sellin reeeaaaalllly good stuff here.Wait youre Tingle. CANT U READ THE SIGN?! IT SAYS NO TINGLES ALLOWED!!
anghan
Shopkeep: Sorry I only give stuff to men
Tingle: But I am a man,
Shopkeep: Sure you are (sarcasticly)
DarkZelda
Tingle: Hello Mr. Fairy-Shopkeep! Tingle need...
Shopkeep: NO! IM OUT F BALLONS, BOMBS, AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED! GET AWAY FROM ME CREEPY!
Tingle: Tingle-Koo-Loompa!
Shopkeep: AHHHH!
Zelda Veteran
Shopkeep: Tingle spending rupees... ive got a bad feeling in my wallet..
Heather
Shopkeep: I thought I told you to never come back!!!(Looks up at the heavens)WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?!?!?!
GerudoGal
Shopkeep: must've missed the memo....
keel
Shopkeep: Welcome to Victoria's Secret, how may I help you today? I see you're wearing our latest fashion...
Roger
Shopkeep: Ehm, no we don't sell hugs...
Lokes
Shopkeep: I am sorry, no we don't have Twillight Princess quite yet.
Moments later
Shopkeep: FLEEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIFES! ANGRY LITTLE MAN WITH HUGE FREAKING POLE! FLEEEEEEEEEE!
winia
Shopkeep: This place is not for winias!
Tingle: But, im the fan number one from David Jr.!
grit1412
Shopkeep: How many times must I tell you? We don't and will never sell creepy fairy costumes.
Rainsinger Aisella
Shopkeep: No, i will NOT pay you 3184 Rupees to decode some stupid, musty old "Triforce Charts" that you're waving in my face!
TIngle: Actually, with the IN-credible Chart I sent you, the total comes to 3385 Ruppees...
Shopkeep: AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!
Great Dragonfly Fairy
Shopkeep: Are you going through some sort of mid-life crisis, you fairy-obsessed man?
The Sage of Nothing!
Shopkeep: WHAT did you say you want!?!
Tingle: I want to know if you have any Wiis here.
SHopkeep: EEEEEEWWWWW!! You are SOOOO disgusting! Leave right now, you middle-aged freak!
NOTnearU
Shopkeep: Uhhh...sorry were closed!!
Luke
Shopkeep: sorry, I only serve people who have a life.
princess of kito village
Shopkeep: I will sell you two nagging navi's for the prise of one!
Evilbob
Shopkeep: HEY! Tingle!LOOK!
Sign: Under new managment. owned by EA!
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOooooo....
Shopkeeper: You'll buy any S***! and well spam your mail if you don't pay!
Link: Its true!F*** YOU!
*link storms off*
Neko Con Neko
Shopkeep: No heros to help here!
X-naut
Shopkeep: Go Tingle on someone else's shop will ya'?Your offending the shiekia!
Tingle Hater
Shopkeep: You know that I have my pitchfork ready, right?
Prime 2.0
Shopkeep: A fool and his rupees are soon parted. You look to me like a fool, so start parting!
goobfishy is i
Shopkeep: Is that real frog skin?
Rob
Shopkeep: Look, I thought I told you, we don't sell any FARIES HERE!!!!
Ezlo
Shopkeep: How may I help you, sir?
Tingle: I would like some tights, a pack of paper, a balloon, and some magic confetti.
Shopkeep: Sir, this is not Animal Crossing, this is...IT'S TINGLE!!! RUN!!!
AlmightyEzlo
Shopkeep: Ezlo told me you might come here...
GUARDS SIEZE HIM, THROW HIM IN THE DUNGEON NO FOOD OR WATER, THEN HANG HIM AFTER A WEEK-no, actually boil him in oil, THEN HANG HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tingle:What'd I do?I didn't do anything!
Shopkeep:Actually Tingle, I don't know, but almighty Ezlo said to arrest you and he has his reasons.Enjoy the dungeon.
nerdfrombeyond
Shopkeep: Son?
Tingle:Dad?Koolo-Limpa!!
Shopkeep:NOOOOO!!!
Anju
Shopkeep: "Ello man!Welcome to,oh my god!"
hylia hottie
Shopkeep: I'm sorry, you must have passed a sanity test in order to buy the fairy you want.
Tingle:WHAT!?! Can I do chores instead? Oh please, please, pleeeeeeeease????????/
Shopkeeper: and loose the outfit!!!
Vivi Orunitia
Shopkeep: GIT OFFA MA LAWN,YOU FAIRY WANNA-BE!
Maki
Shopkeep: We dont serve grown up drinks to kids!
Aaron
Shopkeep: I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you. Hey that sounds like an idea.
Noah
Shopkeep: Why should I trust you? You might have counterfeit rupees! Besides, your insane!
JOE
Shopkeep: We sell Rupees here. Our prices are:
Green Rupee: 5 Rupees
Blue Rupee: 10 Rupees
Red Rupee: 25 Rupees
Orange Rupee: A MILLION RUPEES!!!1!!!!1!!!!111
Tingle: What bargains!
HH
Shopkeep: Who can I help you with excellent service, sir or ma'am?
Tingle: *Holds up three boxes of pizza* Papa Tingle!
Altair
Shopkeep: O.K. here`s the deal... you run away very quickly and I don`t chop your head off.
no one
Shopkeep: FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT AN OLD WOMAN!!!
Jack
Shopkeep: No Shirts, No Shoes, No Sanity, No Service!
