The Caption Game is TDC's classic interactive feature. Here, you can submit a humorous caption to the screenshot below. When submitting use the submission form below, or you can send your caption in an email to webmaster [at] desertcolossus [dot] com. Remember when submitting, that any captions considered inappropriate or vulgar will not be posted, as will off-topic or spam submissions.
Link saunters through town square, passing a Goron on a soapbox shouting his concerns to all passersby. What is the Goron yelling?
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The Best of the Bunch! (In order of hilarity)
KC
Goron: SELL ME SOMETHING WITH C! ANYTHING WITH C!
SwordKing
Goron: IT'S PEOPLE! RED POTIONS ARE MADE FROM PEOPLE!
zelda master
Goron: I HAVE A DREAM THAT GORONS AND HYLIANS CAN LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE!!!!!!
link:ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no
angry mob:GET HIM!!!!!!!!!!!
link:when will he learn?
vva
Goron: thinking to him self(link owes the goron mafia 20000 rupees,i think it's time he sleeps with the zoras)grins at link
link:oh crap its a goron
vled
Goron: that sissy is wearing a skirt get em
link:oh snap
blahman
Goron: Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!
Shadow Vaati
Goron: Come get your commemorative goatee, come get you commemorative goatee!
Link: This guy needs some glasses, I mean, doesn't he know this isn't Endsville?
Goron: *looks up* IT ENDSVILLE FOR HYRULE, BABY!
MBone
Goron: "No ROOCKS and no BOMB FLOWERS make GORON something something!"
Link: go CRAZY?
Goron: "Don't mind if I do. Aghhhhhhh!
hikuro
Goron: LINK, GET OVER HERE OR NO TRIFORCE FOR YOU!!
GamerGirl
Goron: Attention, people! I saved fifteen percent off my car insurance by switching to Geico!
Hinata
Goron: Get your Goron merchandise!!!!!....(sigh)oh Link...is that you?
Link: Oh crap he saw me.....
ppg
Goron: Will my job NEVER end?
professer.oofle
Goron: Hey,no,Link,come back!I want to give you a presant!!!"
Link:(Yells)AHHH!!!!"Oh no!!People,people!!!!Run for your life,there's a ghost in town!!!!!!(everyone ignores him.)
Goron:It's only me,stupid.
Link:Dude,you shouldn't yell out loud!
Goron:Well at least I'm not as dumb as you!
Link:fhfeslhflhbcfkserfi!!!!!!!!
Goron:What?
Link:fhfeslhflhbcfkserfi!!!!!!!!At least you can't understand korki launguage!
Goron:ujfguducsgifuscbgusdfgoieshfeosihioeasuhhsvfsiohigserhf.......
goron
Goron: Hey!I found a new place to live!
poo
Goron: Come to goron city to buy heat resistant tunics, special crop & great long 2hander sword with real bad derability!
Goron Link: It breaks after 5 hits! believe me!
Darunia: ummmmmmm.... never mind about that folks...!
Goron: so come down to goron city and buy our special products!
/\/\E |t'S @LL /\/\E!!!
Goron: Special Crop for sale! good for your digestion! After affects may contain heart beat speeding up, stomache explosions, fire belching & very rarely DEATH!
Mantis
Goron: Peanuts! Get your peaaaaaaaanuts! Hot dogs! Hot Dogs! Pepsi, right here!
Link: Pepsi and hotdog over here!
Goron: Thank ya kindly sir! Enjoy the ballgame!
King
Goron: Extra extra! Newest copy of Nerdular Nerdence on sale here!
Link: I'll take 10.
Faroanin Sedai
Goron: Four swords and seven spears ago, we had four more swords and seven more spears!
bad phantom...
Goron: What are you looking at, dude? OHMYGOSH, I'M NAKED!
Lefty
Goron: Now for my next trick, I will levatate off of the ground (struggles to lift off but his weight keeps him down). Crap. David Blaine makes it look so easy-goro.
happy
Goron: Ho Ho HO!!!!!!
Goron dancer student
Goron: Dada tada dada tada dadadadada daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
mlk
Goron: Why am I the only one that knows that rock+rock=bigger rock?
stupid!
Goron: What that green thing?.....AHHHH! Walking grass man!
Gamefreak
Goron: Goro! Goro!
Pokemon: What an idiot.
fire with fire
Goron: TOO MANY PEAOPLE AND THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!!(runs away)
Link:Whats his problem?
Maki
Goron: Want to here the 100 ways to a rock?
Hyrulian Hero
Goron: I'm juuust... a singing Goron... and I... need lessons... so please... spare some rupees!
Link: I would, but your awful singing broke them all.
Angry crowd: Ours too!
Goron: Uh-oh.
James
Goron: Yeah, im taller than you BUDDY!
final joke v
Goron: the end is coming,the end is coming hyrule is gonna flood.
link:yeah right freak
vlad
Goron: i had one to........MANY...dri..(falls)
Animerican
Goron: I tell you, this land will be overtaken by the powers of DARKNESS! Many of my own people have been taken under it's influence as well!
Link: *to random townsperson* Hey, shouldn't you guys take notice of his words?
Townsperson: Nah- he's probably wanting to scare us into buying his stuff- especially since his stock value is very low right now.
Goron: So, in preparation for such a catastrophic event, I urge you to buy plenty of emrgency boulders to barricade your houses? We'll even throw in a free bomb shelter! Please....
Townsperson: And afterall, do you think we blissfully ignorant NPCs would actually take any REAL initiative if there was evidence that something bad is indeed happening?
Link: ...
Prime 2.0
Goron: Spare your change goro? My name is Link goro. My hotel reservation was stolen goro. My life savings were in there goro.
Denise
Goron: Attention, Shoppers! This one goes out to Gloria...Link...I'm Your Puppet...!
Cats
Goron: All your base are belong to us!
Volvagia's Wrath
Goron: Get your rocks lovely nutritios rocks
Crowd: (Ignores Goron)
Goron: Get your special crop here only 40 rupees for 20!
Link: I'll buy some!
Goron: EEK! Death Mountain is BLOWING UP!
Link: Oh No! I better go save Death Mountain!
Goron: but what about my special crop...?
GoroZoro
Goron: I ate one of my special crop, my stomache is making big booming noises! I want my mommy! waaaaaaaaa!
hatroat
Goron: i like bolonga...who writes this bolonga
WINDFISH
Goron: OOOOOOOO! Are all these people here to see me!?!
Cicatelli
Goron: I cant belive this box hadn't broke yet!
Sara
Goron: Im concerned I am going to throw bombs if you don't listen!
kasei
Goron: soap! free soap! for a limited time only, i'll throw in this free ganon!
Neko-chan
Goron: Bring out your dead!
GirlKirby
Goron: Join the goron side or be a moron.
Link: *sigh* Stupid mascots!
Goron: I herd that!
Link: So?
Goron: So you are a moron!
Link: Fool! That is the only insult a goron can call you because thats what THEY are.
Goron: HEY!!
Link: It's true! it rymes!
Goron: Goron, moron. Oh I get it! Hey...
Link: toodle loo! *runs*
Goron: I'll make him say stupid stuff on the next desert colossuscaption contest.
Zelda
Goron: Selling rocks!!!
Zylla
Goron: Getcher fresh rocks 'ere! Get 'em while they're 'ot!
Hylian: Well, You might want to try selling your ways somewhere they ACTUALLY EAT ROCKS.
Link104
Goron: DOOMED! WE'RE ALL DOOMED! A MAN IN BLACK ARMOR WILL COME AND TAKEOVER THE WORLD! REPENT! REPENT!
Zelda Chronicler
Goron: (holding sign) Will work for rocks
ummm... not Pigeons?
Goron: Why can't I be in a good quality picture?!? This ones all blurred! It's not fair!Waaaaaaah!
Gorons mum: Life's not fair. Now come on and stop scaring Weird and irrelavent passers by!
Passers by: Everyone got their pitchforks and flaming torches? Goo. Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrge!
Me!
Goron: And we will fight them on death mountain, we will fight them in kokiri forest, we will fight them in the... umm...
(mutters)i forgot my lines, how embarassing..
Darth Ales
Goron: ALL YOUR ROCKS ARE BELONG TO US
dark link
Goron: YAAAAAAYYYYYY!It's the first time i didn't wet myself!
Aaron
Goron: What's that smell?
Puffie Yuffie
Goron: Hey! Anyone seen my friend? He's Hylian, neutral-colored cltohes, likes to walk around town, and lives in Hyrule! *sees that almost everyone fits the description, and asks every single one if they are his friend*
Navi
Goron: HEY ANYONE SEEN MY UNDERWEAR? It's big, chunky, rocky, grey, and it's got this ketchup stain on it! PLEASE?! I'm desperate!
Hey you there! Dew yew have my undewwear~?
Link: *backs away slowly*
Goron: Oh come on, I bet YOU stole it, like you stole all those rupees from innocent peoples' houses!
Link: AAAAAH I ADMIT IT I'M A HAWT KLEPTOMANIAC! *runs*
Kokiri kid
Goron: Buy some of the Goron's special crop! Goron's special crop? Anybody? Goron's special cr... ARGH! I Knew I should have paid that stupid Skull Kid for that slogan!
Dan (m-x)
Goron: Come one come all! Put your hand in the
box and pull on the rubber sword. If you can free its essence a magical price awaits!
new link/weilder of the power of time
Goron: THE KING OF HYRULE HAS MIND CONTROL POWERS ALL TRUE! READ IT HERE IN THE HYLIAN INQIRER!
flaminghalo
Goron: surgery!surgery!turn into a goron to increase our race!...
Somin
Goron: ha ha ha ha ha...goro...I am bigger than you...goro...the Goron race is superior...Goro...I will KILL you all...goro...(an angry mob looks at him with evil eyes) that was a joke...goro...ha ha ha...goro...I fooled you...goro...until we meet again...goro...oh shit...goro...I said that aloud...goro...now I will die...goro...oh well...goro...at least I got to see the hero of time reincarnatied(stares at Link)...goro...(the crowd is distracted and looks at Link) ha ha ha...goro...I will now make my escape...goro...(to be continued...goro...actually, I can't be bothered to finish this now, I'll do it later...goro...You can look forward...goro...he he he...goro...)
PRFT
Goron: What's he doing here? I give him one iddy-biddy Goron Hug and I swear, he won't leave me alone. He's like a Leever following me everywhere I go. Sheesh.
John
Goron: Come one, come all! I am the true Link. I can accomplish any problem you have, for only the low, low price of 999 rupees! Guareenteed or your money back!
Evilbob
Goron: Why isnt link a goron?!?!?!
WHY!?!?!? WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!???????
martin
Goron: oh crap! my lawyer just phoned me and it appears im guilty! link: that goron is insane! better go kill him before he hurts somebody.
merel
Goron: "I Have a Dream....."
Spazztic Bunny Hood
Goron: HELP ME!!!I'm not a Goron! I found this Goron mask lying on the ground over there, I ut it on and I ended up like this! LIFE'S NOT FAIR!!!!
MBone
Goron: Where's the BEEF!
chloe
Goron: you cant miss me i am quite huge, so why are none of you big eared fairy lovers answering me?
Anon
Goron: Oooooooh, *I'm* a lumberjack, and I'm okay! I sleep all night and I work all day!...
Pirate
Goron: Aww man!! Lookit what I stepped in!
Harashi
Goron: We don't care how you dance as long as you have good rythm! Am I a good dancer?
Four-Leaf-Clover
Goron: No sir! I swear, the loss of over half your health and a majority of your magic power was not due to my special Goron crop! What? You didn't buy the crop? Soapbox? What soapbox? No I am not in league with a man named Tingle. Uh...We're closed for today! *packs up and leaves*
Gorgon
Goron: Please listen!The i'm gonna die if you put your rupees in that pot!
Link:(puts 200 rupees in)Now what do I do?
Goron:(falls down and doesn't get up)
Link:Whatever,wheres the other gorons like that around here again?
Broadway
Goron: (sings) All I want is a room somewhere
far away from the cold night air
with one enormous chair!
Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
Super Marie
Goron: DEH HUH HUH! HIII, KIDS! YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD, BUT I WAS MERELY PAINTED FROM PURPLE TO BROWNISH YELLOW!!
Link: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHH!! Barney's back!!
Jackal
Goron: I gained fifty pounds on the all-limestone diet!
eli.r
Goron: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lillian
Goron: Ok, all gorons MUST meet me by the potion shop to have a serios discussion about...rocks.
Goron
Goron: Link's Coming. He's Going, going, going, gone. Link all the way
Enorym
Goron: Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!
.hack//fan
Goron: Please, sign my request for a free trade with Goron City
Crowd:*Goes by*
Goron:...Please sign my request for casual Friday!!
Crowd:*Goes by*
Goron:(Damn it!)...mmm...SIGN MY ANTI-TINGLE REQUEST!!!!
*Suddenly a large row appears in front of the goron
Goron:...who's first?goro
Decapitated Chicken
Goron: Hey, do you know where this year's arm ripping contest is. The winner gets to squish Navi
Farore's Fire
Goron: For the last time, I'm not a beggar! Stop throwing me coins! ...On second thought, don't...
JrP
Goron: I came here to sell bombs...please buy some!
Vaati
Goron: The Minish are coming! The Minish are coming! Everyone quickly take refuge before they rebel against us!
curious
Goron: Can anyone smell what the Rock is cooking!
Idunno
Goron: I swear to drunk I ain't god! *hic*
Jorardo
Goron: Ectree ectree get your overly delayed game.
uh, yeah
Goron: 'Ello poppet. Er...
HH
Goron: buy them all!!,FREE!(only exesive in June)
People: I'll pay you.
Goron:pay!,sold out...
I like PotC!
Goron: Calamari is murder!!
kokirie guy # 2
Goron: ATTINTION I have a song (clears thourght)yo mama yo daddy yo grissy grissy granny she 99 she has a wart she goin out with gannondawrf.
A Link Obsessed Girl
Goron: Beware-goro! The-goro Cuccos-goro are-goro out-goro to-goro get-goro us-goro all-goro! Goro goro!
Jo Mama
Goron: Look, it's Shrek! (just behind the screen, looks like him, right?)
Master Dark Socks
Goron: Rocks here! Great taste, good for your health, EXCELENT for your digestion!
Dampe
Goron: Give some money, please! It is my goal in life to become the world's greatest swimmer!
Link: Been there, done that, don't work.
Yoshiro
Goron: I WANNA BE AN OSCAR MEYER WEINER!!!
Mikau
Goron: Hey, Hyrule, we have a bob-sled team!
nintendogal
Goron: buy some lon lon beer and get a free packet of fairy cakes
Kathryne
Goron: Please, sir, I want some more!
Maki
Goron: That's right! Ive got a real live Picori in a bottel! It may look old and it may yell at you alot, but it's starting at the price of five rupees!
Elzo: How dare you! Let me out! I am so worth more then five rupees!
Lokes
Goron: Hey YOU WATCH YOUR BACK!
Link: Huh?
Goron: Sorry I meant, you should wash your back...
Richard Hinman
Goron: ALL YOU HYLIANS ARE BUTT UGLY!
Link: Excuse me?
Sheik-freik
Goron: LOOK AT ME! IM ON A BOX! WASAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
Masa
Goron: THE END IS COMING!!!!!!!! THE END IS COMING!!!!!!!!
MBone
Goron: Seriously folks. My dad was that rock guy in The Never Ending Story. So, who should I make this out to?
Joey
Goron: Rock Sirloin! Get your delicious nutritious Rock Sirloin! Warning: side affects may include broken teeth, stomachache, and occasional constipation. Get your Rock Sirloin!
Aaron
Goron: Boy, I just flew in from Hyrule, and boy are my arms tired. And what's the deal with airline food?
Gamefreak
Goron: Meow Meow Meow Meow, Meow Meow Meow Meow, Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow...It may look stupid but I'm getting more money than any of you
lord of all dragons
Goron: THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE AND SUFFER IN THE UNDERWORLD!
Link:(ignores the Goron)
Goron: I'M NOT KIDDING! THE TIME OF DOOM IS HERE! IT'S THE END OF HYRULE AS WE... oh, forget it. They're not buying it...
ethan
Goron: get super mario bros. today and i will take over hyrule castle!
Super Monkey
Goron: Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here! Only 5 rupees! Hot dogs!
Mantis
Goron: Peaaaaaanuts! Get your peanuts!
Mariesa
Goron: Hey everybody, By switching to Gieko, Ive saved money on car insurance!
Luke
Goron: Spare some change for a poor Goron Beggar who has a wife an' 14 kids to feed, guv'nor? Please,and your arms will stay in your sockets ok?
Anghan
Goron: hey every one The Ps3 is now on sale here, and the nintendo wii are all geting burn to crisp thanks to sony and i'm part of Sony
Henry
Goron: All line up to purchase Goron Rocks at a special 200 Rupees per. Any who object will have a special Goron Hug coming after them!
princess of kito village
Goron: The Hero of Time is soon going to be here! Be prepared to meet him!
*Link walks by, unnoticed.*
Anju
Goron: If a monster's coming and you know it scream and shout!If a monster's coming and you know it scream and shout!If a monster's coming and you know it it's really good to show it.'Cause the rest of us really aught to know.
Firefly
Goron: Does I look disgusting to you? Then you need some of my famous eye drops!
Link: Your sales pitch isn't working.
Goron: Darn it! I already tried rapping and fake-poverty!
1080 Spin Attack
Goron: Who wants a hug?
Link: Strange, I feel like running away now.
GerudoGal
Goron: Go out and play! dance! skate! whatever gets you moving. you don't have to be a professional athlete to have fun! go out and play! Do a verb! It's what you do.
Nayru Goddesses of Wisdom
Goron: I CAN SING OPERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link:*flees in terror*
Trevor
Goron: I want to change the menu at the restaurants to rocks, rocks, and rocks. Who's with me.
JOE
Goron: Eat at Joe's!!!
Rainsinger Ansella
Goron: Only you can prevent rock fires! (someone whispers in his ear) Oh, right. Only you can prevent stone fires! (person whispers in his ear again) Okay, I have it this time. Only you can prevent florist friars! (person covers face with hands and shakes head)
The Sage of Nothing!!
Goron: Why is it always a Hylian that's the hero, hmm? Why isn't there a Goron hero, or a Zora hero? I'll tell you why! Those Hylians are a bunch or racist pigs that think they're better than everyone because they are magically inclined and can do telepathy and stuff! Why can't a Sheikah defeat Ganon for once? Why can't a Gerudo? Think about the children, people! The Hylian kids grow up believing they are better than the other races, and those children of the other races grow up thinking they are inferior! This needs to stop, people! (suddenly realizes his entire audience is comprised of Hylians, all glaring murderously at him) Uhh, to hear more, come visit me in Goron City! (runs off chased by an angry mob)
manig monkey
Goron: Crunchy molten rocks! Crunchy molten rocks! Mmm... crunchy molten rocks...
Crowd: (no reaction) take a hike!
Goron: What's wrong with crunchy rocks??? I got low fat!!
maruk
Goron: Flowerbombs for sale.
Lurch
Goron: I am NOT the Messiah!
grit1412
Goron: Hey you! Where's that five rupees you owe me? Do I have to give you a goron hug?
Monica
Goron: Are they cancelling Twilight Princess again? Damn!!
volvagia
Goron: please sell me something! please, with C!
MBone
Goron: Hey kid! Wanna buy some fairy dust? ... ... ... Come on kid- only 50 rupees a kilo. ?!?! Wadda ya mean is it any good?! Why, just ask that guy Tingle. He's like my best customer.
Nintendo2.0
Goron: Be sure to eat your rocks!!!!
ZV
Goron: EEEEEK!!!! A SPIDER!! GET IT AWAY!!!!
Jack
Goron: The end is nigh! Don't pay off your credit cards!
